Taking Life One Day at a Time

Male Thoughts on Relationships

Another interesting highlight from the frontpage of yahoo! 🙂 Thought to pass it along to you and let me know what you think. Just read below…

Yours truly,

Donna Unica

We all have our “perfect date attribute” wish lists. Some are short and succinct; some could fill a book (so much for realistic expectations, right?). But the truth is that all of us can name a few traits that are essential for our next romantic partner — whether we admit them or not!

According to many common cultural stereotypes, men put more value on a partner’s physical appearance and passion, while women put financial stability and faithful commitment at the top of their romantic checklists. While there’s usually a grain of truth in those beliefs, the reality probably lies somewhere in the middle — i.e., with men and women valuing similar features in their partners, but perhaps they’re prioritizing (and, in some cases, defining) them differently.

Out of all the possibilities, what’s the most important trait that men absolutely, positively must have in a new relationship? I spoke with several single guys to find out. In their own words, hear how they — sometimes after years of dating and self-exploration — discovered the one thing that they care about the most in matters of the heart.

“She needs to be attractive”
Washingtonian Tim, 36, is quite blunt about what he’s looking for: “She needs to be attractive. For most guys, I bet it’s the same. At first glance, I definitely notice a woman’s looks. That’s the initial spark… and after we’ve been together awhile — even when the initial spark wears off and we’re used to each other — I still like it when she makes an effort for me.” True, this supports the stereotype of men primarily being drawn to a woman’s good looks, but the new twist lies in how that might play out over a longer-term relationship. Tim himself said that good looks are tied to making an effort for your partner; in other words, it’s not necessarily about resembling a supermodel or looking exactly as you did the night you met but the effort itself that counts.

A study published in a recent issue of the Journal of Family Psychology supports this idea of how looks continue to matter beyond that initial attraction stage, though in a different way. The same study suggests that the physical attractiveness of men isn’t as paramount to women, who zero in on a guy’s ability to offer support and stability, especially in a partner.

“I want to be loved for who I am, not what I can provide”
Marylander Sam, 34, says: “I want a woman who wants me, not one who needs me. I want her to love me for me. I can tell [when] a woman is just interested in the externals, which in my book are the equivalent of being in love for money, appearances, or out of desperation. I’ve dated women who were more into those three [things] than into [who I am as a person]. I don’t want to be looked at like I’m a bank, a daddy on demand, or a means to an end of any kind.” The takeaway lesson here is that men are looking for an authentic connection and really notice its absence. “I’d rather have a real woman who is into me than some idealized version… who wants me to be Ken to her Barbie,” explains Sam.

“For me, physical affection is essential”
Sometimes there’s a misperception that men just want to jump into bed. While it’s definitely important (an understatement, perhaps?), men also want to share everyday simple, physical connections — a hug, a touch, a kiss — with their partners. “My friends couldn’t understand when I broke up with my last girlfriend, who I dated for a year before realizing that this was not it,” says Bostonian Anthony, 31. “She was hot, smart and had a lot of good qualities, but I really ended up craving affection. After an initial couple of months that were very touchy-feely, she became a little cold. It was all about my missing feeling the physical connection in regular, daily ways.” Warmth and touch really count in forming romantic bonds.

“She has to get my jokes and sense of humor”
Dare I say that humor is an oft-unrecognized but key element of male-centric flirting? That may be a new way of expressing it, but it does exist. “I really like to laugh and have fun,” says Washingtonian Mike, 28. “Life is heavy enough. I work really hard. At the end of the day, yes, I want her to be sexy and for us to have things in common, but I want to laugh, too. It’s been hard to find a woman who laughs with me as much as I want. I’ve dated women who just didn’t get my sense of humor and the relationships always fizzled. I cite that as a big reason.” Laughter stokes a man’s ego when he’s trying to entertain, makes him feel understood, and puts him at ease in a way that few other expressions do, because it makes a man feel powerful. What’s a bigger turn-on than that for any man?

“My next girlfriend has got to be straightforward and patient”
“If you’d asked me this question 10 years ago, I would have responded with ‘good-looking’ or maybe ‘passionate’ for my answer,” says Floridian Peter, 39. “But after a string of failed relationships, I know better what really matters now. When I’m dating a woman, I care about physical attraction and excitement, but in the back of my mind, I’m definitely seeing how she responds to challenges. Does she wig out over small things? Do I constantly have to calm her down or reassure her when things don’t go her way? Does she approach our differences straightforwardly by telling me how she feels in a fairly rational way, or is she a passive-aggressive pouter? I don’t care how beautiful she is; if a woman frustrates me, acts out irrationally or makes me feel like I need to be a mind-reader, I’m outta there. My next girlfriend has got to be chilled out and patient.”

Any guy who’s been out there dating for a while (and maybe had a few bad breakups along the way) is going to have his own set of red flags. And, like Peter, many men want a woman who won’t play minds games with them in relationships.

http://yahoo.match.com/y/article.aspx?articleid=12865&TrackingID=526103&BannerID=961481

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January 11, 2012

Hello again everyone! 🙂

How has your week been and what have you been up to? Hope it hasn’t been too tedious or too stressful of a week. Don’t sweat it too much, it is Wednesday which reminds me – Happy Hump Day!

What might be a Wednesday for you is actually a Monday for me. That’s right you read correctly, that means I’m just now going back to work from the weekend. But don’t be too envious because my reason involves EMT’s and an ambulance…It actually all started about 6 months ago but this past Sunday was a scare and a first for me. For my loyal readers, you probably recall about my little summer injury last year, but for all you new readers allow me to bring you up to speed…

It all began with a bunk bed at a lake house on July 10th, 2011 for a Retreat. Apparently, I don’t have as hard a head as I thought because I hit my head on the frontal lobe and right parietal lobe area (was told this after recent MRI body scan). For everyone who knows me, they know I’m a quick and deep sleeper however something startled me awake in the wee hours and I hit myself hard enough that I was knocked out, unconscious until Marcelo woke me up for our planned run that morning. Things were still hazy and fuzzy for me that I thought it was just a dream, even though I had a huge headache when I woke up. Yes I know not smart on my behalf to have gone running with Marcelo anyway, but I didn’t think anything of it at the time since again I thought it was a dream and my headache was gone 5 minutes into our run. However the headache came back full force during breakfast time at the retreat. I wrote it off as nothing after two Advil’s and some water. That same evening at home though symptoms weren’t as mediocre…drove myself to work the following day (since the 10th was a Sunday) and noticed more visible symptoms that alerted me to something being wrong. ER trip was in order, where I was told I had a severe concussion. No internal bleeding or anything found in my blood work or CATscan (thank God). After being released it was the worst two weeks let me tell you! I’ve had migraines and have heard of other people’s colossal headaches but nothing compares to having your head feel like it’s going to explode and leave you unable to function at all. Loss of appetite as in I didn’t want to eat anything (which was a huge red flag for me), moody beyond belief, memory loss, couldn’t recall even the smallest of details, retain information, forgot how to write, always sleepy, and the worst one was always feeling caged. The feeling caged symptom is not only indescribable but a horrible feeling, almost animal like to where you can’t stay inside and it can get to the point of driving you insane. Things were slow after that.

After the two weeks I’d had my follow up, to only to be told that every person’s recovery after a severe concussion varies so it could be quick as in only a few days to even a year or more. I finally went back to work and thankfully they were and have been very understanding through this whole process. On top of that my professor’s and academic counselor at the college were helping me with everything since I was not only behind in school work but I wasn’t able to retain any information from my studies…I’m glad THAT summer semester is over! Things have been a spiral ever since.

I was under “observation” but told to take as many Advil as needed to relieve my head pain (because doctor’s even said it wasn’t a headache but inflammation due to the concussion, that was causing the head pain) and to keep an eye on my symptoms. Retention wasn’t possible, reading was a struggle, writing wasn’t easy, sleeping was getting worse to the point where I wasn’t getting any. Head pains went from an ongoing all day occurrences to only when I strained my mind to actually doing work, which was most to all of the time. Fall semester was about to start but I was given doctor’s orders not to attend, which I have to admit was pretty cool It’s not every day you’re told to take a semester off school because of doctor’s orders! I was finally able to pick up on my physical activities (meaning working out, punching bag, etc). This all went on until my symptoms changed mid-September.

I started waking up with bite marks on the inside of my cheek and mouth along with bruises on my body; that along with my abnormal restless nights aren’t good signs. I was losing feeling in my arms and legs with a tingling sensation that’s also hard to describe. The doctor calls them “episodes” but I didn’t know what these occurrences meant at the time. I’d had a total of 6 “severe episodes” (4 at home but 2 while driving) and various minor episodes by the time I saw the Neurologist in December. My neuro isn’t sure if I’m having seizures but he says that’s what we’re going to find out. So I’m not to drink alcohol nor drive until he instructs me otherwise. I’ve been undergoing tests and have been under continual observation since, until the little adventure of an ambulance ride on the 8th. All my blood work has been negative and my MRI shows “no abnormalities” (thank God) however my neuro is to go more in depth with my results on February 3rd. The good thing is I’m now able to retain information and long term memory isn’t 100% but maybe 89%, bad thing is my short term/working memory is giving me problems. The smallest and stupidest things I can’t seem to recall now.

The 911 occurrence that happened this past Sunday however, was something completely different, or at least that’s what my doctors are trying to find out. You might have noticed that this post has a tag of “Adventure” because for me it was my first adventure to be carted into an ambulance and taken to the hospital in an ambulance. That night was really something for me…odd symptoms started the night before but took an awful toll while I sat in mass. I was already having trouble breathing and trying to calm my heart beat/pulse while paying attention to mass but no such luck. Then I started to think to myself, if I have to go anywhere (meaning the hospital or CareNow) I might as well make sure to follow through with the entire mass before I go anywhere. Those were my thoughts but I couldn’t stand the pressure, numbness, and slight pain during the time that communion was about to be offered. So when everyone sat down I took advantage (since I wasn’t going to take communion from getting as upset as I got the night before,Saturday) and walked to the bathroom. But I immediately took some water instead and my mother ushered me into the “Bridal Room” by the restrooms. I tried to keep calm especially since my mother was now with me, but I didn’t want to panic even though I was feeling the urge to let everything go. We checked my blood pressure which was 196/110/96 and I knew that my mother was going to want me to go to the ER. Actually her words were, “mijita what do you want to do? We either go to the ER or I call for the ambulance.” Well to ease myself as well as give me a sense of security because I was internally freaking out with how bad I was really feeling, I told her to find a fellow volunteer in the parish, who works as a nurse. Seeing my mom leave to find her though gave me the moment I needed to break down a little, still feeling like my heart was going to pop out of my chest! My mom came back and that’s when the worst pain hit me all on my arm and chest. Yup it was time to call 911, I couldn’t do anything else.

I don’t remember much from the time I left the Bridal Room to the moment I entered the ambulance, all I know is that I was staying focused on the paramedics. I heard when the ambulance sirens got to the church but I didn’t pay attention to their entrance into the room, until I caught eyes with two of them. This is where I literally wanted to either slap myself silly or kick myself, because I forced myself to do a mental check of “clean sock, underwear, and bra.” Then it was I did but deodorant and perfume on before I left the house right? That’s right the lady tom-boy had a very girly moment! I shook my head to snap myself out of it but I think the EMTs thought it was to try and focus. I was being talked to from every which way and I literally panicked when I heard that to different EMTs were checking my blood pressure and finding it odd to have it so high, too high especially for someone so young, or at least the youngest in their high blood pressure level cases. It was affirmed that I had to be taken in because my levels were too high. Here’s where I was sort of coherent about not being needy or wanting help because I was trying to control myself so that I didn’t anyone to help me up and into the ambulance bed, then I was smacked with dizziness so I had to be held. So much for being strong!

By this time I was so hot it was ridiculous but once we were outside I was hit with the nice cold outside temperature and I felt so much better. Granted my pains, heart,  and head were bugging the hell out of me but it just felt oh so good! Finally placed into the ambulance and I started to get worked on. An IV was placed in, which was funny at the time because they could find my veins and weren’t able to get the needle inside my vein. The main paramedic (who I can’t remember his name for the life of me! but I know I saw no rings and he has a little girl) was able to find my vein to place the IV and then started to get everyone else out so we could start moving. But how he found the vein was funny, because he was carefully rolling up my sleeve but I was getting agitated and cold that I just told him to tear the shirt, so he was nice enough that he grabbed the scissors instead of ripping, and cut along the seam so that if I wanted to I’d be able to just sow it back up. We finally started on our way to the hospital and the main paramedic started an EKG on me. He was able to calm me even though I wasn’t feeling good and he wouldn’t let me go to sleep! But he also brought out the argumentative or the sarcastic witty side. It was an interesting ride.

Arrived to the hospital and I was put in the same room that started it all, the same patient room that I was diagnosed with having a concussion back in July of last year. Ironic and upsetting all together because of the nurse, Amber. Let me just say that I’ve never wanted to take someone out so much as I wanted to her! And a lot of people are witness to that! Not only was she not attentive but she was one bitch of a nurse, I don’t care if she was having a bad day, that doesn’t justify injecting a high dosage of meds that are to be dripped into the IV instead of quickly inserted into the blood stream. You know what I’m not even going to get into the whole hospital experience that night because I was not only feeling like crap but I was pissed as hell and wanted to make it known to Amber. Anyway, needless to say the meds didn’t do me any good – all she succeeded in doing was making me loopy, pissed, and more in pain. I felt like my heart was not only going to pop out of my chest but I felt like my head was literally just going to roll of my body and my body felt like I’d just gotten off 10 rides of the Mr. Freeze, Batman, and Superman rides at Six Flags…times 20! UGH, still makes me upset thinking about it! And the hospital still released me with my blood pressure still abnormally high for my age.

So here’s a question to any of my reader’s who work at a hospital or just in general to anyone who knows: what are the rules for admitting someone with high blood pressure or admitting someone into the hospital?

Yours truly,

Donna Unica

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January 7, 2012

:: sighs :: Yea that’s right, I started my blog with a sigh. What seemed and looked like to be the start of a wonderful weekend took such a downward slope today you’d think I’d have crashed and burned. Well my body literally felt that way…sorry confusing statement but I will elaborate.

Do you consider yourself a patient person? Be honest here because I always am! Would you say you’re a patient person regardless of the situation or the person? Now that doesn’t mean that patient people don’t have their limits as well because believe me THEY DO! Patient people aren’t immune to losing control or getting angry, no matter how patient a person is. So here’s my next question, on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your level of patience? 1 being not patient at all and anything, everything, and everyone irritates you. 5 being neutral where you are rational and reasonable in situations yet have a good tolerance before your lose it. and 10 being you’re so patient that it really takes a LONG TIME, for you to just burst – that being hours, days, weeks, months, or even years but it could also be something that continual happens or persistently tests your patience. Anyway, you get the gist. It seems I blew a lid Saturday night and man was that unpleasant. I’ve never felt that angry before to where I literally wanted to punch the person/beat them to a pulp whether it was to knock sense into them or to just plainly get my rage out! And no I’m not going to disclose what it was about or who I wanted to beat up 🙂 It was just really out of the norm for me, the one everyone knows as the “smooth” or “nonchalant” one because apparently nothing affects me. I mean I got so worked up I had to clinch my fists to restrain myself and I felt my nails digging into the skin of my palms! Then I got so physically hot that I had to get up and cool off somewhere…probably didn’t help with the health crap I’ve been having. For those of you who are just now reading, you’ll have to catch up and read a few of my earlier posts that explain my current situation regarding my head and “post concussion syndrome” but it’s going beyond a simple post concussion diagnosis.

So felt like my heart was going to literally pop out of my chest, I couldn’t calm my pulse or breathing down and I was too hot for comfort. After doing some before bed rituals (and by rituals I mean brushing my teeth, washing my face, showering, etc) I was still not able to calm my body down…Finally thinking to check my blood pressure I noticed it was abnormally high. A person in their 20s who’s healthy (eats well and consistently maintains a workout regimen) should NOT have a blood pressure count of 142/111 pulse 98! I think finally, after about 45 minutes I felt I was more comfortable to fall asleep, but I’ll admit I wasn’t completely comfortable with falling asleep with my pressure still being so high and my pulse only a little less rapid.

So what do you think anger or rage? Hmm wait is there a difference? I’m going to have to find out now!

Yours truly,

Donna Unica

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January 2, 2012

Can I just say that it feels great to sleep in and be lazy on a day when you don’t have to go into work!! Can I get a Woo-hoo!!! 🙂 Ok so maybe I’m rubbing my good fortune in just a little bit.

Any of you have today off and being lazy? Or are you being a productive person on personal errands since your not at work? Damn, speaking of personal errands I think I need more shampoo and it’s time to do laundry! Boo!

Don’t you just hate when those moments of reality show their ugly heads and say “gotchya!”

Yours truly,
Donna Unica

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January 1st, 2012

Goodbye 2011 and HELLO 2012! 🙂 Happy New Year everyone! Hope it was very enjoyable for you all. Any of you waking up thinking “where am I” or perhaps that part has already past and your finally snuggled in at home? Party person or a chill and enjoy the thrill of the new year approaching in silence type person? Or perhaps someone in between…Well regardless of what you did I hope it was a good night for you and I wish you the best for 2012 along with a very prosperous New Year.

Ok so I’m going to gloat here for a little bit because guess what? I don’t have to go to work tomorrow! Woo! 🙂 The Monday after New Year’s and I won’t be at work! Although there is a down side to my gloating, so for any of you who were “hating” me for my day off rest assured I wasn’t completely 100% thrilled and here’s why…

First off it was a great day because my cousin is a New Year’s baby so it was his birthday and of course a little family birthday celebration was in order 🙂 Downfall-I was still having problems from my little blood pressure and physical ill feeling episodes I had from Christmas. Yup that’s right I was sick all day on Christmas Eve and most of Christmas Day, but as a quick interjection- those two days were actually the best I’ve had in a while, it was fun, funny, and different for a change 🙂 Anyway! Back to the topic at hand; so I was still under the weather so my energy wasn’t back to normal. I woke up semi early because I volunteered to be the lector at the 10am mass, which I have to say as a practicing Catholic, was an honor to do, to bring in the new year 🙂 Then my dad , the father (who celebrated the mass), and I went for a little mini breakfast at Dunkin Donuts and it was delish! I had to eat something anyway because it was about time to take my morning meds and I’d just recently upped my dosage, which is something I’m going to have to explain in another post. It was a really nice way to start off the day to the first day of the new year…

It was time to celebrate the birthday boy’s birthday at his favorite place! 🙂 It was nice and he was adorable as usual. But after a while I couldn’t keep my face in its facade, I felt weird and knew that it was due to medicine along with the other weird symptoms. So when my aunt noticed my head was hurting my parents took it upon themselves to say we’d meet them at their house for the cake. I have to say, that the wonderful thing about my family is that when it comes to someone being sick, feeling ill, or being ill they are always understanding and don’t question it entirely, and try to accommodate to the individual/s. Sorry, detoured again! So we left and as we had been cruising to give the family time to arrive at my cousins house I’d apparently fallen asleep in the back seat. No one woke me up when we got to their house so I continue to be asleep until my sister woke me up a little later because my uncle said they were about to do the cake. The sleep was exactly what I needed but I still felt weak and groggy…

I hate feeling weak and as odd as this may sound to people, especially those who actually know me, I don’t like the attention I get when I’m sick! With that said I tried to make sure that my symptoms or actual feelings were being shown because come one my cousin had just turned 12!! Who wants slugs around when it’s your birthday!?! So we had the cake, little convo and laughs, then some family members were absent for a little bit and the kiddos (my cousins), sister, mom, and aunt got comfy and snuggled for some tv watching of the birthday boy’s choice while we waiting for the arrival of the absent family members, in order to open gifts. It really was a nice time altogether :)…but I felt like crap.

Present time and it was a really nice ending to the day 🙂 A very memorable January 1st.

Yours truly,
Donna Unica

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Happy New Year’s

Hope you all have great plans for the rocking’ New Year’s Eve! 🙂 And no in case you’re wondering I’ve got no extravagant plans nor partying till I drop events-I’m still a little sluggish especially after the whole Christmas episode. But I’ll have to get to that on another post 🙂

Wishing you all a Happy New Year and if your a fan of New York, I hope you get to see the ball drop because I know that’s something I look forward to every year! So happy new year and see ya next year!!

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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Time Between Christmas and New Year’s

Ain’t it funny how the time or few days between Christmas and New Year just seem to either drag out and disorient us? Or is it just me?…Because I had a week long vacation the week of Christmas and I have to say the days went by really fast for me (well that could be because I was sleeping for most of it, but that’s something for another post) yet the week seemed to progress very slowly for me. Some say that even during vacations they are anxious to get back to work because it keeps them occupied or active instead of being the couch potato or slacker we end up becoming during out prolonged and leisure time at home. But what do you think? Was your time going by fast or slow and most importantly, do you have any big plans for New Year’s!?! 🙂

For those of you who were not as fortunate as others, and had to go back to work, I’m sorry and may you have a great week! New Year’s is just around the corner practically so before you know it you’ll be having that extra day off soon! 🙂 Yup that’s right, New Year’s is on a Sunday this year so that means that the day after should be a day off baby! Hopefully you get yours. Have a great rest of the day and talk to you soon!

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

 

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The Day After Christmas

So how does it feel having had Christmas on a Sunday this year? Anyone think it felt weird or as if we were cheated a day? No just me then?…

Religiously speaking (in a comical way anyway) its everyone’s dream! To only have to go to mass once for the holiday and it also being Sunday! I know the presiding priest at the church near my house made a humorous comment about the Sunday celebration. It dealt with what I mentioned above-having only to celebrate one mass for the both Christmas and Sunday. Psht thats right! Who said that Catholics had to be dull.

So how was your Christmas? Kids wake up all surprised? Anyone wanna admit that they were on Santas naughty list :p come on let’s be honest! We all are or once were on his naughty list. Breakfast in bed for any of you? Late and early starters? And most importantly who had the Monday right after off? I’m not really sure how society was this year about the whole day after having off but I will say that “returning items” or stores in general were packed! I didn’t even want to be near the mall here in my area! Dreadful business that, finding a parking spot only to spend hours in line to either return or exchange an item, then to take more time in the adventure of exiting the mall and parking lot. Oh yea, I’d say online shopping would be ideally at that point and time. 🙂

Well I hope that you all had a good holiday. Guess we’ll see how things go with New Years coming up!

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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Christmas

Morning everyone!

That’s right, the holiday is upon us!

I don’t know about you but I’m not ready for it, excited yes, but as for being ready for it, no not really. What about you? So any of you leaving for the holidays or have major plans this holiday season? And hey if you’re staying in town and just doing something a little “homey” there’s nothing wrong with that either! Sometimes, well most of the time, those are the best Holidays. Well I thought to extend and wish you some Christmas joy since I probably won’t be writing much this coming weekend. But I do have lots to write about! So Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🙂

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Deleted Posts

Hello everyone,

I thought to inform you, just in case you’re looking for a particular post from the past or don’t find some of my other posts anymore, that WordPress has notified me to delete/get rid of some of the information that I was sharing due to me not having “the right to distribute content/material.” Anyone who reads my blog knows I’m neither wanting to steal anyone else’s work or information that’s why I’ll say where I got it from and also make sure to share the link. How much more obvious can a person be on the internet to show that they aren’t always using their own words. Besides why is that we can post things on Facebook with no problem but distributing information found on the web (which is already made public) especially a blog, is apparently a problem.

I don’t maybe I’m just not getting the whole picture or the basis of why I was emailed. Fact of the matter it’s been taken care of and WordPress shouldn’t bother me anymore. Although I’m curious as for your opinion, what do you think of the entire situation?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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December 8th, 2012 – Immaculate Conception

Afternoon everyone!

We’ve finally come to the last month of the year, can you believe it!?! It’s still mind blowing for me how quickly time has gone by. Why it was only yesterday that I had begun this blog (back in April that is for Easter.) Yes indeed, time has flown by. More festivities yet to come and hopefully everyone is staying warm, if you’re in the cold parts of the world during this winter season.

So I’ve posted various topics and I realized I haven’t posted many in regards to my faith/religion, so since today is one of the three special and significant days of this month for Catholics, I’ve decided to provide some information in regards to today’s feast day and celebration in the Catholic Church. Yes, that’s right I’m going into a religious topic so if you have no respect for my faith or don’t particularly like to read about religious things I’d suggest moving along- however I will state that for a person to say, admit, and announce to themselves and the world that they are open minded and well rounded individuals -that would imply that you could and would read this post since it provides something different than my normal posts. 🙂 Just saying! For those leaving my above comment was in no offense, so please come back for my other posts and have a great rest of the day/night. Those of you staying to continue reading about the Immaculate Conception can just scroll down to the information that I’ve found.

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/f/Imm_Concept_FAQ.htm

What Is the Immaculate Conception?

By , About.com Guide

Few doctrines of the Catholic Church are as misunderstood as the dogma of the Immaculate Conception of Mary. Many people, including many Catholics, think that it refers to the conception of Christ through the action of the Holy Spirit in the womb of the Blessed Virgin Mary. That event, though, is celebrated at the feast of the Annunciation of the Lord (March 25, nine months before Christmas). What is the Immaculate Conception?

Answer:

The Immaculate Conception refers to the condition that the Blessed Virgin Mary was free from Original Sin from the very moment of her conception in the womb of her mother, Saint Anne. We celebrate the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary on September 8; nine months before is December 8, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

Fr. John Hardon, S.J., in his Modern Catholic Dictionary, notes that “Neither the Greek nor Latin Fathers explicitly taught the Immaculate Conception, but they professed it implicitly.” It would take many centuries, though, for the Catholic Church to recognize the Immaculate Conception as a doctrine, and many more before Pope Pius IX, on December 8, 1854, would declare it a dogma.

In the Apostolic Constitution Ineffabilis Deus, Pope Pius IX wrote that “We declare, pronounce, and define that the doctrine which holds that the most Blessed Virgin Mary, in the first instance of her conception, by a singular grace and privilege granted by Almighty God, in view of the merits of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the human race, was preserved free from all stain of original sin, is a doctrine revealed by God and therefore to be believed firmly and constantly by all the faithful.”

As Father Hardon further writes, the Blessed Virgin’s “freedom from sin was an unmerited gift of God or special grace, and an exception to the law, or privilege, which no other created person has received.”

Another misconception people have is that Mary’s Immaculate Conception was necessary to ensure that Original Sin would not be passed on to Christ. This has never been a part of the teaching on the Immaculate Conception; rather, the Immaculate Conception represents Christ’s saving grace operating in Mary in anticipation of His redemption of man and in God’s foreknowledge of Mary’s acceptance of His Will for her.

In other words, the Immaculate Conception was not a precondition for Christ’s act of redemption but the result of it. It is the concrete expression of God’s love for Mary, who gave herself fully, completely, and without hesitation to His service.

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Shopping Black Friday

For those of you who weren’t working on “Black Friday” did you participate in the Black Friday experience? Come on be honest now!

It’s always really boggled me. I can openly admit to being interested in the sales and what I may potentially buy however I know that I have neither the tolerance nor the patience for the hordes of shoppers! I’m sorry but I rather stay sleeping in bed then to have to worry about buying my cup of coffee to keep me awake at 5am so that if that old lady in front of me decides to buy what I had my eyes on first, I could knock her out of the way! Figuratively speaking of course 🙂 Oh come on, don’t judge me, you know each and every one of you at one point and time have thought it or think-ed it! :p

So I’ve been curious as to what brought on the whole Black Friday tradition. So according to google and wikepedia below is what I found…Mean while, to all you readers who have never joined in with Black Friday shoppers, would you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Friday_%28shopping%29

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Black Friday is the day following Thanksgiving Day in the United States, traditionally the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. On this day, most major retailers open extremely early, often at 4 a.m., or earlier, and offer promotional sales to kick off the shopping season, similar to Boxing Day sales in many Commonwealth Nations. Black Friday is not actually a holiday, but some non-retail employers give their employees the day off, increasing the number of potential shoppers. It has routinely been the busiest shopping day of the year since 2005,[1] although news reports, which at that time were inaccurate,[2] have described it as the busiest shopping day of the year for a much longer period of time.[3]

The day’s name originated in Philadelphia, where it originally was used to describe the heavy and disruptive pedestrian and vehicle traffic which would occur on the day after Thanksgiving.[4] Use of the term started before 1966 and began to see broader use outside Philadelphia around 1975. Later an alternative explanation began to be offered: that “Black Friday” indicates the point at which retailers begin to turn a profit, or are “in the black”.[5]

For many years, it was common for retailers to open at 6:00 AM, but in the late 2000s many had crept to 5:00 or even 4:00. This was taken to a new extreme in 2011, when several retailers (including Target, Kohls, Macy’s, Best Buy, and Bealls) opened at midnight for the first time.

Black Friday as a term has been used in multiple contexts, going back to the nineteenth century, where it was associated with a financial crisis in 1869 in the United States. The earliest known reference to “Black Friday” to refer to the day after Thanksgiving was made in a 1966 publication on the day’s significance in Philadelphia:

JANUARY 1966 — “Black Friday” is the name which the Philadelphia Police Department has given to the Friday following Thanksgiving Day. It is not a term of endearment to them. “Black Friday” officially opens the Christmas shopping season in center city, and it usually brings massive traffic jams and over-crowded sidewalks as the downtown stores are mobbed from opening to closing.[4]

The term Black Friday began to get wider exposure around 1975, as shown by two newspaper articles from November 29, 1975, both datelined Philadelphia. The first reference is in an article entitled “Army vs. Navy: A Dimming Splendor,” in The New York Times:

Philadelphia police and bus drivers call it “Black Friday” – that day each year between Thanksgiving Day and the Army–Navy Game. It is the busiest shopping and traffic day of the year in the Bicentennial City as the Christmas list is checked off and the Eastern college football season nears conclusion.

The derivation is also clear in an Associated Press article entitled “Folks on Buying Spree Despite Down Economy,” which ran in the Titusville Herald on the same day:

Store aisles were jammed. Escalators were nonstop people. It was the first day of the Christmas shopping season and despite the economy, folks here went on a buying spree. … “That’s why the bus drivers and cab drivers call today ‘Black Friday,'” a sales manager at Gimbels said as she watched a traffic cop trying to control a crowd of jaywalkers. “They think in terms of headaches it gives them.”

The term’s spread was gradual, however, and in 1985 the Philadelphia Inquirer reported that retailers in Cincinnati and Los Angeles were still unaware of the term.[

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Thanksgiving 2011

Hopefully everyone had a grand Thanksgiving this year! With lots of turkey or whatever your holiday tradition’s are 🙂 I will apologize for not expanding much on this post but I thought it would be rude to at least not wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving. Well it’s official though now, Christmas preparations can begin!

 

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Confused Men

Hello everyone! It’s been a while I know, apologies on the delay. Hope you’ve all been well, or at least well enough. Before I continue with this post I’d first like to say that don’t be fooled by the title (so don’t get all huffy on me guys who read this) because this applies to women just as much as it does to men. Why I titled it the way that I did? Because what I’m about to talk about, I noticed in the opposite sex, that’s why!

I think that people have a strange way of defining relationships, individuality, and independence now a days. It’s almost as if society has lost sight of what those terms actually mean and imply. Since I don’t want to take up too much of your time on each of these words, I’ve decided to just write about one of the terms-relationships. Whether you’re just dating some one, already boyfriend and girlfriend, engaged or even married, the word relationship has the same meaning just different context. Yes I know I might have talked about this term previously or on an older post of mine, however there is a difference and significance to why I’m mentioning it again, so please bear with me…

Each phase of a relationship has an implication on how the relationship will develop and last. Please note that there are different levels to a relationship and different phases of a relationship.  As confusing as it may sounds, believe me the phases and levels are completely different. Phases are: dating, in a committed relationship, engaged, and marriage. Some people in today’s society might add in “boyfriend and girlfriend” and/or “living together” as other phases because they would either hate to admit or say they are in a “committed relationship” or are “life partners” with the belief of not having to get married. The levels of a relationship are how the couple grows individually and as a unit. This finally brings me to the reason why I’ve chosen today’s topic.

I can’t comprehend or seem to wrap my head around why a male (and now a day’s females) wants to be living a single’s life when they are committed/married? I’ve seen this already on various occasions and sadly women are grasping on to this idea. Can anyone explain or comment why or how this is acceptable. Granted, I know there are many cases and examples of ideal and non-ideal couples, however that doesn’t mean that society should sully or degrade what it means to be in a relationship/committed relationship/married. Incase I’m losing a few of you due to my jumbling of words and sentences let me go about the topic like this…I’m going to give you a scenario followed by some questions and of course my comments/opinion on the matter.

Let’s say a couple is married and they aren’t old but in their late 20s/early 30s. They have a very united family (or at least that’s the impression given), they have kids which they love to death and would do anything for, and seem to have a good income. The husband tends to leave town due to work various times throughout a month’s time on a yearly basis. Now I’m going to interject with this comment here before anyone gets the wrong impression! There’s nothing wrong with work taking away a member of the family as long as the couple has made this decision mutually and have agreed to whatever terms intertwined with it such as, “make sure your home for the holidays…don’t you miss their birthday or our anniversary…I’m behind you one hundred percent in your decision but let’s make to communicate as much as we can in your absence especially in the evenings with the kids…” and etc. Now back to the scenario. The husband and wife are mutually ok with how long and far work takes him away from his family however it’s gotten to the point where the husband is enjoying his time away (even though he’s ONLY working) because let’s face it, we’re human and no matter how much we love someone, we tend to want a little space now and again. But it’s gotten a little out of hand because after working hours the husband is touring the city with “friends” to some bars, new restaurants, making a habit of having drinks every night, and so forth. Again, there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the down time a person has after work, even in another city, but not the extent where it has you out late and you have to “sneak away” from your group of friends/new friends in order to talk for a few minutes with your loved ones. Just like anything else, all in moderation! So here’s my question, do you think it’s acceptable that the husband enjoys to the fullest extent (without moderation that is) his nights out without family, “admiring the view” even if married, and perhaps prolong work trips because of not wanting to go back home?

Maybe that’s not the best of examples or questions…because again every couple and marriage is different and thank God for that otherwise everyone would be boring and bored! Let’s say scenario two involves a young couple with kids and they aren’t married but apparently living together. I use the word apparently because the guy in question doesn’t boast about his significant other as any normal person, who’s proud of their loved one does, but he boasts about his children and you can even tell how much he loves his kids. Yet, he continually uses the excuse of work to say that he needs time away or better yet “I’m glad I have the job that I do because it gives me time away from my family.” I’m sorry, but for me there is something definitely wrong with that sentence! So my question in this scenario is, is the guy tired of his significant other that’s why he wants to always be away and only stays because of the kids or is he mentally 50 % in the relationship with literally a foot in and a foot out of the door?

Ok, let’s say for arguments sake that both guys in the above scenario’s have good motives and have their act together they just don’t vocalize what their plan is and what’s being interpreted isn’t what’s actually going on…if that’s the case then all I have to say is keep their mouths shut when they’re having fun on their work trips because people might and would lose respect for them and serious communication should be present between their wives/significant others otherwise what would the family be thinking or what conclusions would they have, if I’ve interpreted the situations as I have…

I’m really not sure when the view on serious relationships and marriages faltered so much but it’s sad that it has…I just finished watching a movie “Crazy Stupid Love” and it was sadly interesting and uncanny on how the views of society were actually implemented…There’s a clip that the office where Steve Carrel works is concerned on his demeanor and think it’s due to health reasons. When Steve Carrel admits to it being a divorce, everyone changes their sad and worried demeanor to “oh everything’s ok, its only divorce!” If you haven’t seen it I’d say take a look at it but I am warning you that it might be a tad slow for some…I really don’t know when times changed to the point where people are more surprised to hear about couples in their 20s getting married then when someone announces that they’re getting a divorce or even how teenage pregnancies aren’t much of a shocker anymore…I know everything is always circumstantial but marriage is and will always remain a more formal and legal binding of a bond between two individuals, which should never be taken lightly.

Since I didn’t expand much on the levels of relationships like I did the phases. Here are the stages of relationships, as outlined by Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries of http://www.GetRelationshipsRight. I thought to post her article into my blog, so keep in mind that everything below my signature is from her website link above. Have a great day/night and until next time! 🙂

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Stage 1: The Honeymoon

According to love songs and fairy tales, this stage is what love is supposed to be like. You meet, you connect, you fall in love. Everything seems right. Nothing seems out of place. Even if some things don’t seem right, you are full of hope they will work themselves out.

When it starts and how long it lasts: This stage can start from day one, but it’s usually in effect within the first month and can last between three and six months.

The joy: You feel more alive, more expanded, more in touch with life, beauty, joy, spirituality, and yourself. You have hope. You feel exhilarated, or at least excited. You have fun. These are wonderful feelings and should be celebrated and enjoyed.

The stumbling block: You may overlook whether your partner is truly compatible with you and rush into the depth of the relationship too soon and/or with the wrong person. And this, in turn, can mean the relationship may end abruptly and you may get seriously hurt.

What to do: You need to figure out if the person you are with is the right person for you.

Stage 2: The Discovery

During this stage, the initial excitement of being together is subdued so you can actually discover who the other person really is. You and your partner begin to discover each other’s quirks and neurosis, and you uncover things that bug you about each other. You also begin to discover what you truly love and respect about one another. Your communication should deepen to a soulful level, where you begin to open up to each other.

When it starts and how long it lasts: This stage starts between three and six months and can last for a number of years, depending on how comfortable the couple is with self-disclosure and how fast or slowly the couple wants to progress in emotional intimacy.

The joy: The joy is the discovery: you are close enough to be able to glimpse the other person, his or her vulnerabilities, beauty, even quirks — which you may think are cute. The joy is also in seeing evidence that you have chosen the right person (if in fact you have such evidence), as well as in deep communication and budding emotional intimacy.

The stumbling block: You may begin to discover things that drive you crazy about each other. You may also discover that the two of you do things in very different fashions, or have vastly different interests. This is the time to choose in or out, and you may not want to choose.

What to do: This is THE time to figure out if you are with the right person. If you wait much longer, you are almost guaranteed heartbreak. This is not something you can just spontaneously know.

Stage 3: The Commitment

This is the stage most singles fantasize about — the place where the relationship is settled, you know you are together, and you can finally relax. This is the stage most couples try to rush into and arrive at too soon. It is a wonderful stage, but rather than an end of a process, it is only the beginning. In many ways, a relationship does not truly begin until a couple commits to each other.

When it starts and how long it lasts: The Commitment Stage starts once each person decides to commit to either live together or get married, or to another form of deep commitment.

The joy: The joy is the sense of having arrived and no longer having to strive to win your partner. The joy is in the discovery of who your partner is when committed to you, because commitment brings out a change in the behavior of each person. The joy is having someone to watch movies with, cook dinner with, hang out with and do ordinary things with. The joy is having a person you love to share a life with.

The stumbling block: Many people begin to take each other for granted during this stage. Because they have arrived, they begin to pay less attention to the relationship and to their partner. And because one of the benefits we seek from a relationship is attention from our partner, when it lags, problems begin. The other stumbling block is that you may not pay enough attention to communication. Issues that need to be communicated may fall by the wayside because you are afraid of rocking the boat. These issues will come back to haunt the relationship later.

What to do: Make communication with each other a priority right now, as this is the best foundation for your relationship. Most people don’t know what true communication in a relationships means or how to actively implement it. Yet the success of the relationship, and continuing the happiness you now share, depend on both of your abilities to communicate with each other.

Stage 4: The Power Struggle

This is the stage at which most couples split up. The power struggle can be a gut-wrenching, painful place for a couple to be. This can be a time of arguments or silence, a time that truly will test the couple’s love. Couples at this stage wonder how they got here since it can come on unexpectedly out of nowhere. This can be a shocking stage for a couple.

When it starts and how long it lasts: This stage can start as soon as the commitment is solidified — when the couple makes a deep commitment, gets married, moves in together, etc., or soon thereafter. It can last until the couple breaks up, or for many years. Or the couple can find a way to work through this stage and move into the next stages of the relationship.

The joy: There is not much joy in this stage. The joy may be in the periods when you are not power struggling and are enjoying each other’s company. The other joy is in not arguing, or resolving an argument quickly, even some of the time.

The stumbling block: There are two prime stumbling blocks. One is that when couples get to this stage they do not realize it is a normal stage for all relationships, and that they can get through it. Instead, the couple thinks something is wrong – perhaps they are no longer compatible or they no longer love each other. The second stumbling block is that the couple can get stuck in this stage, with one or both partners being unwilling to move forward. This will eventually wear the relationship down until there will be nothing left.

What to do: There are no simple solutions to a power struggle in a relationship. It’s a complicated phenomenon that is inevitable. But it is resolvable. If you love each other, it is worth time and energy to resolve it. After all, if you don’t do it in this relationship, it will just happen in your next relationship.

At this point in your relationship you will follow one of two tracks. A couple who has negotiated the power struggle successfully will follow Track One, below. A couple who did not negotiate the power struggle successfully will follow Track Two, also below. Track One: After the power struggle is resolved

Stage 5: Growth

It takes a lot of soul searching, self-discovery, intimacy work and deepened communication to break out of the power struggle and move beyond it. Now both partners must grow emotionally for the relationship to thrive. Those who are committed to their relationship do grow, no matter what may be required of them. Think of this period as your second chance to create the relationship you have always wanted with a partner you have always wanted to be with.

When it starts and how long it lasts: Growth is an ongoing state of any relationship, but it will be more intense at some times than at others. After a power struggle, the couple will experience a “growth spurt” with a period of intense growth lasting from six months to a year or longer.

The joy: The joy is in the results of the growth. The more each of you grows, the more intimacy you are able to share with one another. The more intimate you become, the more in love you become. The more love you feel for each other, the more joyful you become.

The stumbling block: Growth can be terrifying and confusing. You may know what you need to change in your behavior, but you may be afraid to make the changes. Or you may have no idea how to make the changes. The same thing may apply to your partner.

What to do: Find a way to grow — together and separately — on purpose. To keep your relationship vital, you both must mature and develop emotionally.

Stage 6: The Second Honeymoon

It’s not that there will never be hard work or hard times again, but you have reached a new stage in your relationship – a stage where you cherish and treasure each other, appreciate the good, and accept the bad. You have bonded, connected, joined. Now this is what love is all about.

When it starts and how long it lasts: This stage starts sometime after the power struggle is over and can be intermittent or ongoing. In the best possible scenario it will last until the end.

The joy: It is almost all joy — the joy of connection at a level you have dreamed about. It is a joy to share your life with your partner in a deep way.

The stumbling block: The stumbling block is that you don’t expect your connection to be broken. It is solid yet flexible now and can allow for much stress and change. Yet, as you both are human, it will be broken at times.

What to do: Remember what brought you to this wonderful place and keep tending to your relationship by continuing to develop yourself and your relationship.

It is not unusual for couples at this stage to still have issues. The couple has learned how to forgive the issues, but the issues will still wear on the relationship. Handle the left-over issues and both of you will be happier, more satisfied. Don’t handle them, and in time you risk spiraling into the power struggle stage again.

Stage 7: “The Child”

A “child” can be a real child or it can be an idea, business, or passionate involvement on which both of you are focused. This can be as simple as the value you place on living your life as a couple, or as intricate as being involved in a cause or a political campaign. Or, of course, it can be parenthood with all of its complexities.

When it starts and how long it lasts: Ideally, the couple has a real, flesh-and-blood child only when they are through the power struggle and are into the second honeymoon. But for many couples, this stage happens throughout the relationship.

The joy: The joy is in sharing a third entity you created together or are both passionate about. The joy is learning and working together. The joy is also seeing different aspects of each other as you get passionately involved in the “other” entity.

The stumbling block: The stumbling block will be learning to work together and becoming a team. It can be hard to share responsibility. Often both partners will think their way of doing something is THE right way.

What to do: To make the job of “parenting” and teamwork easier on your relationship, learn to communicate, work together, negotiate, compromise and deal with disappointment effectively.

Stage 8: Life Crisis

Very few people live a charmed life without crises. Whether it is a job or career change, or a move to a new city or country, whether forced or willingly chosen, change feels like a life crisis. Whether it is declining health or a sudden illness of your spouse or another loved one, serious health issues can be life crises. If your property or your financial situation is threatened, dealing with and resolving the issues can feel like a life crisis. If you have far too many demands on you and not enough time or space to fulfill them, you may feel as if you are in a life crisis. What affects you deeply affects your relationship.

When it starts and how long it lasts: Life crises can happen at any time, but with care can get handled in a timely manner and not overtake the relationship. Life crises can also happen more than once in the course of a relationship as the couple grows, develops, and matures together.

The joy: If there is joy in a life crisis it is that by now you should be able to mobilize quickly as a team to deal with whatever situation arises. Often there is also a deeper bonding that occurs in crisis — and that can be a nourishing kind of joy as well.

The stumbling block: The nature of crisis is that there are many stumbling blocks, not the least of them being one or both partners being less available to the other for a time. This can be extreme, such as in an illness, or temporary and somewhat mild, such as in financial worries or the stress of starting a business. The difficult part is not having each other to always count upon just when you need each other most.

What to do: As much as possible, stay connected. Crises can be a time of increased tension, irritability and frustration. It’s easy to fall into the trap of taking tension out on your partner. At the same time, your expectations of your partner may be higher at this time, while he or she may be less available to respond to you. This can cause relationship-damaging resentments.

Then, work on looking at the positive aspects of your life. Work on being grateful for all that is yours in spite of the crisis. This will help you both to get through the crisis more effectively.

Beyond Stage 8: Life Happens

What happens after your relationship has touched on all eight stages? Life happens to a more mature, seasoned, happy and vibrant couple. You move together and separately through your life and know when you need to connect and when you need time apart. You know how to meet each other’s needs and seek increasingly deeper connection. Your relationship is the rock, the wellspring of love in your life.

Couples who did not negotiate the power struggle successfully will follow Track Two, described below. Track Two: The aftermath of unresolved power struggle

Stage 5: Anger

If the power struggle is not negotiated successfully, at some point one or both partners give up struggling. They do not give up on the issues, however, or on their needs or their positions. They simply give up struggling. Because nothing has been resolved during or after the power struggle, they only have one choice – anger. Anger can look obvious and belligerent, or quiet and passive. Either way, it is unmistakable.

When it starts and how long it lasts: This stage starts after the power struggle has gone on too long. One or both partners have burned out from repeatedly not getting their needs met. This often does not start for years; but once it has started, it is very difficult to turn around.

The joy: There is not much joy in anger.

The stumbling block: One or both people can be depressed, numb and miserable – a difficult place from which to effect change. This stage can kill a relationship. This is one of the stages where people tend to have affairs.

What to do: You will not be able to successfully negotiate this stage without help. What kind of help do you need specifically?

Stage 6: Peace with a price

Even anger can burn out after a while, leaving behind nothing but silence and often indifference. The couple, if they have made it together this far, will typically live parallel but separate lives. They will still interact on necessary issues, such as child rearing and household responsibilities, but will share little else. They will finally have peace, no longer demanding anything from the other, but love and passion may be all but lost.

When it starts and how long it lasts: This stage can take years to develop and is often found in long-term marriages and relationships. Once in this stage, the couple normally does not grow out of it, unless something shakes them up.

The joy: At least there is peace.

The stumbling block: One or both partners may be having affairs, which makes reconciliation much more difficult. One or both may have built too much of a separate life to allow for change and improvement.

What to do: If you are in this stage and miserable, get help. There may still be hope, but you will not be able to make changes without help.

Stage 7: “The Child”

A “child” can be a real child or it can be an idea, business, or an involvement both people share. For a couple on track two such involvement or an actual child is rarely a choice. It is either something that binds them together out of circumstances, or it is something one partner devised in an attempt to keep the other one from leaving or straying too far.

When it starts and how long it lasts: For many couples, this stage can be the last attempt to save the relationship. This stage can happen any time the relationship is deeply threatened.

The joy: The joy is the actual entity you create together, especially if it is a child. This third entity holds the hope for changing your relationship dynamics.

The stumbling block: A child, or a mutual involvement, will not save the relationship without addressing the deeper unresolved issues from the power struggle.

What to do: Work through the underlying, unresolved issues in your relationship. You guessed it – in order to negotiate this stage successfully you have to go back and resolve your power struggle.

Stage 8: Life Crisis

Very few people live a charmed life without life crises. When your relationship is in ongoing crisis, actively or silently, change of even small magnitude can feel like a life crisis. True life crises, such as health or financial issues can be downright overwhelming.

When it starts and how long it lasts: Life crises can happen at any time.

The joy: If there is joy in a life crisis it is the chance to shake your relationship up, and perhaps remind each of you how important the other one is or used to be.  It maybe your last chance to save your relationship.

The stumbling block: Because you are already in crisis, any additional crisis runs a risk of immobilizing you. You may no longer be able to function within the relationship. You or your partner may simply leave.

What to do: You should use this time as an opportunity to support each other and reconnect. In order to do this genuinely, you must still resolve all of the unresolved issues between you. This is difficult when there is a life crisis looming, but necessary if the two of you will survive as a couple. One of you might need to begin this work by him- or herself and bring the other one along midway.

Beyond Stage 8: Life Happens, But Separately

What happens to a couple who never resolves the power struggle? They may go their separate ways. They may stay together but effectively live separate lives, and be involved in other relationships. One of both may stay and suffer silently, holding on to the hope that something will change.

If you are in this stage, you need to learn how to make yourself happy regardless of your relationship status. You need to learn how to deeply take care of yourself and how to work through all of the negative feelings left over from years of struggling in your relationship.

http://www.lovecoachblog.com/the-eight-stages-of-relationships/

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Thursday, October 27, 2011

Hello everyone! 🙂

I know it’s been a while so apologies on my lack of posts. It’s been a pretty heck tick past three to four weeks for me. A lot of things have been going on. But before I get into that, how are you all doing? Hope you’ve had a good week if not then hope you’re at least relieved that tomorrow is already Friday! Yup that’s right, that means it’s time for the weekend baby! Any plans or special going on for you, aside from prepping for Halloween which is on Monday. Anyone dressing up as anything? Going to any Halloween parties or festivities? Well if you’re wondering what I’m doing, don’t ask because I have no clue right now. I have this volunteer thing on Saturday for sure though and also a teen volunteer event for my church on Sunday night. No they are not the same thing and yes I volunteered for both. Saturday’s volunteer work is through a non profit organization (Clothe A Child) and it’s their last day tomorrow. They’ve had two previous dates and I had signed up for all three dates. It’s really a great experience 🙂 I’d recommend for anyone who can or wants to, to participate. It starts at 5:30am and goes until cleaning and reorganizing of the department store is done, so could be anytime after twelve. Then Sunday evening is my usual volunteer work through the church’s youth ministry director. I don’t think I’ve actually in detail mentioned about what I do with the “Core Team” (the name of the adult volunteers who help with the teen program.) Well now that you know all about that! Time to move on to a few more topics…

Anyone in college or taking classes period? You have midterms or exams going on? I’m a little out of the loop since I’m taking this semester off. Feels kind of weird honestly having this break. I can understand why many don’t actually go back to school after they have a “taste” of freedom. Thankfully, that won’t and isn’t my problem; I think my problem will be actually getting back into the whole routine of things. Aside from that though I think I should fine, or I hope anyway…

I’ve heard a lot of high school reunions have been going on these past few weeks, anyone go to one or planning on going to one? Personally, I don’t think I’d go to one until maybe the 10th or 20th anniversary. But again that’s just me…Are any of you still in contact with all your friends from high school?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Conclusion to this year’s birthday…

It’s official, my birthday month has passed and another year of my life has gone by. I don’t really have much to write on this post aside from, I have to say that this year was one of my favorite birthday years. Definitely written down as one of my top favorites. Why you ask? Well it’s simple, because I got to do more along the lines of what I wanted and felt like doing. Not what was “acceptable,” or what someone else had planned for me, or persuasively suggesting what I should and should not do for my birthday celebration…no it was a simple what I wanted to do and actually doing it.

I know it’s odd or jars to understand so I’ll break it down even further. Even with my mom’s situation it was still a pretty nice birthday. 🙂 Even with work and personal things, it was still an eventful birthday.

I know some of what’s written above might sound selfish, but I’d you’ve read any of my previous birthday posts you’ll notice that I write about how the birthday person should have a “voice” on their birthday. That the celebration and planning of the event should be based and maybe even planned entirely by the birthday person. Granted you wouldn’t allow a five year old to completely plan a birthday party but anyone of the age of eighteen should have a pretty good say of what they will and don’t want to do for their birthday celebration. I mean I love my family a lot but I’ve always liked and appreciated more, the birthday celebrations that involve what I want to do whether it’s with family or not.

Now that I reread what I’ve written, I’m noticing that this post is sounding a lot like some immature, selfish individual who has yet to learn the whole concept of birthdays…well let me tell all of you something, I think that the birthday person should always have a say on whether or not they want a birthday celebration or not!…

Any thoughts or opinions? I mean come on, would you always want your parents/family/family member planning your birthday parties when you might on occasion want to just hang out with friends? Be honest!

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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Emotions

So I went to moderate this “youth event” at the church I attend and participated in one of their activities. Because of the approaching Halloween date the group was told to pick from an assortment of costumes that best suits them…ironically I picked a colorful and eccentric face mask. We were then to explain why the costumes we picked best suited us. Well needless to say I didn’t explain it to them exactly how I’m about to explain it to you, but perhaps I should have…

Before I thoroughly begin with today’s topic I must ask; What type of emotional person are you? Are you first off an emotional person to begin with? Does minor or major things in life effect you? If so what are they and how would you rate them on having a major effect on you? Or perhaps you’re not a very emotional person and the only thing that affects you is when something happens to your loved ones or significant other. It’s been said (for example) that orphans don’t have the sense of family unity all the time therefore their emotional scale isn’t as high as others, but when they are in a meaningful relationship, whatever happens to their loved one, seriously effects them. Of course it could also be the exact opposite on the whole “orphan case.” What I mean is that, since they don’t have the family unit feeling, they could develop a strong sense of emotions and live with many things having the ability to effect them emotionally. The next question I have for you is: are you the type of person who shows their emotions whether it be on your face or “on your sleeve?” Do you have facial gestures that give you away to anyone who makes the effort in looking and observing you? Or do you think that your eyes give your “true” answer away?

The point of the questions above are to give you a “feel” for today’s topic. The fact is, a simple and short exercise with teens was more enlightening for me, then any of the self-evaluation exercises done in my various psychology classes. I chose the mask because I’ve always managed to hide whatever I’m thinking and feeling to anyone. Until recently, my mother was literally the only person who truly ever knew what was going on in my head and was able to see all the clues and signals to what I was actually feeling. I mention “until recently” about my mom because I think I’ve managed to completely “put on my mask” when I want to that she can’t even see what I’m all about. Now is her “mom radar” still working-oh heck yea! Which is what I think what gives her and has always given her the edge to knowing what I’m feeling at particular moments. But my entire family (both from my mom’s and dad’s side) have never been able to know what’s going on with me emotionally and mentally; they only see what I allow them to see. I’m not saying I’m some sociopath who has no emotion or anything like that, I just mean that no one can ever depict what my emotions truly are. Excluding exhaustion or feeling sick of course, because come on, EVERYONE can notice that in any individual I don’t care what anyone says. No one knows when I’m truly happy, sad, or literally beat up on every level!

If you’re asking yourself why I chose this topic, it was first off because of the whole teen exercise but mainly because I noticed my “abilities” two weeks ago from tomorrow, the day before my birthday…not going to get into the details of that evening but let’s just say anyone would think I was a happy camper when I really wasn’t…thankfully though the evening was nice and I was glad it provided me with some insight to a vast amount of information…

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Monday, September 19, 2011

Just when you think things are might be getting better, something unexpected happens…apparently my mom isn’t as well as everyone thought. She’s off to the hospital again…for all of you out there who have a mother, don’t waste time by not appreciating her because it’s a continual reminder for me with the world around me, how many things people take for granted…

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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FDA vs. Dr. Oz!

If you haven’t already been informed by our media about the Dr. Oz controversy then allow me to enlighten you! By clicking the link you will be seeing the article and some video: http://news.yahoo.com/dr-oz-accused-fear-mongering-apple-juice-212559761.html#ugccmt-post-frm-container

I find this topic to be very interesting that I literally took the time to comment on the article link page. I’m hoping you’ve read the article before reading the rest of my post. I’d hate for anyone to be given a perspective or biased information before making their own opinion of the situation. So I will ask, what’s your take on the situation?

I’d have to say that I’m more on Dr. Oz’s side regardless of who said what. The only reason why I state this is being I’ve been a constant follower of his show and the “tips” he gives to his audience. Trying his tips on various topics has worked for me. Granted like anything else, the tips he gives also depend on the person, so some suggestions he makes might work better on some then others.

For those of you shooting fire to Dr. Oz’s, I’d say to evaluate facts. FDA is government approved and therefore of course they’re going to “shoot fire” to someone who is telling the audience that it might not be beneficial to be giving your kids the apple juice you are currently buying. Actually I’m surprised that the media and government are just NOW firing at Dr. Oz, when his “tips” eliminate business for those multi-million dollar corporations that sell products to us, and let’s face it, there’s nothing better than the natural ways of living a healthy life. My doctor tells me to eliminate apple juice because it has too much sugar and to always just take orange juice and on occasion cranberry juice. OH NO! Someone alert FDA because someone in the medical field has alerted a client that their “approved and healthy” apple juice products have too much sugar! Come on people, let’s use common sense.

So again I’m curious to hear and know your thoughts on this issue. And for anyone who didn’t read the article from the link above I’ve taken the liberty of posting it on here. Have a great day/night!

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Arsenic in apple juice! Fed to babies! And it probably came from China! Television’s Dr. Mehmet Oz is under fire from the FDA and others for sounding what they say is a false alarm about the dangers of apple juice.

Oz, one of TV’s most popular medical experts, said on his Fox show Wednesday that testing by a New Jersey lab had found what he suggested were troubling levels of arsenic in many brands of juice.

The Food and Drug Administration said its own tests show no such thing, even on one of the same juice batches Oz cited.

“There is no evidence of any public health risk from drinking these juices. And FDA has been testing them for years,” the agency said in a statement.

The flap escalated Thursday, when Oz’s former medical school classmate Dr. Richard Besser lambasted him on ABC’s “Good Morning America” show for what Besser called an “extremely irresponsible” report that was akin to “yelling ‘Fire!’ in a movie theater.”

Besser was acting head of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention before joining ABC news as health and medical editor several years ago.

Arsenic is naturally present in water, air, food and soil in two forms — organic and inorganic. According to the FDA, organic arsenic passes through the body quickly and is essentially harmless. Inorganic arsenic — the type found in pesticides — can be toxic and may pose a cancer risk if consumed at high levels or over a long period.

“The Dr. Oz Show” did not break down the type when it tested several dozen juice samples for total arsenic. As a result, the FDA said the results are misleading.

Furthermore, the agency’s own tests found far lower total arsenic levels from one of the same juice batches the Oz show tested — 2 to 6 parts per billion of arsenic versus the 36 that Oz’s show had claimed.

Tests of the same batch conducted by two different food testing labs for the juice’s maker, Nestle USA, which sells Juicy Juice under the Gerber brand, also found levels consistent with the FDA results.

In a letter published on the Oz show’s website, Nestle said it told the program’s producer in advance that the method the show’s lab used was intended for testing waste water, not fruit juice, and “therefore their results would be unreliable at best.”

The FDA also sent a letter in advance to the show and threatened to post its findings and the letters online if the program proceeded. Oz went ahead.

“American apple juice is made from apple concentrate, 60 percent of which is imported from China,” the website version of his report says. “Other countries may use pesticides that contain arsenic, a heavy metal known to cause cancer.”

The show tested three dozen samples from five brands, and Oz claimed that 10 had more arsenic than the limit allowed in drinking water — 10 parts per billion.

However, the FDA said the arsenic in water tends to be inorganic, justifying the strict limit. In contrast, organic arsenic is the form usually found in food and juices. Tests over the last 20 years show apple juice typically has fewer than 10 parts per billion total arsenic.

The mercurial Oz is a heart surgeon at Columbia University and heads an alternative medicine program at New York Presbyterian Hospital. He was a regular on Oprah Winfrey’s show for many years before getting his own program two years ago.

This is the first week of a new TV season, the first in two decades without Winfrey dominating the talk show scene.

Tim Sullivan, a spokesman for Oz’s show, said in an interview: “We don’t think the show is irresponsible. We think the public has a right to know what’s in their foods.”

Sullivan said Oz does not agree that organic arsenic is as safe as authorities believe. The show will do further tests to distinguish organic from inorganic arsenic in juice samples, he said.

“The position of the show is that the total arsenic needs to be lower,” he said. “We did the tests. We stand by the results and we think the standards should be different.”

In an interview with The Associated Press on Thursday, even Oz said he wouldn’t hesitate to keep giving his four children apple juice.

“There’s no question in my mind folks can continue drinking apple juice. … There have been no cases at all of kids being harmed by elevated levels of arsenic, and the kinds of numbers we are talking about are not high enough to cause acute injury,” he said.

He said he was concerned instead about the possible ill effects from drinking apple juice for many years.

An independent lab agreed with the FDA’s contention that the form of arsenic matters.

Oz’s testing “certainly begs the question how much of that is inorganic,” the type of arsenic that is of prime concern, said Dr. Tod Cooperman, president of ConsumerLab.com. The company tests dietary supplements and publishes ratings for subscribers, much as Consumer Reports does with household goods.

However, Cooperman and others have long called on the FDA to strengthen regulation of contaminants.

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10 Years Later and We Still Remember…9/11

“New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there’s nothing you can’t do, these streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you. Let’s hear it for New York!”

It’s the memories and moments like today that make one realize how unpredictable life can be and that nothing is guaranteed. I hope that you take a moment out of your day today to remember all the lives lost, the families and loved ones left behind, the volunteers, the FD and PD, emergency responders, and our soldiers who fought and continue to fight for our freedom. May God Bless you all, each and every one of you.

Below is just some history and clips…

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

The World Trade Center

Height: 1,368 and 1,362 feet (417 and 415 meters)
Owners: Port Authority of New York and New Jersey
Architect: Minoru Yamasaki, Emery Roth and Sons consulting
Engineer: John Skilling and Leslie Robertson of Worthington, Skilling, Helle and Jackson
Ground Breaking: August 5, 1966
Opened: 1970-73; April 4, 1973 ribbon cutting
Destroyed: September 11, 2001

The World Trade Center was more than its signature twin towers: it was a complex of seven buildings on 16-acres, constructed and operated by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey (PANYNJ). The towers, One and Two World Trade Center, rose at the heart of the complex, each climbing more than 100 feet higher than the silver mast of the Empire State Building.

Construction of a world trade facility had been under consideration since the end of WWII. In the late 1950s the Port Authority took interest in the project and in 1962 fixed its site on the west side of Lower Manhattan on a superblock bounded by Vesey, Liberty, Church and West Streets. Architect Minoru Yamasaki was selected to design the project; architects Emery Roth & Sons handled production work, and, at the request of Yamasaki, the firm of Worthington, Skilling, Helle and Jackson served as engineers.

The Port Authority envisioned a project with a total of 10 million square feet of office space. To achieve this, Yamasaki considered more than a hundred different building configurations before settling on the concept of twin towers and three lower-rise structures. Designed to be very tall to maximize the area of the plaza, the towers were initially to rise to only 80-90 stories. Only later was it decided to construct them as the world’s tallest buildings, following a suggestion said to have originated with the Port Authority’s public relations staff.

Yamasaki and engineers John Skilling and Les Robertson worked closely, and the relationship between the towers’ design and structure was clear. Faced with the difficulties of building to unprecedented heights, the engineers employed an innovative structural model: a rigid “hollow tube” of closely spaced steel columns with floor trusses extended across to a central core. The columns, finished with a silver-colored aluminum alloy, were 18 3/4″ wide and set only 22″ apart, making the towers appear from afar to have no windows at all.

Also unique to the engineering design were its core and elevator system. The twin towers were the first supertall buildings designed without any masonry. Worried that the intense air pressure created by the buildingsâ high speed elevators might buckle conventional shafts, engineers designed a solution using a drywall system fixed to the reinforced steel core. For the elevators, to serve 110 stories with a traditional configuration would have required half the area of the lower stories be used for shaftways. Otis Elevators developed an express and local system, whereby passengers would change at “sky lobbies” on the 44th and 78th floors, halving the number of shaftways.

Construction began in 1966 and cost an estimated $1.5 billion. One World Trade Center was ready for its first tenants in late 1970, though the upper stories were not completed until 1972; Two World Trade Center was finished in 1973. Excavation to bedrock 70 feet below produced the material for the Battery Park City landfill project in the Hudson River. When complete, the Center met with mixed reviews, but at 1,368 and 1,362 feet and 110 stories each, the twin towers were the world’s tallest, and largest, buildings until the Sears Tower surpassed them both in 1974.

http://www.skyscraper.org/TALLEST_TOWERS/t_wtc.htm

To see a vivid timeline of what occurred this day ten years ago…just click this link: http://www.history.com/topics/world-trade-center/videos#911-timeline

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Hard work pays off…

Happy Friday everyone! Amazing how fast a week goes by when you’ve had the Monday of that week off…any big plans or event going on to enjoy the wonderful weather we’ve been having? I’d suggest everyone enjoy it now while it lasts because it’s been said that next week mother nature will remind us that we are still in the season of summer. Yup that’s right, more hot weather coming our way.

Speaking of hot, tomorrow will be my last day on the meds and hopefully getting back to “healthy as a horse.” Only thing worrying me about my current symptoms is the fact that my body temperatures are still abnormal and irregular. Something I’ve been noting and staying vigilant with. According to doctors if your not still 100% back to normal from a recent concussion hot body temperatures can complicate concussion symptoms and/or delay the healing process of the head/mind. OH speaking of concussion! If you recall from earlier this past week, on Tuesday to be exact, I went to the doctor and also to the opportunity to tell her about my restless nights. Since I’ve tried all “natural remedies” I’m to the point of needing the opinion and solution of a medical professional. Unfortunately I was given something I didn’t want…more “pills.” She prescribed me something to see if it would work in easing my nerves that apparently seem to still be active during my REM sleep, which is why I’m still restless even after a full days work, a thorough and long workout, and sleeping late to purposely tire myself out. Hopefully it works but guess we’ll have to wait and see. I’m going to start on those meds later on next week. But now that we’re on the topic of sleep, how do you sleep? Are you a napper or nighter? Meaning can you take naps throughout the day or can you only sleep at night? Do you take anything to fall asleep or perhaps have a little routine in helping you sleep? I’d love to hear some ideas or methods that work for you.

I have to say though that my work has been great to me during this time. Thankfully I’ve been able to work efficiently and leave work earlier than my norm so that I could rest and get as much rest as possible. In the end it’s amazing how much hard work pays off, even if sick!

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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Thursday, September 8, 2011

I don’t know if it’s possible but I think I’m getting worse…worst part is, my congestion might be diminishing but my temperature fluctuations are still consistant and continuous so that’s not and never a good sign! Remember that always, when there’s nothing physically wrong with you and yet your having a fever that can only signify that there is in fact something wrong with you, health wise.

Yes I know I may be whining but who likes being sick anyway!?! I’ve felt so off lately…

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Hope you all had a great Labor Day weekend! Which is definitely more than I can say about mine…Don’t get me wrong, it was great however being sick and and taking meds wouldn’t me be a highlight of my weekend. To only get worse today and end up going to the doctor. Given a Z-pack when I’d prefer a shot! Swift, direct, and not that much of “waiting for it to kick in.”

Yes that’s right! I’d rather have a shot then to have to take medicine continually. I’m not fond of “pills” or any form of oral medication. Personally any natural and herbal remedies are my first reaction to symptoms. Unless those methods don’t work then I turn to the infamous medical field.

So what type of person are you? Afraid of needles, don’t mind the meds, would prefer to avoid doctor in general, or what?

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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People from your past…

Last Tuesday was interesting. Heard from an individual from my recent past. I say “recent past” because it wasn’t as long ago as a few years but longer than a few months. I’ve put the whole situation behind me and therefore don’t understand why the individual is contacting me. Have you had that happen to you or have you been in the situation that individuals from your past/things that you’ve put behind you start to reappear or contact you and you neither know why nor do you really care about them. It might sound a little cold hearted on my behalf, but you all should know from any earlier post, that once you leave something in the past and you move forward it should always stay in the past. Same thing with ex’s remember? There’s a reason why an individual has become a part of your past and is not involved in the present.

Anyway, factor was the individual contacted me and it’s odd talking to someone that you’ve written off as “a lost cause” or has “trouble” written all over them. Needless to say that I tried to be civilized and made courteous responses to the individual, but that said individual wants to make it all seem like nothing happened in the past. It’s a little irritating and annoying actually. If you ask why, since I’m stating that you should “forgive and forget and move on” then I’ll answer with a question. How do you forgive, forget, and move on when the individual/s from the past your moving away from keep BRINGING up said past?! How would you handle it/deal with the situation. And if you mention “change your phone number” then think again because I’m not changing my phone number just because of ONE individual. Unless the individual is a major threat to my sanity/health/personally then I would do a phone number change in a heart beat. But in this circumstance, no…

Sorry I’m now reading this post and wondering if anyone will be able to understand it without me disclosing specific details about the situation and past incident.

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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From Here on Out…

“Reaching for something in the distance, so close you can almost taste it. Release your inhibitions…Live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.”

The fall semester has officially started once more however this time I’m watching from the outside in. Yup that’s right, I’m not taking any classes this semester. Not because I don’t want to, that’s definitely not the reason. Even with being a little saddened on how this semester has turned out, it’s kind of cool to have the “doctor’s orders” in NOT taking/going to school. You read correctly, my doctor told me that it would be beneficial for me to not have to go to school this semester and to continue allowing my brain/mind to recuperate and heal. It’s been a little over a month now since my whole concussion episode and amazingly enough I have healed considerably but not yet back to 100% myself. Therefore when I work my mind too much or cause myself too much tension, I then provoke a headache and give myself a restless night. Have you ever heard the sayings, “if your head hurts that means that you’re actually working it;” then there’s the other phrase “my head’s working so much that I literally feel it humming.” That’s literally how my head feels; if you’d put your hands on my head when I have a headache, you’d feel a pulsing sensation against your hands from my head and the rhythm of a thumping imitation. Sadly, my restless nights continue…I’m starting to worry that they might actually be getting worse…something I’ll have to make a note of and tell my doctor later, otherwise my family is still unaware of the situation. And no it’s not because I’m lying to them in anyway, I’m just keeping information from them since I’m still under observation. If it should get worse then I know I’m going to have to tell them the situation. Which reminds me-just a real quick interjection here.

If you live with other family members or more specifically your parents, then don’t withhold information about your health from them. For those of you thinking that the above is in contradiction with what I’m now stating, you’re wrong. You see the above is a minor symptom from the main cause (the concussion) WHICH they know ALL about and I’ve explained it all to them from that day to present day. So not the same thing and don’t bother trying to deter me or my topic…The only reason why I’m making a point of stating that you should tell them your family all about your health is because, whether you believe it or not, there are always moments in our lives where another has to take care of us and how are they supposed to help you to the best of their abilities unless they are aware of what your physical health is like. An example being: when you go to the doctor, do you tell him/her half truths of what’s wrong with you or do you elaborate, explain, and “bare out your soul” so to speak so that they can find the best remedy for what ails you? Now, don’t lie to yourself and say no because EVERYONE knows that everyone tells the doctor exactly what’s going on. So take that but instead place your family member in the place of the doctor and the only reason why you should is because there are circumstantial events that will require another person to mediate for you to the doctor or even before seeing the doctor. I doubt I have to point out the places where this could occur- ER, urgent care, ambulance, etc. Just a thought to mention…

Back to the topic at hand! So the academic life for me is at a stand still, but I suppose I’m going to make the most of it in the meantime. Speaking of meantime! Well the promotion at work has been officially finalized and it’s been one heck of a change at work. I’m caught in between whining and groaning now so I’m going to suck it up and make the most of what’s been going on and just mention that, I love what I do and the opportunities are definitely presenting themselves.

With all the above being said I’ve decided to literally take life one day at a time without thinking/imagining too far ahead. Enjoying my time and improving things I’m involved in as well as personally. Maybe this will be my time for personal reflection and meditation, in a sense. You know how some people say “I need time to find myself?” I’ve never done that nor believed in that method; always and still think to this day that it’s a waste of time. Have you ever taken the time to “find yourself?” If so, did it work and/or what did you do? Others who think along the same lines I do, why do you think like that?

I seemed to have babbled enough for this post…until next time!

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Don’t let moments of desperation control you…

“Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.”

I know it’s easier said then done but I’m going to say it anyway, when you’re having a hard time or an event has caused you pain/sorrow, don’t allow the incident or the situation to control you. It’s hard to believe but everything happens for a reason whether good or bad. It’s a balancing of nature…yes I know many of you are probably saying “how can someone’s death or murder be meant to happen?” Well that’s the same thing that can be said about animals, “why does the innocent new-born cub get trampled on or prey to other animals?” I believe science calls it natural selection, maybe known to others by: fate, “way of life,” “the circle of life,” “God’s plan,” balance in the system, etc (I’m sure you can get the idea.)

The point is, to make sure you don’t succumb to the weakness, let’s say for example a relative/family member is murdered/killed/dies and perhaps you feel like “joining them.” Perhaps you might get the feeling of doing something drastic to solve a momentary solution to a long time decision. So in those moments, is what I speak of, when I was writing the above. Do not fall prey to desolation or worse, empower that moment of human weakness…if you don’t feel strong enough then by all means call a friend or anyone matter, to assist you by providing company. No one should be left behind or uncared for…

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Attend or not to Attend this Fall Semester…that is the question!

It’s already that time of the year…yup that’s right, the time of the school year beginning. Any of you taking classes this semester? (for those of you in college anyway) If so, which ones? And are they something you’re interested in or are they something that only allows you the means to receive your diploma?

Well as you might recall from a previous post, my concussion left me in somewhat of a dilemma with my classes in the summer. Thankfully, I had finished one course right after fourth of July, but I was still taking another course, in the Summer III semester. Make a long story short, I got behind in that other class, and thank God I was given the opportunity to “withdraw” from my course with no penalties. I take that back, if you consider not getting a refund a sort of penalty then, yup I got a penalty! A small price to pay I’d say, in exchange for receiving a big “F” for the class.

After withdrawing, I figured that I’d have ample time to give my mind rest from intense studies, till the Fall Semester started. Had some intelligent books lined up to read so as to continue exercising my mind’s muscles and activity. Still currently reading some of those texts and it’s been nice-as in I can literally feel my head working/humming/hurting as it’s trying to absorb and retain the information I’ve been reading. With that said, I’ve already registered for classes and am excited for the semester! Yes I know weird, but I am especially since after my hit on the head, I’m still not 100% myself…

Unfortunately, the “sun doesn’t shine everyday” and now I have “some rainy clouds.” From mid-July to now I’ve had a few odd episodes and restless nights. The only reason why these things are important to mention is because I’m a HEAVY deep sleeper. As soon as I close my eyes, I’m out like a light! I go to sleep in one position and I find myself in that same position in the morning along with my bed still nicely “tucked down” as I had done so before entering the bed. Now it’s just plain strange for me to wake up all in a disarray and my bed a total mess as if a hurricane had gone through! Definitely not the norm for me and it’s also somewhat worrying me because I’ve woken up with bruises and I have no recollection of getting them or better yet, what I hit if I hit anything. And no, I don’t sleep walk, in case you were wondering. Then those type of nights make it harder on me to focus, which as is I’ve only recently stopped asking people to continually repeat what their saying to me. Like I said, still not 100% myself…exhaustion is starting to take a toll on me and my body is literally reminding me of it. On top of that, the “episodes” I speak of are of intense headaches, no concentration what so ever and if I do concentrate I literally provoke a headache, abrupt mood change, tiredness, and then scary moments of forgetting things and disoriented. So I’ve literally been monitoring myself and taking all this into consideration before the school year officially starts for me. Classes start not next week, but the next, and the question is am I ready or can I handle it now?

My family has literally told me “take the semester off and rest” then “you don’t mess with the brain” and the “your smart enough that you can get back on track later.” I hear what they say and I know what I want to do, or more like I know what I’m going to do-because I already took care of it today during my lunch hour at work…So here’s my question to all of you reading, what would you do in this situation or how would you handle it?

What really has me conflicted, even though I’ve made a decision, is that in taking this semester easy I’d be delaying the time in receiving my diploma; since I’ve seen (based on my credit hours) I’m about to finish and would probably receive my diploma by the end of next Spring I don’t want to take it easy! But I really don’t like not being myself especially academically! 😦

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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A True Friend

What Makes A True Friend

The Japanese have a term, kenzoku, which translated literally means “family.” The connotation suggests a bond between people who’ve made a similar commitment and who possibly therefore share a similar destiny. It implies the presence of the deepest connection of friendship, of lives lived as comrades from the distant past.

Many of us have people in our lives with whom we feel the bond described by the word kenzoku. They may be family members, a mother, a brother, a daughter, a cousin. Or a friend from grammar school with whom we haven’t talked in decades. Time and distance do nothing to diminish the bond we have with these kinds of friends.

The question then arises: why do we have the kind of chemistry encapsulated by the word kenzoku with only a few people we know and not scores of others? The closer we look for the answer the more elusive it becomes. It may not in fact be possible to know, but the characteristics that define a kenzoku relationship most certainly are.

WHAT DRAWS PEOPLE TOGETHER AS FRIENDS?

  1. Common interests. This probably ties us closer to our friends than many would like to admit. When our interests diverge and we can find nothing to enjoy jointly, time spent together tends to rapidly diminish. Not that we can’t still care deeply about friends with whom we no longer share common interests, but it’s probably uncommon for such friends to interact on a regular basis.
  2. History.  Nothing ties people together, even people with little in common, than having gone through the same difficult experience. As the sole glue to keep friendships whole in the long run, however, it often dries, cracks, and ultimately fails.
  3. Common values. Though not necessarily enough to create a friendship, if values are too divergent, it’s difficult for a friendship to thrive.
  4. Equality. If one friend needs the support of the other on a consistent basis such that the person depended upon receives no benefit other than the opportunity to support and encourage, while the relationship may be significant and valuable, it can’t be said to define a true friendship.

WHAT MAKES A FRIEND WORTHY OF THE NAME?

  1. A commitment to your happiness. A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship. It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear,” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear, something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you when you’re wrong. A true friend will confront you with your drinking problem as quickly as inform you about a malignant-looking skin lesion on your back that you can’t see yourself.
  2. Not asking you to place the friendship before your principles. A true friend won’t ask you to compromise your principles in the name of your friendship or anything else. Ever.
  3. A good influence. A true friend inspires you to live up to your best potential, not to indulge your basest drives.

Of course, we may have friends who fit all these criteria and still don’t quite feel kenzoku. There still seems to be an extra factor, an attraction similar to that which draws people together romantically, that cements friends together irrevocably, often immediately, for no reason either person can identify. But when you find these people, these kenzoku, they’re like priceless gems. They’re like finding home.

HOW TO ATTRACT TRUE FRIENDS

This one is easy, at least on paper: become a true friend yourself. One of my favorite quotations comes from Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Be the friend you want to have. We all tend to attract people into our lives whose character mirrors our own. You don’t have to make yourself into what you think others would find attractive. No matter what your areas of interest, others share them somewhere. Simply make yourself a big target. Join social clubs organized around activities you enjoy. Leverage the Internet to find people of like mind. Take action.

As I thought about it, there are four people in my life I consider kenzoku. How many do you?

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201002/what-makes-true-friend

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Seriously? Leaving your kids in the car!?!

I’m going to have to apologize in advance for any offense or if my comments seem down right hateful, but the fact is, how in the HELL do you forget or even leave your children in the car especially in this Texas weather’s heat!?! Who in their right minds, especially a MOTHER, do that? I could understand leaving groceries or even forgetting that you’ve left a 12-pack of soda in the trunk, but your kids? That’s ridiculous and stupid in so many ways! How does a mother or any family member/relative for that matter, of a child (of any age), leave an adolescent in the vehicle in this heat?! I mean am I the only one who feels like this or what is your reaction when you read or hear something along these lines?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) – Two adults were arrested Sunday afternoon after police say they left four children locked in their car with a window cracked for more than two hours while they donated plasma.

As the temperature inched closer to 100 degrees, Dallas police say they responded to a parking lot on the 1300 block of N. Masters where they found the children – a 2-month-old, a 15-month-old, a 3-year-old, and a 5-year-old – overheated and listless.

“It’s sad,” said Brandon Finley, who said he saw the children drenched in sweat. “Like they just got out of a pool … about to pass out.”

 Paramedics gave the children water and drove them to Children’s Medical Center, where all four were reported to be in stable condition.

“They were just real sweaty and pretty upset,” said Brian Malouf, a paramedic with Dallas Fire Rescue.

Dallas police, meanwhile, arrested two adults – Natasha Hamalian, 22, and Nicholas Madison, 24 – for abandoning and endangering a child in “extreme heat.”

Witnesses say the pair were visiting CSL Plasma, a clinic where they could sell the plasma in their blood for cash.

A police report shows the children may have been in the car from as early as 10:34 a.m. until officers arrived at 12:44 p.m.; more than two hours later.

Witnesses say someone had left a window cracked, but turned off the car itself.

Under those conditions, paramedics say the heat can quickly overwhelm young children.

“The temperature outside may be a 100, but inside the car it could be a 120 degrees in there. Little children can’t compensate like adults – and they get a lot worse, a lot quicker,” said Malouf.

http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2011/07/31/four-children-locked-in-car-for-two-hours/?hpt=us_bn5#.TjbsKJqFg5U.facebook

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Millionaire Matchmaker!

How many of you are into reality TV shows? No offense to any of you but reality TV shows are NOT my thing…has to be a pretty good show in order for me to get hooked on it. And that’s for any show in general. My sister and I started watching yesterday, called “The Millionaire Matchmaker” on Bravo TV. I like it a lot better then the “Bachelor” and/or “The Bachelorette.” Apparently it’s already in it’s fifth season and seems to be continuing. Here’s a little bit about what Season 5 is about:

Newly single Patti Stanger takes reign over her clients’ love lives, but is love in store for the matchmaker herself? Patti calls on celebrity friends Tori Spelling and Jenny McCarthy to provide expert advice for her hapless millionaires. From a former NFL player to Million Dollar Listing’s Madison Hildebrand, Patti will be challenged to find love for a very diverse roster of rich singles. In each episode, two wealthy clients are set up with dates hand-picked by Patti. With a brutally blunt approach and a big heart, Patti and her staff — Chief Operating Officer, Destin Pfaff and VP of Matching, Rachel Federoff –- give their millionaire clients complete transformations with the help of personal shoppers, date coaches and therapists.

http://www.bravotv.com/the-millionaire-matchmaker

Then there’s another show about to start that’s going to be taking place here in Texas, more specifically Dallas, Texas. I want to say it’s “Most Eligable Dallas” or something along those lines. Not really sure but it’s another reality show that was being promoted while Millionaire Matchmaker was on. So check them out and let me know what you think. Also, if you have any good shows to recommend I’m all ears! 🙂 Or eyes in this case.

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Women in the Submarines

Have any of you read up on this? What do you think?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Navy prepares submarines for 1st female officers

HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) — For Ensign Peggy LeGrand, the biggest concern about serving on a submarine is not spending weeks at a time in tight quarters with an entirely male crew. What worries her is the scrutiny that comes with breaking one of the last gender barriers in the U.S. military.

“I have a feeling more people will be focused on us. Our mistakes and successes will be magnified more than they deserve,” said LeGrand, a 25-year-old Naval Academy graduate from Amarillo, Texas.

LeGrand is among a small group of female officers who are training at sites including Groton, Conn., to join the elite submarine force beginning later this year. While the Navy says it is not treating them any differently from their male counterparts, officials have been working to prepare the submarine crews — and the sailors’ wives — for one of the most dramatic changes in the 111-year history of the Navy’s “silent service.”

The initial class of 24 women will be divided among four submarines, where they will be outnumbered by men by a ratio of roughly 1 to 25. The enlisted ranks, which make up about 90 percent of a sub’s 160-sailor crew, are not open to women although the Navy is exploring modifications to create separate bunks for men and women.

The female officers, many of them engineering graduates from Annapolis, are accustomed to being in the minority, and so far they say they hardly feel like outsiders. The nuclear power school that is part of their training, for example, has been open to women for years because the Navy in 1994 reversed a ban on females serving on its surface ships, including nuclear-powered vessels.

At the U.S. Navy’s submarine school in Groton, where eight women were among dozens who recently completed the 10-week officer basic course, Ensign Kristin Lyles said the presence of the first class of females bound for submarine duty was not even remarked upon at this month’s graduation ceremony.

“I understand the reason why. It was never explained but it was kind of implied that while we’re going through training, as soon as they started calling attention to it in that way, it’s singling us out,” said Lyles, 23, of Fairfax Station, Va. “In my experience, I am no different from the guy sitting next to me in all my classes.”

A submarine group spokesman, Lt. Brian Wierzbicki, said the Navy would not facilitate photographs or interviews with the female submariners because it does not want to distract them from training or make them feel different from their male peers.

The female officers will report to their submarines starting in late November or early December. All of the vessels are guided-missile attack submarines or ballistic-missile submarines, which are relatively large by submarine standards. They are the USS Wyoming and USS Georgia, based in Kings Bay, Ga., and the USS Maine and USS Ohio, with their home port in Bangor, Wash.

On submarines with corridors barely wide enough for sailors to brush past one another, the six female officers on board will all share a stateroom. Their shifts will be divided so that women are assigned to each sub’s two rotating crews. The lone bathroom for officers will have a reversible sign, letting men know that it’s in use by women and vice versa.

LeGrand said she is not concerned about being outnumbered.

“Space is at a premium and everyone has no space. You just get over it and do your job,” she said in a phone interview.

She said she is thrilled at the opportunity to join the close-knit submarine community, but she does not dwell on being a barrier-breaker.

“Every now and then I think about it and yeah, it’s pretty cool, but ultimately I’m just happy I get chance to serve on a sub,” she said.

The change is a source of anxiety for others, including the wives of submariners, who worry the close contact at sea could lead to sailors’ cheating.

“The issue really has to do with the creation of a relationship that becomes very close and then results in further relations ashore. That is, of course, what bothers the wives. They know the kind of relationships that happen between the shipmates,” said retired Navy Rear Adm. W.J. Holland Jr., a former submarine commander.

Although Holland said commanders would be reluctant to have women on their subs, he said the Navy pulled off a more daunting challenge last year by outlawing smoking on submarines. The crews can adapt, he said.

The Navy reversed the ban on women in submarines in April 2010. In the fall, when officials announced the first subs selected to take on female officers, senior leaders held town hall meetings with the crews and their families to address their concerns. Wierzbicki, the Navy spokesman, said training has been provided to the crews and commanding officers to prepare them for the change.

Submarines had been the last class of military vessel off-limits to women. Navy officials say one lesson they learned from integrating surface ships is to make the transition gradually. The Navy wants to make sure it is aware of any potential issues that might arise, according to Lt. Cmdr. Jean Sullivan, chief of the naval personnel’s office of women’s policy.

“There are going to be leadership challenges and maturity challenges anyone would face in their first job. There is just a spotlight on it because they’re the first on submarines,” Sullivan said.

The chairwoman of the Defense Advisory Committee on Women in the Services, retired Army Lt. Gen. Claudia Kennedy, told a committee meeting last month that one risk is that men could feel constrained and resent the presence of women.

“One of the issues around women being integrated is this thought that, ‘Oh, now because you’re here, we can’t do XYZ,'” Kennedy said. “And that creates a greater sense of isolation and exclusion for women.”

The Navy is looking into bringing women aboard the smaller, Virginia-class attack subs, which would require reconfigurations to accommodate men and women together.

LeGrand said the diverse missions of the attack subs would be appealing, but the larger submarines are just fine with her.

As a semi-professional cyclist, she’s hoping to serve on a sub large enough to bring aboard a stationary bike.

http://news.yahoo.com/navy-prepares-submarines-1st-female-officers-165201832.html

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Friday, July 22, 2011

Hello and Happy Friday everyone!

And how have you been? It’s been a while for me, since the last time I’ve written to you. How was your week this past week? Do anything special or were you bored? Well for those of you who had a bad week I hope it gets better for you, since it is FRIDAY! 🙂 Make plans even if small and enjoy your weekend. Do something that will make you smile and laugh; everyone needs to have that moment of a care free feeling.

So this was my week back to reality. Monday was my last official day of bed rest, after my whole concussion episode. Tuesday was my first day back at work and also trying to see what to do about my summer classes at the college. I’m off the meds and am now just dealing with the constant head pain (that comes and goes from severe to just a pulsing head pain) and slight nausea with on occasion memory problems. Thankfully, I’m not as bad as other cases I’ve heard so I’m hoping to be back to normal soon. Next Tuesday is my follow up appointment with the doctor and I’m hoping that she’ll clear me for getting back to my workout routine, because this whole “just walking” bit just isn’t doing it for me! It’s going to be two weeks that I’ve done NOTHING! Of course I don’t want to just get “back on the saddle” since  don’t want any repercussions since it’s been said that once you get a concussion you’re “now susceptible to having them.” I know I shouldn’t complain since I’m feeling more like myself but I can’t help but feel…off or still on occasion “loopy.” Almost as if I’m unaware of where I am or what I’m even doing. That is something I’m not liking…I just have to be patient with myself. I’m kind of glad thought that my mood swings have gone back to normal or more like not even having them-which reminds me, did you know that “mood swings” are a huge symptom of a concussion? I definitely didn’t know! Any of you reading this post, ever had a concussion? If so, what were some of your own personal remedies that were helpful?

As for the academic portion of my life…well let’s just say that God was definitely on my side because this week (more specifically today) was the last day to withdraw from Summer III classes. So if I hadn’t contacted my professor and counselor Tuesday and Wednesday, I would have had a serious dent in my academic profile due to this concussion. Thankfully, everything was done in time, I took care of everything yesterday, I’ve already registered for my Fall semester, and have made my first payment. Hopefully this small academic “vacay” will allow my mind to re freshen before the semester even begins…

Sorry everyone, I’m kind of blank on actual topics to write so all I could do was bring you up to date on what’s going on from my end. I hope you have a great weekend otherwise and stay tuned to see what else I write 🙂

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Ok it’s official! I have a concussion! 😦 I have to say that it’s not the best feeling in the world…if you’re asking how I got it, I’ll tell you here in a little bit. But before I go into my story I have to give some information on a concussion. What’s a concussion? It’s a “traumatic brain injury (TBI) that may result in a bad headache, altered levels of alertness, or unconsciousness. It temporarily interferes with the way your brain works, and it can affect memory, judgment, reflexes, speech, balance, coordination, and sleep patterns.” (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001802/) Apparently, the symptoms can range from regular to severe and there have been cases that the person doesn’t even know they have a concussion. Listed below are some symptoms:

Symptoms of a concussion can range from mild to severe. They can include:

  • Altered level of consciousness (drowsy, hard to arouse, or similar changes)
  • Confusion, feeling spacey, or not thinking straight
  • Headache
  • Loss of consciousness
  • Memory loss (amnesia) of events before the injury or immediately after
  • Nausea and vomiting
  • Seeing flashing lights
  • Feeling like you have “lost time”

The following are emergency symptoms of a concussion. Seek immediate medical care if there are:

  • Changes in alertness and consciousness
  • Convulsions (seizures)
  • Muscle weakness on one or both sides
  • Persistent confusion
  • Persistent unconsciousness (coma)
  • Repeated vomiting
  • Unequal pupils
  • Unusual eye movements
  • Walking problems

So there you have it! There’s some “concussion” facts for you 🙂 Now if you’re asking how I got the concussion, well I’ll tell you but don’t laugh at how I got it (just in case you’re wondering if I fell or something.)

So this past weekend my sister and I had this little retreat at a lake house. Involved a group of people and the lake house was absolutely wonderful! Their were two rooms designated with 6 bunks each, so the men were on one side of the house in one bunk room and the women on the other side of the house in their bunk room. Because of the circumstances, my sister and I arrived later than the rest of the group so our choice in which bunk we wanted was “taken away from us”. As you can guess my sister and I were left with the bottom bunks.

Now for those of you reading this and who know how I am, you know that I’m one heck of a deep sleeper and that I’m also a peaceful sleeper. What I mean by peaceful sleeper is that I don’t move around and usually the position I go to sleep in is the position I’ll wake up in. Another thing, I don’t jerk awake or wake up abruptly compared to others; I wake up slowly or I’ll make sure to open my eyes first before physically getting up to make sure and orient myself. And yes I’m that organized when I wake up. So now knowing this of me, you’ll see how funny yet odd it is of how I gave myself a concussion.

Sunday early morning, I apparently jerked awake for no reason and in doing so I literally popped up in the bottom hunk bed like that game, “wake up daddy”! Popped up and I know I hit something, which would be one of the support bars underneath the bunk above mine. I don’t remember anything after or for how long I was “asleep”/”unconscious” for. But by 6:30 I was awakened to go run. When I woke up I had a huge pain in the back of my head and I couldn’t for the life of me know why. I had thought that hitting myself earlier in the morning was a dream! So I went running anyway! I know dumb but what would you have done!?! Besides while I was walking all the pressure and pain went away…it didn’t come back till about an hr or two after I showered. Then the pain was there the rest of the day.

I had taken some advil once getting home because I though I might’ve had something more sever than a headache but I wasn’t going to say anything until I further monitored my symptoms since at that time it was only a headache pain in my head-even though it wasn’t really a headache. We celebrated my dads birthday (since it was on Sunday the 10th) and I apparently slept for a while during the celebration at my grandparents house. I was woken up and found myself with sever nausea and dizziness, symptoms I didn’t have before and I was also unable to focus! I had to have my sister repeat things to me or at least what ever she was saying because I just couldn’t process it! I went to sleep and awaited for anything else that night…

Monday arrived and more symptoms followed along with what I already had and the massive head pain. Drove myself to work which yes I know was also dumb especially with my nausea and dizziness. The light at work was bothering me and also that of the monitor so I decided to go ask the guys in the office that I knew used to play football. Talked to them about what happened and they all said for me to go to the doctor. Well my doctor said that it was too sever to wait for an Appt and that I would need a CAT scan. So I ended up going to the ER on Monday. And it was affirmed that I had given myself a concussion.

Tuesday and I wasn’t happy with the symptoms and the meds the ER had prescribed me. So I made an Appt with my doctor (who not only knew my entire medical history but who was an athletic individual as I am, and who I’d trust her decision since she still played sports) and she confirmed that I’d apparently hit myself hard enough to give myself a concussion. She said that depending on the amount of symptoms an individual has that’s how severe they hit themselves!

So because of doctor’s orders along with my bosses at work, I’m basically confined to my home all week to sleep and rest. I’m not really sure why I’m supposed to sleep a lot but I guess that’s because of my brain and the force in which it was hit…who knows.

So any of you ever had a concussion? How long did it take for you to go back to normal? Or for your symptoms to go away? Any tricks or advice that you can give me during this time?

Yours truly,
A Young Adult

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Sunday, July 10, 2011

Well it was a pretty great weekend all together, but something is definitely wrong with me, because this head pain just won’t go away!…I’ll have to just deal with it later though because today is my dad’s birthday! 🙂 celebrating it with the family so…I’ll have to just talk to you later!

Hopefully all of you had a great weekend!

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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What’s Your Personality Type?

So I was given a class assignment and it pertained to knowing what my personality type is like. I took tests online (which will be posted below) which in turn gave me results on how my personality is like. Before we can continue though, how do you define personality? Many have a misconceptions of how to use the term personality and the easiest way personality is used to explain someone is based on their: longevity, consistency, and distinctiveness. Personality means, “an individuals unique constellation of consistent behavioral traits.” So here are my brief results; I did get an in depth summary but I’m not posting mine entirely…

Your Type is
INFJ

Introverted

Intuitive

Feeling

Judging

Strength of the preferences %

11

50

25

67

Qualitative analysis of your type formula

You are:

  • slightly expressed introvert
  • moderately expressed intuitive personality
  • moderately expressed feeling personality
  • distinctively expressed judging personality

Now it’s your turn to take the test. What “type” of person are you?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

The Myers Briggs model of personality is based on four preferences:

  • E or I (Extraversion or Introversion)
  • S or N (Sensing or iNtuition)
  • T or F (Thinking or Feeling)
  • J or P (Judgment or Perception)

You combine the preferences to give your Myers Briggs personality type. Eg: having preferences for E and S and T and J gives a personality type of ESTJ. There are sixteen Myers Briggs personality types.

A frequently used analogy is handedness – where you have a preference for one hand but use them both. Similarly, you have all eight facets in your Myers Briggs personality profile. Whilst your personality type indicates that you have a preference for some of them, you nevertheless use all of them.

The four preferences in more detail

Where, primarily, do you prefer to direct your energy?

If you prefer to direct your energy to deal with people, things, situations, or “the outer world”, then your preference is for Extraversion. This is denoted by the letter “E”.

If you prefer to direct your energy to deal with ideas, information, explanations or beliefs, or “the inner world”, then your preference is for Introversion. This is denoted by the letter “I”.

How do you prefer to process information?

If you prefer to deal with facts, what you know, to have clarity, or to describe what you see, then your preference is for Sensing. This is denoted by the letter “S”.

If you prefer to deal with ideas, look into the unknown, to generate new possi2bilities or to anticipate what isn’t obvious, then your preference is for Intuition. This is denoted by the letter “N” (the letter I has already been used for Introversion).

How do you prefer to make decisions?

If you prefer to decide on the basis of objective logic, using an analytic and detached approach, then your preference is for Thinking. This is denoted by the letter “T”.

If you prefer to decide using values and/or personal beliefs, on the basis of what you believe is important or what you or others care about, then your preference is for Feeling. This is denoted by the letter “F”.

How do you prefer to organise your life?

If you prefer your life to be planned, stable and organised then your preference is for Judging (not to be confused with ‘Judgmental’, which is quite different). This is denoted by the letter “J”.

If you prefer to go with the flow, to maintain flexibility and respond to things as they arise, then your preference is for Perception. This is denoted by the letter “P”.

This test is a rip-off of the famous Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, however pretty accurate on it’s results.  It may not be as polished of a test as the MBTI, but hey, it’s free. Now, click this link to access the Jung Typology Test:
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

When you’ve finished the last test item, click the “score it” button at the bottom of the test page.  You will now see a page which indicates your Jung Typology Test results.  You’ll see “Your Type Is” and four letters below it (like ESTJ or INFP).  This is where you’ll see your strength preferences. Just below this you will see two links to type descriptions for your four letter type.  One type description is by David Keirsey, the other by Joe Butt.  Both are OK and will give you a basic description of your personality type. But click on the Joe Butt description.

Have fun and see what you’re results are! 😉

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Thursday, June 30, 2011

“I’ve learned that the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.”

Today is my grandparents anniversary (on my mom’s side). So many years together and yet it always amazes me how much love and emotions can be seen by the two individuals…I’m not sure what’s planned for them but hopefully something that involves everyone, because they’ve mentioned to us that all they ever need “is to see the entire family together.” Of course it’s in Spanish but you get that idea, or at least I hope you get the gist/idea of what they mean.

I have to say thought that I don’t know how my grandfather does it! Because I love my grandmother and respect her yet…she is one pill I can never swallow! Then again I should probably keep my mouth shut, since I have no clue how I’ll be when I get older. But it’s always entertaining to see their interactions…my grandfather is always watching over her, taking care of her, and even holding himself in check when she’s beyond wrong and out of place. He’s one patient man with so much discipline.

The only reason why I chose this quote, especially today, is due to the fact that I’m noticing that every day that passes my grandparents seem to get quieter and quieter…The older generations will always have more knowledge, comprehension, and wisdom so it’s best to learn from them as well as hear all their stories before time runs out. All they really want is someone to listen to their stories because they want to share their experiences and knowledge just like we would…Wouldn’t you regret not asking or talking about a specific topic/subject with an older relative?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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What’s Your “Stroop” Effect?

So an assignment for class had me wanting to post this topic of the day. I think it’s a great example of how a person’s concentration is when doing a task, giving evidence to that fact that not everyone or more like hardly anyone can multi-task. This “effect involves the difficulty our brains have when it comes to blocking out irrelevant stimuli during the process of perception.  Specifically, when a visual stimulus (like a word) has two visual properties (1 = the word, 2 = the color of ink used to print the word), our brains often have difficulty separating out and disregarding the word when attempting to perceive only the ink color.”

The following are two “Stroop” tests that will require your attention so please make start them when your sure you’re not going to be doing anything else. So take a test and see what your results are 😉

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Important Notes on the NOVA Stroop Test Website:
After accessing the site linked below, you should see a ‘Stroop Test‘ graphic just to the left of an image of mountains.  Just to the right of the first paragraph of instructions, you should see a small rectangular box / button link marked ‘Go to the Stroop Test.’  After reading the instructions, click the ‘Go to the Stroop Test‘ box link.  On the next page, click on the link in white font marked ‘click here to begin.’  Following this, you will be provided with a pre-test demo.

To initiate the test, the instructions note to press the ‘return key.’  Just to be clear, the ‘return key’ is the same as the ‘enter key’ (‘return key’ is an older term that some do not recognize now).  Then use the left and right arrow keys to select the answer choice.  You will also use the ‘return key’ and left – right arrow keys when taking the actual timed tests.

This site requires the Shockwave plug-in.  If you don’t have it, the site directs you on how to get Shockwave.  Also, if you do have to download Shockwave, you may need to restart your computer before accessing the demonstration on the site.

Link to the NOVA Stroop Test:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/everest/exposure/stroopintro.html

Alternative Link to the NOVA Version of the Stroop Test:
http://www.snre.umich.edu/eplab/demos/st0/stroopdesc.html

Stroop Effect Interactive Test

Access the site linked below.  Click on the instructions page link and take a moment to read about the test.  Carefully follow the directions.

When you’re ready to start, simply click your cursor in the box to the right of the phrase “Try the experiment:” and the demonstration will begin.

Use the Color to Key codes to indicate the color of the font in which the word is presented.

For example if BLUE appears, press the ‘b’ key on your keyboard as fast as you can as the font color is blue.

If GREEN appears, press the ‘r’ key as fast as you can as the font color is red.

Press the space bar to start the actual demo.

If you miss a color, the program will retest you on that match later in the demo.

When you finish the demo, click the “view results” link in the box above.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

“I’ve learned that no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend/s to be goofy with. It brings you back down to earth again.”

I like this quote…and if you think about it, it’s true. When your busy with anything outside of your personal life and sometimes even that itself, you’d want to escape that reality for a moment. You’d seek something or someone to give you the best distraction/peace of mind/liberation from your “busy time.” If your family oriented,sometimes you seek a family whose goofy enough to make you laugh and erase your troubles, but sometimes family just doesn’t cut it, and you seek that friend who you know “knows how to have a good time.” Now that statement means a variety of things to different people so your own interpretation and assumption should be implemented here because everyone’s idea of “fun” is not the same…SO!! 🙂 How many friends do you have? How many acquaintances do you have? Out of everyone you know (excluding family members) who do you trust the most? Who would you call/talk to in your time of need? Is there a friend that has or would be always able to stand by your side?…The theory is, that your most trusted and actual “friends” should be counted on one hand. There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of friends but the ones who are/should be important to you and that earn the label of “friend” are few. My next question to you is, how would you define a friend?

I have to apologize in advance because today’s post might be a little all over the place and may read as rambled thoughts…frankly I just had to “write” it out. And no not all details are disclosed but you will read the gist of what is relevant to today’s topic. Now back to the topic at hand!

From all the seriousness in the day, I like to unwind. The only reason why this is today’s topic is due to the fact of recent events for me…I’ve now seen my mom at her weakest…I come from a very family oriented background and parents are respected, loved, and should be admired-not just for their strengths and what they’ve accomplished in life, but also for the fact that their human and can make mistakes. Throughout my entire life I’d never seen my parents weak or feeble and in this past recent event/s with my mom, it was scary different to see her so fragile and weak, especially when all my life I’d seen her as a strong individual. It was also a twist to be taking care of her. Hispanic families are implemented with the understanding that parents raise and take care of their children, then in turn the children should take care of the parents. In today’s society not all hispanic’s carry out this belief but this is one I believe in and will follow, I just never imagined it would be this soon..I’m not going to disclose her health issues but I will say that it’s fear for her well-being and that of her family (not being able to take care of the three of us-my dad, sister, and I) that has my mother worried for getting worse. The pains returned, pressure spiked, and anxiety mixed with fear kicked in. She was scared to go to sleep…Ironically I had to take care of my online classes so I wasn’t asleep and wasn’t going to be going to sleep early…I calmly told my dad to leave the room and that she’d be fine. My dad’s a tough man but the look he gave me that night was the most trusting look I’d ever been given. So he left and it was just me and my mom. I had to ease her so she would sleep and I’d never felt my “heart breaking” as it did that night when she closed her eyes to sleep and tears slid down her cheeks. That was the first time I’d ever coddled someone. I stayed calm, cool, and “medical” (distant from the patient basically). Before leaving the bedside, I stayed looking at her for a little bit and I couldn’t help but silently break down…All I could think of was how the roles were reversed; all the times I was sick and she’d watch over me and now it seemed like the tables had turned. I know there are things in life you can’t control but I’d also never felt so helpless as I did that night. I wanted to help her but didn’t know how…so I left her to sleep.

Have you ever had a moment where you’re wanting to break down but you know you can’t or that you want to fix something for someone/take away whatever it is that’s affecting them but you can’t?

So I was up for a while, ironically doing homework for my class so “everything happens for a reason” played a part that night. My dad was up with me and he looked still a little out of sorts but he looked eased, since my mom was sleeping peacefully finally. Into the morning and she seemed to be doing well…I’d finished my classwork so it was time for bed. Thinking that things might improve, only to go through the same incident the following night once again…Have you ever had a moment in life where you’re emotional detachment helps those around you? You can be a very emotional person yet obtain emotional intelligence to the extent that depending on the circumstances you can flip a switch and think logically instead of emotionally.

Hence today’s topic! Going to a family member after something like this would probably just annoy me. They’d give me the pat/hug/warm eyes and say “everything will be ok.” Frankly I can administer that to myself and that’s not what I need after what I was feeling internally. Family members would give me understanding and empathy but for me that’s not what I need…I need that “fun”/goofy distraction which a friend can provide. So, what do you need after an emotional internal battle? Would you go to the family/family member or seek a more livening distraction from a friend?

I’ve found an interesting article pertaining to a “true friend” and thought you might like to read it, so just keep reading…

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

What Makes A True Friend

Why it takes courage to be a good friend
The Japanese have a term, kenzoku, which translated literally means “family.” The connotation suggests a bond between people who’ve made a similar commitment and who possibly therefore share a similar destiny. It implies the presence of the deepest connection of friendship, of lives lived as comrades from the distant past.Many of us have people in our lives with whom we feel the bond described by the word kenzoku. They may be family members, a mother, a brother, a daughter, a cousin. Or a friend from grammar school with whom we haven’t talked in decades. Time and distance do nothing to diminish the bond we have with these kinds of friends.The question then arises: why do we have the kind of chemistry encapsulated by the word kenzoku with only a few people we know and not scores of others? The closer we look for the answer the more elusive it becomes. It may not in fact be possible to know, but the characteristics that define a kenzoku relationship most certainly are.

WHAT DRAWS PEOPLE TOGETHER AS FRIENDS?

  1. Common interests. This probably ties us closer to our friends than many would like to admit. When our interests diverge and we can find nothing to enjoy jointly, time spent together tends to rapidly diminish. Not that we can’t still care deeply about friends with whom we no longer share common interests, but it’s probably uncommon for such friends to interact on a regular basis.
  2. History.  Nothing ties people together, even people with little in common, than having gone through the same difficult experience. As the sole glue to keep friendships whole in the long run, however, it often dries, cracks, and ultimately fails.
  3. Common values. Though not necessarily enough to create a friendship, if values are too divergent, it’s difficult for a friendship to thrive.
  4. Equality. If one friend needs the support of the other on a consistent basis such that the person depended upon receives no benefit other than the opportunity to support and encourage, while the relationship may be significant and valuable, it can’t be said to define a true friendship.

WHAT MAKES A FRIEND WORTHY OF THE NAME?

  1. A commitment to your happiness. A true friend is consistently willing to put your happiness before your friendship. It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear,” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear, something that may even risk fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest. A true friend will not lack the mercy to correct you when you’re wrong. A true friend will confront you with your drinking problem as quickly as inform you about a malignant-looking skin lesion on your back that you can’t see yourself.
  2. Not asking you to place the friendship before your principles. A true friend won’t ask you to compromise your principles in the name of your friendship or anything else. Ever.
  3. A good influence. A true friend inspires you to live up to your best potential, not to indulge your basest drives.

Of course, we may have friends who fit all these criteria and still don’t quite feel kenzoku. There still seems to be an extra factor, an attraction similar to that which draws people together romantically, that cements friends together irrevocably, often immediately, for no reason either person can identify. But when you find these people, these kenzoku, they’re like priceless gems. They’re like finding home.

HOW TO ATTRACT TRUE FRIENDS

This one is easy, at least on paper: become a true friend yourself. One of my favorite quotations comes from Gandhi: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” Be the friend you want to have. We all tend to attract people into our lives whose character mirrors our own. You don’t have to make yourself into what you think others would find attractive. No matter what your areas of interest, others share them somewhere. Simply make yourself a big target. Join social clubs organized around activities you enjoy. Leverage the Internet to find people of like mind. Take action.

As I thought about it, there are four people in my life I consider kenzoku. How many do you

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201002/what-makes-true-friend

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All the so-called “secrets of success” will not work unless you do.

Good Morning Everyone! Happy Tuesday!

In all honesty I’m not really as chipper today as my “good morning” sounds but that’s besides the point! How is everyone doing today? 🙂 It’s amazing how fast time is going by…literally by the end of this week we’ll already be in July. Anyone have any big fourth of July plans? (Sorry I don’t remember if I already asked that question.) Or if you have any good ideas as to what to do, by all means share.

So I know I’ve gone off before on how the newer generations seem to be getting lazier, then of course there was that other post about superficial knowledge due to dependence on technology, and now the topic is lazy people, or people who don’t carry their own weight in the workplace. I can’t seem to understand how a person can expect things to be given to them, especially in the workplace. How can someone fathom that they deserve “vacation time” or a “raise” when they have neither earned it nor surpassed the quota in order for them to be rewarded for their success. If you’re wondering what this topic is relevant to, then allow me to answer!

First off, even if I’m young (but mentally older/mature) that doesn’t mean I’m stupid and it also doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m naive. Now if I act stupid or naive, that’s another story, because let’s be honest, we’ve all done it before! I have always been and continue to be a hard worker for everything I want in life. So my hackles go up when someone views me otherwise or when individuals I associate with feel that life should always pat them on the back and give them “treats” from time to time. If that’s how the world worked then I’m sure everyone would be a lot happier!

Yes I’m family oriented and for my age, still living at home, but I should not be stereotyped as an individual who’s a “spoiled daddy’s girl who doesn’t know what hard work is.” I can honestly say, that if anyone had the guts to say that to my face, their asking to be punched! Maybe I should add in there “she said sweetly;” I don’t think it would help much though 😀 Just because I live at home doesn’t mean I don’t value my own independence or am not working hard to achieve that as well as accomplish all my ambitions in life. Do I have my moments where I can be “daddy’s little girl?” Of course! And that’s my privilege as a younger daughter who has a close relationship with her father. But the key word for those moments would be “at times!” To not go overboard or overuse that privilege.

So I’m going to interject here with defining “independence” because I think everyone has a misconception on this, then again this is just my blunt opinion on the matter… According to Webster’s Dictionary independence is defined as “freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like of others. Now please bear that in mind as we define individuality; “the particular character, or aggregate of qualities, that distinguishes one person or thing from others; sole and personal nature.” Do you see where I’m getting at or can you distinguish the difference here? Well allow me to enlighten you if you don’t because it flabbergasts me when people in society use these terms. When a person says their independent they better be living on their own, with their own bills, with their own car (or paying for their own car), without the help or assistance from mommy and daddy. Unless their living with their family and still contributing a good sum to their “independence” (another wards, bills towards their living in the household) then that’s another story in general and that individual IS gaining their independence. Personally, if your living at home with your folks and their paying for a good bulk of your luxuries while you still pocket/use/save your own income then I’m sorry to say, you’re not independent. The only thing you have at that point would be individuality, NOT independence.

So where do you put yourself? I know I used to confuse the two but as the years go by, it’s becoming more and more clear to me the difference between actually being independent and gaining independence.   So Independent or not? I found some interestingly true facts about “keeping you job and excelling in the workplace” so check it out below.

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Here are 57 ways to make yourself indispensable work:

  1. Get involved with training and development
  2. Find inefficiencies and redundant tasks and eliminate them
  3. Offer to help with the recruiting process
  4. Help other employees to be productive
  5. Uncover ways to increase revenue with existing clients
  6. Acquire new customers
  7. Discover new markets and channels for your company’s product/service
  8. Present ideas on how to decrease costs
  9. Improve workplace communication and workflow by introducing new technologies
  10. Always take the opportunity to impress your boss
  11. Volunteer when tasks need to be completed
  12. Automate your mundane tasks
  13. Learn to delegate and outsource jobs
  14. Focus primarily on your strengths
  15. Ask about professional development opportunities to work on your weaknesses
  16. Push yourself beyond your comfort zone
  17. Do more than is expected of you
  18. Invite constructive criticism
  19. Challenge yourself to learn more about the business and how you would run it as the owner
  20. Review your company’s goals and your job description, and analyze if your work is achieving those goals
  21. Create a list of no more than 3 things that must be accomplished every day, and primarily focus on those ultimate goals
  22. Broaden your internal contacts and relationships by participating in committees and important decision making discussions
  23. Support your boss
  24. Have honest discussions with your boss about your goals and ask for their support
  25. Set the bar high enough that it keeps you challenged and motivated, but realistic
  26. At all times, carefully select the words you use and write clear, concise emails
  27. Don’t worry about pointing fingers. Be a problem solver
  28. Be prepared to drop everything to help put out fires
  29. Work for the benefit of the team
  30. Be aware of how your actions reflect on your boss
  31. Realize you set the standard expectations for your subordinates
  32. Invest in yourself and always be “presentable”
  33. Try to work things out with your boss before going over their head
  34. Don’t take business personally – it’s just a job
  35. Realize that other people do take business personally and sometimes you have to treat it like high school
  36. Think of yourself as representing the company
  37. Have respect for employees, regardless of what you think of them personally
  38. Reward your colleagues for good behavior, even with just a “thank you”
  39. Think about how to work smart not working hard
  40. Use the tools you have to leverage your work. How can you get more done with less effort and less time?
  41. Turn bad situations into positive experiences. Every challenge is an opportunity
  42. Make yourself indispensable. Become so vital to the company’s success that they cannot afford to lose you
  43. Don’t complain, but stand up for what is fair. Pick your battles carefully
  44. Stay busy and ask where you can help during slow periods
  45. Be visible by becoming the person that accomplished X
  46. Keep your attitude in check. Your high moral can positively effect the team
  47. Remain optimistic for the future and the opportunity that it presents
  48. Earn job security by having options. Companies hate losing good employees to competitors
  49. Work on personally branding and what you represent as an employee
  50. Don’t be afraid to use your creativity and take calculated risk
  51. Be a good “corporate citizen”
  52. Instill a competitive environment
  53. Position yourself as the “go-to” guy
  54. Make things happen
  55. Maintain a positive attitude
  56. Have fun
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Maturity and Immaturity

A good guy friend of mine and I were texting the other day and we were having a random conversation when I made a comment and his response was,

“where do you get this stuff, none of my friends say anything like you do or have the mindset you do.”

My response was “that’s because their mentality isn’t as ‘old’ as mine genius.”

“You’ve always been much more mentally old. Kind of makes me think of those little girls who try to act so mature and older when they actually very young. I’m just like stop trying to act Mature and old your NOT!”

“Thanks for making me feel old and segregated!! But that’s true because even in high school remember, I was always ‘soccermom’. Although is that what you’re thinking about me? That I need to stop acting mature/older because I’m not?”

“NO! My comment was only pertaining to little girls.”

Him and I have been friends for about seven years now and we’re pretty bluntly honest with each other, but I couldn’t help feeling his comments on “maturity” irk me. What’s more, he’s not the only one whose made a comment like that. My sister has mentioned a few times about how “your trying to hard.” …So I started doing some reminiscing. Ok I know I’ve said it before and I might sound vain, but I really don’t have any other way of saying it aside from, I have a strong/stubborn/ambitious character. I was always acting older since I can remember…actually I remember significantly when things started turning to an “older” state. It all started, when I started pre-k. Throughout all my years in school (elementary, middle, junior high, and even high school) I was usually placed in a “leader/superior/overseeing” role in which I ended up either looking after someone/group or I’d put people in their place when they needed it. How it happened I don’t remember but things just continued to shift, mold, and continue. Junior high while everyone was excited about graduating I was already thinking about what classes I wanted to take my freshman year…when girls in high school were concerned or more in tune with who was going out with who or sports, I was busy with actually paying attention to class and trying to get ahead. I wasn’t some book worm (even if I did and still do like to read) I just didn’t want to waste valuable time in what was forming my future. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed everything about my high school years but after freshman year I was always known as “soccermom” because I was always taking care of others, and the age group didn’t matter. Which was shocking then as it is now, because most see me as a cold and detached person…I don’t try to act older and if that happens I try to internally keep an eye on it…hmm, anyway! Sorry I’m deterring away from the actual topic. I will ask this though, before moving on that is- is it so bad to be mentally older than your literal age?

So how mature are you?

I continually ask myself that question with every new difficult event/task that comes up…how you resolve or take care of a situation is how a person’s maturity level is defined. If an individual is still stuck in the mentality of high school, it will show. So I’m asking you, how mature are you? It’s of course been said that females mature faster than males however, by the looks of the newer generation of women; I’d have to say that that isn’t necessarily true. But who am I to say, right?

Just for the record, just because a person is mature doesn’t mean that they don’t enjoy themselves or want a night out on the town either, to have fun. NO ONE should categorize “mature” with dull or boring!

Well I found some interesting information on “Levels of Maturity” and thought/wanted to share it with you. So make sure to scroll down and continue reading if your interested 🙂

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

Human Relations Contributors

Chris Argyris

The fact that bureaucratic/ pyramidal values still dominate most organizations, according to Argyris, has produced many of our current organizational problems.

While at Yale, he examined industrial organizations to determine what effect management practices have had on individual behavior and personal growth within the work environment.

Personality changes

According to Argyris, seven changes should take place in the personality of individuals if they are to develop into mature people over the years.

  • First, individuals move from a passive state as infants to a state of increasing activity as adults.
  • Second, individuals develop from a state of dependency upon others as infants to a state of relative independence as adults.
  • Third, individuals behave in only a few ways as infants, but as adults they are capable of behaving in many ways.
  • Fourth, individuals have erratic, casual, and shallow interests as infants but develop deeper and stronger interests as adults.
  • Fifth, the time perspective of children is very short, involving only the present, but as they mature, their time perspective increases to include the past and the future.
  • Sixth, individuals as infants are subordinate to everyone, but they move to equal or superior positions with others as adults.
  • Seventh, as children, individuals lack an awareness of a “self,” but as adults they are not only aware of, but they are able to control “self.”

Argyris postulates that these changes reside on a continuum and that the “healthy” personality develops along the continuum from “immaturity” to “maturity.

These changes are only general tendencies, but they give some light on the matter of maturity. Norms of the individual’s culture and personality inhibit and limit maximum expression and growth of the adult, yet the tendency is to move toward the “maturity” end of the continuum with age.

Argyris would be the first to admit that few, if any, develop to full maturity.

http://www.accel-team.com/human_relations/hrels_06ii_argyris.html

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A Lady and Tom-boy

So here’s a topic that has always piqued my curiosity; a female having an equal balance of a lady and a tom-boy. I do mean literally an equal balance of both in the sense that, the female can dress to impress with the stylist dress/outfit, shoes, and accessories then dress down for a day in the park playing sports. What is so wrong with that? Guys what’s your take on this and come on ladies, don’t be quiet on this topic! Why this topic is even coming up you ask? (Even if you didn’t ask I’m still going to answer anyway :p) Well that’s all thanks to my dear older sister!

She claims I’m too aggressive, try to be to “one of the guys,” and a few other comments…I can’t help it if I know what I want when I go shopping and don’t want to dally around for another two to three hours at the mall just looking at clothes and shoes! Yes, I like to shop but I have my limits and am not like other women my age! Do I like accessories, hell yea if it looks good! Do I like to dress down? Yes and I don’t mind a good sweat working on the yard, cleaning, working out, or doing something physically exerting-and no it wasn’t meant as an innuendo so behave you “dirty minded” individuals :p Am I the type of gal who will choose tennis shoes before heels, yes but ask me if I like to primp up for the occasion, even if minor, and I’ll say hell yes! So ladies, where do you fall? Are you more tom-boy, lady, or in between?

It’s not my fault I’d rather be gardening/working out before even getting a mani! Believe me I love me my mani’s and pedi’s!

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Kids+Cell Phones= What is this world coming to?

I’m going to apologize in advance on this post because it really just gets to me and I have no other way of describing it! I’m also going to say that I know things are circumstantial but quite honestly when it comes to kids and them having cell phones, there’s nothing circumstantial about it! Before I being, where do you stand in regards to children (and by children I mean under the age of 16) having cell phones?

Now before any of my readers start getting hostile or defensive since I don’t believe that children should actually have cell phones, I understand that if you’re more away from your child then present a cell phone has it’s purpose; perhaps they’re at a friend’s house and you’d prefer them to have their own cell phone, that’s also understandable. Maybe their at a sports practice/school activity/school function and you’ve left them “on your own” so to speak, a cell phone is again understandable to give them. Again, I’m verbally stating that I know circumstances call for a child to have technology on hand. BUT, if you literally buy a cell phone for you “child” (again the operative word being child-under the age of 16) a cell phone to use daily or for any reason even if at home, I think you’ve just made a serious mistake. First off, when I mean “have” as stated above, I mean you’ve bought to cell phone for your child for generic purposes and they are free to use it daily, whenever , and where ever. When the child is at home, I don’t see why they’d have the need to use their cell phone when I’m sure their free to use the land-line at their house. Yes, there are cases where there are no house lines or like most people now a days, the cell phones are their main lines. Why, all I ask is why? Why would you give a child their own cell phone? As is I have heard from parents who give their children (again, under the ages of 16) cell phones “oh, I just can’t seem to get him off his cell phone,” or “he’s texting more to his friends then doing homework/studying/having family dinner time,” or  “I don’t know what to do, he just can’t seem to get off his phone,” or my favorite one of all- “I don’t know why he’s doing bad in school;” and you notice the child too busy on his cell phone.

Easy answer to all of those parent comments…take the phone away from them! Or if your going to give them a phone of any kind have it’s rules and boundaries with it: after a certain time no usage, when with family don’t use it, etc. In case you’re wondering if I have any children of my own, the answer is no. Now before you say “oh well you don’t understand because you don’t have any kids,” I have to say that’s a bunch melodramatic crap! I didn’t get my phone until senior year in high school! Oh yeah, I was not categorized as being “hip” or “cool” throughout junior high or most of the early years in high school, but I’m glad my parents didn’t succumb to society’s dictation of giving kids phones. I can openly admit, even in front of my parents, that if I had to go back through the years I would more than welcome their methods in parenting especially that of “fitting in with the crowd.” I strongly dislike, with a passion, when some mother’s/father’s say “his friends were making fun of him at school because he had such an old iPod/cell phone.” Yeah, that’s great, that’s a VERY valid reason to give a child (under the age of 16) a cell phone! (That was sarcasm for those of you who don’t know how to pick up on it.)

If I’m wrong in any way then please someone tell me or give me some insight to this whole kids (under the age of 16) having cell phone, because I’ve already admitted to things being circumstantial but what more than what I mentioned above is there? I’d love opinions and insight on this one. My apologies for any offense or if I have insulted anyone in any way. Please don’t leave my blog and not come back! Maybe I’ll just blame it on working late today and continuing a long day with night classes…Well regardless of all have a goodnight/good day. Hope to talk to you soon and again my sincerest apologies to anyone I have offended/upset. I’ve taken the liberty of posting the article in relation to this post, below. It was on the front page of yahoo.

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

P.S. You’d save money too on NOT giving them cell phones…but hey that’s just me!

Cell phones give parents the reassurance and added security of being able to keep in touch with their kids when they can’t be together. Several are designed expressly for young children, from preschoolers to ‘tweens. Some even track your kid’s whereabouts via GPS. Finding the one that’s right for your child depends on how old, tech-savvy, and responsible they are and whether you want them to talk, text, play games, or web surf.

We narrowed the dozen or so choices down to 3 cool, kid-friendly mobile phones — 1 for grade school-aged kids, 1 for even younger tikes, and 1 that teens and tweens will love. All 3 parent-approved mobile solutions stand up to the frenetic scheduling and communication needs of today’s busy young families, and they’re tough enough to take a few bumps and bruises along the way. So, is your little one is ready to make the leap? Are you? Dial into the details below and decide from there.

Firefly flyPhone
Price: Starts at $79.99
Buy it: Multimedia blitz
This translucent small sapphire cell packs almost all the bells and whistles that fancy smartphones for adults do. Expect your kid to drool over its built-in games, embedded camera, full-sized multicolor screen, and 1 killer feature that no other kiddie phone has — an “electro-luminescent morphing keypad” (huh?) that automatically switches between game controller, MP3 or video controller, and number pad. Nice!

Perfect for tweens and teens Obviously, this flashy mini-handheld is for older kids, probably tweens and early teens. (Firefly also makes a talk- and text-only glowPhone, pictured in pink above, for the younger set.) Does your big kid have the technical know-how, fine motor skills, drive, and attention span to keep up with flyPhone’s hundreds of preloaded digital music and video files, wallpapers, and ringtones? If they do, they can even create their own media with the included flyKicks PC software. No matter what, they’ll certainly enjoy rocking this phone (ideally, within the boundaries you set for them). Leave the rest to Firefly’s strict parental controls.

Room to grow 
When your big talkers want more games and music (they will), head over to Firefly’s website to stock up on (and pay for) more. Still not enough? Pick up a microSD card for your pint-sized smartphone addict, to stash up to 500 songs and loads of videos.

Affordable data/talk/text plan, subpar calls Our favorite feature? Unlimited talk and text for a modest $65 per month on a content-filtered and secure nationwide network. Our least favorite feature? Call quality that CNET says passes as merely “acceptable.”

Bonus A quick start guide, USB cable for charging, stereo headset, and a flyKicks CD are included with the purchase of the coolest, highest-specced kid phone on the market.

Just5
Price: Starts at $50
Buy it: Just5

Easy for kids in preschool through grade school Just5‘s incredibly simple features, sturdy body, and long battery life make it a smart choice for younger children. Its big, bright, clearly numbered buttons are child’s play to read and dial, and its oversized screen is super-easy to read. The calculator look-alike also comes equipped with a speaking keypad, which instantly confirms the numbers your child presses in a clear, reassuring mommy voice.

Built-in emergency alert system The feature parents love most? Just5’s embedded (and free!) emergency alert system. Preset it with up to 5 emergency contact phone numbers your child might not remember, including school, grandparents, and babysitters, plus your home, work, and cell digits.

To call for help, all your knee-high dialer has to do is press and hold the big, bright red SOS button on the back for 4 seconds. Doing so sets off a loud siren alarm designed to attract attention and hopefully, help. (Be sure to talk to kids about the button in advance to minimize false alarms.)

Automatic calls and texts for help When activated, the SOS button also immediately sends a text message that reads, “Help me. I’m in an emergency,” to each of your child’s preprogrammed contact numbers, continuously calling them until a real, live person (not voicemail) answers. Persistent little bugger! When the emergency call goes through, the phone automatically switches into speaker phone mode, allowing your child to talk hands-free.

Just5’s extra loud (hearing aid-optimized) handset is also ideal for seniors. Why not get one for Grandpa and Grandma, too?

Bonus Holy affordability! Just5’s least expensive calling plan rings up at just $3.33 per month, but that only gets your child a handful of minutes, which is all he’ll need to make an emergency call when it counts. Unlimited text and talk costs only $40 per month.

Kajeet Kids Samsung Seek
Price: $249.00
Buy it: Kajeet Kids Samsung Seek

Flashy features tweens and teens want
Kajeet puts 7 candy-colored, no contract cell phones in teenyboppers’ text-happy hands — slide-out QWERTY keyboard smartphones, super skinny digital zoom camera phones, and sleek flip phones included. Our top pick for tweens and teens is Kajeet’s flashiest cell, the Kids Samsung Seek. The trendy touchscreen-keyboard hybrid catapults your Generation Z kid into the mobile social networking jungle with 1-touch access toFacebookTwitter, and MySpace.

(They probably already have social media accounts anywayYou decide if they’ll access to them from their Seek … or at all.)

Other features your kid will eat up: a 1.3 megapixel integrated camera, a crisp, 2.6″ full color display, a microSD card slot (for storing 32GB of Bieberlicious pics and songs), and, of course, hands-free Bluetooth capability (For brand new drivers? Please, no!).

And of course the Seek includes games, apps, ringtones, and instant messaging. Will your almost-adult equally adore Kajeet’s encrypted parental controls, complete with the authority (and top-secret passwords) to view and restrict their every download, voice mail, contact, call, text, photo, video, and anything else they say, see, or surf from their Seek (or other Kajeet phone)? Probably not, but you certainly will, smart mamas and papas.
GPS tracking For an extra $7.99 month (depending on your specific plan), you can count on Kajeet’s web-based GPS Phone Locator service to tell you the exact location of your kid’s phone — and presumably your kid, too. Parents can schedule up to 5 Kajeet location tip-off email notifications a day and track the phone’s whereabouts online 24/7.

Pay-as-you-go plans Kajeet’s least expensive plan starts at $4.99 a month, but it only buys 10 skimpy airtime minutes, barely enough for emergency calls, and not much more. Lucky for your chatterbox, additional voice minutes and texts ring up at only 10¢ each. The $24.99 a month package buys 300 airtime minutes, with unlimited texts and use of the GPS tracking service. Not bad.

Still, we think Kajeet’s $19.99 per month bundle packs the best value, dishing out 150 voice minutes a month and unlimited OMG!-littered text messages. $50 a month buys it all — unlimited talk, text, picture messages, and more. Want more prepaid options? Kajeet’s got you covered. Whatever you choose, it’s a good idea to stock up on Kajeet Prepaid Wireless Airtime Cards, just in case.

No surprise bills (or calls) Kajeet’s pricing plans and strict content controls give parents full reign over who can or can’t call or text their kid’s cell phone, and the days and times the phone can or can’t be used. Plus, Kajeet’s online parental tool kit lets you completely control your child’s Kajeet phone usage and costs, online or via email, day or night. Watch out, kids! Ever heard of time-out? Kajeet lets parents set time-out blocks for when the phone can and can’t be used.

No strings attached
 With zero activation or early termination fees, and no contracts, it’s no biggie to cancel your Kajeet cell phone service at any time, minus the pricy penalties. Contract-free flexibility is a lifesaver, and a money-saver, should your teen try any Kajeet cell and not want to keep it. As if!

Set cell phone ground rules
Before you put that bright, shiny new cell phone in kids’ excited paws, take a moment to explain your expectations. Describe when it’s appropriate to use and exactly what they’re allowed to do with it (talk, text, and the like). You probably won’t want them to share it with friends, forget it on the playground, or eat or drink when they’re using it. If they’re really young, they won’t know unless you spell it out for them.

School policies
Check with your child’s teachers to find out what the student cell phone policy is. Some schools have a zero tolerance policy for electronics of any kind on campus, in backpacks, and in lockers.

Whichever kiddie phone you entrust your little ones with (if you do), teach them how to properly use and store it. You might want to consider taking insurance out on it. Before you know it, they’ll be teaching you how to use your next smartphone. Good luck!

Post by Kim Lachance Shandrow on Tecca

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/tech-savvy-moms-favorite-cell-phones-for-kids-2494882/

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Sunday, June 19, 2011 – Happy Father’s Day!

Father’s Day, in the United States, is a holiday (third Sunday in June) to honour fathers. Credit for originating the holiday is generally given to Sonora Smart Dodd of Spokane, Washington, whose father, a Civil War veteran, raised her and her five siblings after their mother died in childbirth. She is said to have had the idea in 1909 while listening to a sermon on Mother’s Day, which at the time was becoming established as a holiday. Local religious leaders supported the idea, and the first Father’s Day was celebrated on June 19, 1910, the month of the birthday of Dodd’s father. In 1924 President Calvin Coolidge gave his support to the observance, and in 1966 President Lyndon B. Johnson officially proclaimed it a national holiday. Observance on the third Sunday of June was decreed by law in 1972.

Although it was originally largely a religious holiday, Father’s Day has been commercialized with the sending of greeting cards and the giving of gifts. Some observe the custom of wearing a red rose to indicate that one’s father is living or a white rose to indicate that he is deceased. Other males—for example, grandfathers or uncles who have assumed parenting roles—are often also honoured on the day. Some Roman Catholics have continued to observe the feast day of Saint Joseph, on March 19, as a tribute to fathers.

http://www.history.com/topics/fathers-day

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Technology+You=Dummies?

There was a documentary on CNBC that premiered in January and was broadcasted again in March of this year. It’s focus was on technology and our cell phone usage. Dr. Gary Small mentioned in the episode, “One thing is certain about human nature…we’re born talkers. Our urge to communicate is universal. And now with modern technology we can meet anybody… anywhere… at anytime.”

I’ll confess to being a huge technology user and supporter. I was the type of user that my cell phone was literally attached to my body, at all times! Thankfully I realized this in time, even before viewing the documentary mentioned above, and made personal changes with the usage of my cell phone and with technology in general. In today’s society communication is endless and do you know how many text messages are being sent daily? Twelve billion and that’s worldwide! On top of that, even with our nation’s recent economic issues, purchases of technology and technological instruments/accessories/gadgets were and are still being purchased. So we need to ask ourselves if all this access to technology and evolutionary advancements, making our lives better.

That’s not to say that evolutionary technology isn’t helpful or needed, because that can be demonstrated in the medical and emergency fields. Without such hi-tech advancements we wouldn’t be as successful in treating patients, regardless of what their medical case is. However, something without supervision is harmful. Take alcohol for example, it’s technically not harmful until abused. The key being that everything in moderation isn’t and won’t be harmful. Our technical resources are astounding and continual expanding, I mean look at Google. But we can’t place all our emphasis on technology, because then we’d be shifting to superficial knowledge. Meaning, we’d care more about the expeditious result compared to the process, critical thinking, and our own opinion/analysis of the matter. We see it in our academic system as well. When I graduated junior high and even high school, critical thinking problems and solutions were essential, along with research, not only via the web but that of texts. Sadly texts are becoming extinct and Google is the number one resource for many. The younger generations are having a hard time processing difficult information because of such laziness that has been provided by technology. Of course technology can’t take full responsibility of this error, because parenting and individuals are responsible for actions not technology.

I support the on going process of humanity evolving and its science however, if losing personal communication, respect, and etiquette is to be our future (as it’s currently becoming) then I’d dread who our future presidents will be. Maybe our nation won’t be able to run itself unless someone Google’s “how to run a nation?”

What’s your take on the matter? Do you think technology’s advancements are more beneficial for our future or are they deteriorating what is to become of our future generations?

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Thursday, June 16, 2011

Afternoon Everyone!

It’s one of those days again…mind is racing with so many thoughts, I can literally feel it humming. Ideas here and there, thought roaming over there, plans to make and execute, things to do and finish, emotions are being tapped into, and then there’s a silent pounding…Ever had a day that your own mind provokes and causes you a headache? If not, lucky you and I don’t recommend it. For those of you who have, any personal remedies that you’d like to share?

Moving along! Hope your day is going well or went well for those of you in the other part of the world. Speaking of other parts of the world, anyone see the article about the riot in Vancouver? Then there’s the new issues in Greece, ongoing issues with Libyan and Syria, and let’s not leave out the thing closest to our nation’s borders-drug cartel…whatever your religious beliefs are or if you have any, I’d say now is a pretty good time to start praying or looking for peace. Let’s face it, our nation’s leaders have their own agenda and don’t seem to be doing a good job about it, so why not “us” the people of a nation who our government is supposed to represent anyway. Yea I know, wishful thinking! Still had to say it to get it off my chest because it’s still amazes me how people don’t know how much power they really have in politics…BUT that’s a story for another day.

So since my topics touch base in a variety of categories I’m going to break them up, otherwise today’s post would be one of my longest ones! If my ass-et gets numb/tired of sitting down or being in a position too long I’m sure yours does to, so I won’t do that to you 😉 Keep a look out for my next/upcoming posts.

Yours truly,

A Young Adult

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Thursday, June 9, 2011

And that’s way the cookie crumbles! Who saw the Mavericks game?!? For those of you who didn’t see it, there’s nothing wrong with still “tuning in.” It’s called, being a well-rounded person! Just saying…the real question now is, WILL THE MAVS get that championship this year?

Well I’m writing late for a change and if you ask why its pretty simple. ONLINE CLASSES! That and a movie 🙂 Yes that’s right I’m doing my class while a movie is in the background-just don’t ask me what’s actually going on with my class because I’m listening to The Dark Knight. So here’s my question for the night: Is there a specific place or something specific that you need in order to fully concentrate on a task? Examples being ambiance, people, noise, etc.

OH, that reminds me actually. I’ve been wanting to clarify something to my audience (and I honestly don’t remember if I’ve explained this). In case you wonder why I post anything on relationships or “reading people” type topics it’s because of my fascination with the human psyche/mindsets. And if you’re already asking yourself, “why is she even talking about this when no one cares?” Well someone asked me a question Tuesday night and it led me to wanting to clarify on here.

See, I believe that stereotypes don’t or at least shouldn’t exist because individuality provides the means of all things being circumstantial. Another wards, you can’t believe that EVERYONE will cheat on you just because one person did or that a certain ethnic group are known to be drunks when there are many in that same ethnicity who enjoy drinking but don’t get drunk. So since I’m in an academic and “writing mode” (also trying to work on my novel in the process) I’m going to leave you with this…below are four different statements that are controversial and intriguing statements, also known to not have an exact answer. I want you to tell me which you think rings true or that you believe/accept and why?

  • Humans are by nature selfish and self centered
  • Once the personality is developed (into adulthood), it cannot be changed. The adult personality is set and unchanging
  • People are responsible for their emotions, and therefore can control their emotional reactions to life events.
  • All human behaviors are learned. In humans, there are no innate, inborn behaviors.

I know I’m sorry I’m wanting you to think tonight, but oh well! 🙂

Well you all have a good night (day for others) and I’ll talk to you soon, especially considering I’m behind on topics and writing…

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Staying Fit! – Part 2

Eating Mistakes That Squash Workout Results

I’ve been the sports nutritionist for three professional teams and numerous athletes in my private practice, and whether you head to a 9-5 job each day and work out when you can, or you earn a living exercising, the right nutrition plan is the real key to results. Here are five mistakes that may interfere with getting the most out of your training time:

Drinking a Protein Shake Before a Workout
Protein is digested much slower than carbs, so too much pre-workout can give you stomach cramps and prevent the carbs you need for fuel from getting absorbed and becoming available to your working muscles.
The Fix: Reach for a smaller quantity of protein, along with slow burning carbs pre-workout, and choose higher protein shakes, snacks or meals afterwards.

Exercising on an Empty Stomach
It’s physiologically impossible to burn pure body fat – during aerobic exercise you burn a combo of carbs and fat. When carbs aren’t readily available, your body is forced to break down its own muscle mass and convert it into blood sugar. That means by skipping, you may end up eating away at your own muscle instead of building it!
The Fix: If you don’t like the feeling of food in your stomach when you exercise stick with a liquid, like a small smoothie made with unsweetened frozen fruit and organic skim or soy milk.

Overusing Energy Bars
Overusing them can cause you to “eat back” the calories you burned exercising, preventing you from seeing results. A lot of my non pro athlete clients grab a bar post workout and eat a meal a few hours later, which may be overload when you consider that many bars are the equivalent of a turkey sandwich – and most people wouldn’t eat a turkey sandwich, then sit down to chicken stir fry a few hours later.
The Fix: If you’re going to eat within an hour of the end of your workout skip the bar, or go for it and pare down the portions in your next meal.

Not Eating Enough “Good” Fat
Every cell in the human body is partially made out of fat, including muscle, so “good” fat is needed to heal and repair post workout – without it you can stay sore and fail to see an improvement in strength and muscle tone.
The Fix: Include small portions of foods like extra virgin olive oil, avocado and almonds at every meal, and be sure to include a daily source of omega3 fatty acids.

Buying Into the Afterburn Myth
While it’s true that you will torch more calories in the hours after a workout, for most women it amounts to just an additional 50 calories burned, not enough to sanction a splurge (note: a medium original Pinkberry = 230 calories).
The Fix: My general rule of thumb: the 50/50 principle – if you’re trying to trim down you can afford to add about half the calories you burn to your usual intake, preferably about 50% before to help fuel the activity, and half after, for recovery. For example, an hour on the elliptical burns about 500 calories (for 150 pound person), which means you can safely “spend” an extra 125 cals both before and after hitting the gym – that’s the amount in about one slice of whole grain bread spread with one tablespoon natural peanut butter before, and a half cup each nonfat Greek yogurt and sliced strawberries topped with a tablespoon of sliced almonds after.

http://shine.yahoo.com/event/workingit/eating-mistakes-that-squash-workout-results-2488742/

The 5 Biggest Exercise Myths

Did you answer 3 and 10? Of course you did. It’s the Pavlovian response. After all, anyone who’s ever picked up a dumbbell knows that doing 3 sets of 10 reps of each exercise is the quickest way to build muscle.

Except it’s not. In fact, it’s the quickest way to get nowhere with your workout routine, says Michael Mejia, C.S.C.S., a long-time Men’s Health fitness advisor.

Truth is, today’s most sacred exercise guidelines originated in the ’40s and ’50s, a time when castration was a cutting-edge treatment for prostate cancer, and endurance exercise was thought to be harmful to women. Worse, so-called fitness experts across the country are still spewing these same old conventional wisdoms, despite plenty of research indicating that they (the experts and the wisdoms) aren’t wise at all.

Chances are, these are the rules you exercise by right now. And that means your workout is long past due for a 21st-century overhaul. We asked Mejia to do just that. Here are the five muscles myths he most commonly hears. Hopefully, we’re about to bust them for good.

BONUS TIP: Get back in shape—and stay lean for life! Check out our list of the 100 Best Fitness Tips Ever!

MYTH #1: DO 8 TO 12 REPETITIONS
The claim: It’s the optimal repetition range for building muscle.

The origin: In 1954, Ian MacQueen, M.D., an English surgeon and competitive bodybuilder, published a scientific paper in which he recommended a moderately high number of repetitions for muscle growth.

The truth: This approach places muscles under a medium amount of tension for a medium amount of time—it’s basically The Neither Here Nor There Workout.

Here’s the deal: Higher tension—a.k.a. heavier weights—induces the type of muscle growth in which the muscle fibers grow larger, leading to the best gains in strength; longer tension time, on the other hand, boosts muscle size by increasing the energy-producing structures around the fibers, improving muscular endurance. The classic prescription of 8 to 12 repetitions strikes a balance between the two. But by using that scheme all the time, you miss out on the greater tension levels that come with heavier weights and fewer repetitions, and the longer tension time achieved with lighter weights and higher repetitions.

The new standard: Vary your repetition range—adjusting the weights accordingly—so that you stimulate every type of muscle growth. Try this method for a month, performing three full-body sessions a week: Do five repetitions per set in your first workout, 10 reps per set in your second workout, and 15 per set in your third workout.

MYTH #2: DO 3 SETS OF EACH EXERCISE
The claim: This provides the ideal workload for achieving the fastest muscle gains.

The origin: In 1948, a physician named Thomas Delorme reported in the Archives of Physical Medicine that performing three sets of 10 repetitions was as effective at improving leg strength as 10 sets of 10 repetitions.

The truth: There’s nothing wrong with—or magical about—doing three sets. But the number of sets you perform shouldn’t be determined by a 50-year-old default recommendation. Here’s a rule of thumb: The more repetitions of an exercise you do, the fewer sets you should perform, and vice versa. This keeps the total number of reps you do of an exercise nearly equal, no matter how many repetitions make up each set.

The new standard: If you’re doing eight or more reps, keep it to three sets or less. If you’re pounding out less than three reps, you should be doing at least six sets.

BONUS TIP: When it comes to making lifestyle changes that will improve your health, your first step is the most important one. Start here: 20 Little Changes for a Healthier Life.

MYTH #3: DO 3 OR 4 EXERCISES PER MUSCLE GROUP
The claim: This ensures that you work all the fibers of the target muscle.

The origin: Arnold Schwarzenegger, circa 1966.

The truth: You’ll waste a lot of time. Here’s why: Schwarzenegger’s four-decade-old recommendation is almost always combined with “Do three sets of 8 to 12 repetitions.” That means you’ll complete up to 144 repetitions for each muscle group. Trouble is, if you can perform even close to 100 repetitions for any muscle group, you’re not working hard enough.

Think of it this way: The harder you train, the less time you’ll be able to sustain that level of effort. For example, many men can run for an hour if they jog slowly, but you’d be hard-pressed to find anyone who could do high-intensity sprints—without a major decrease in performance—for that period of time. And once performance starts to decline, you’ve achieved all the muscle-building benefits you can for that muscle group.

The new standard: Instead of focusing on the number of different exercises you do, shoot for a total number of repetitions between 25 and 50. That could mean five sets of five repetitions of one exercise (25 repetitions) or one set of 15 repetitions of two or three exercises (30 to 45 repetitions).

MYTH #4: NEVER LET YOUR KNEES GO PAST YOUR TOES
The claim: Allowing your knees to move too far forward during exercises such as the squat and lunge places dangerous shearing forces on your knee ligaments.

The origin: A 1978 study at Duke University found that keeping the lower leg as vertical as possible during the squat reduced shearing forces on the knee.

The truth: Leaning your torso too far forward, so that your knees stay back, is more likely to cause injury. In 2003, University of Memphis researchers confirmed that knee stress was 28 percent higher when the knees were allowed to move past the toes during the squat. But the researchers also found a countereffect: Hip stress increased nearly 1,000 percent when forward movement of the knee was restricted. The reason: The squatters had to lean their torsos farther forward. And that’s a problem, because forces that act on the hip are transferred to the lower back, a more frequent site of injury than the knees.

The new standard: Watch a toddler squat. Push your hips back as far as you can, while keeping your torso as upright as possible. This will reduce the stress on your back and knees.

MYTH #5: WHEN YOU LIFT WEIGHTS, DRAW IN YOUR ABS
The claim:You’ll increase the support to your spine, reducing the risk of back injuries.

The origin: In 1999, researchers in Australia found that some men with back pain had a slight delay in activating their transverse abdominis, a deep abdominal muscle that’s part of the musculature that maintains spine stability. As a result, many fitness professionals began instructing their clients to try to pull their belly buttons to their spines—which engages the transverse abdominis—as they performed exercises.

The truth: “The research was accurate, but the interpretation by many researchers and therapists wasn’t,” says Stuart McGill, Ph.D., author of Ultimate Back Fitness and Performance and widely recognized as the world’s top researcher on the spine. That’s because muscles work in teams to stabilize your spine, and the most valuable players change depending on the exercise, says McGill. Read: The transverse abdominis isn’t always the quarterback.

In fact, for any given exercise, your body automatically activates the muscles that are most needed for spine support. So focusing only on your transverse abdominis can overrecruit the wrong muscles and underrecruit the right ones. This not only increases injury risk, but reduces the amount of weight you can lift.

The new standard: If you want to give your back a supporting hand, simply “brace” your abs as if you were about to be punched in the gut, but don’t draw them in. “This activates all three layers of the abdominal wall,” says McGill, “improving both stability and performance.”

http://health.yahoo.net/experts/menshealth/5-biggest-exercise-myths

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Tuesday, June 7, 2011-Staying Fit!

Hello All!

Is it me or this week slowly progressing?!?…maybe it’s just me…

Well another season (summer that is) so that means that my workout regiment had to be changed up a bit. Especially now that I have my punching bag up! 🙂 Ladies, if you don’t like boxing/kickboxing then at least just do workouts that involve boxing maneuvers; I highly recommend it! I’d say that it works out every muscle you have…that’s probably why p90x has been so successful-it intertwines kickboxing maneuvers into the workout along with other movements. On top of that, the bag is a pretty great stress reducer. So what female WOULDN’T like it? Imagine the bag to be your ex or enemy…believe me you’ll feel a lot better :p Moving along though, because today’s post isn’t about my awesome punching bag! 😉

Here’s some facts I was able to find: http://www.ehow.com/about_6675738_kickboxing-good-workout_.html

Kickboxing provides a fast-paced, cardio-intensive, total body workout that tones flab and strengthens muscles. While enjoying fast-paced, upbeat music, you’ll be punching, kicking and jabbing your way to better health. You just might learn a little self-defense along the way.

  1. Class Format

    • Kickboxing combines boxing with martial arts. Instructors generally employ a series of punches, such as jabbing, upper-cuts and hooks mixed with round-house, push and side kicks moves. Performing these moves with intensity and accuracy, the entire body becomes strengthened. The arms and core–or abdominal—regions are targeted during punching. The legs and glutes are tightened through kicks, lunges and squats. The NutriStrategy Nutrition and Fitness website reports that you can burn 590 to 863 calories in a one-hour kickboxing workout.

    Considerations

    • While kickboxing is a good way to burn calories and get fit, it isn’t for the faint of heart. See a doctor before beginning a class. Working up to this type of workout may be necessary. Kickboxing classes require great endurance, but don’t let this intimidate you. Most instructors are cognitive of beginners and will offer suggestions to help you ease into the full workout.

    History

    • Kickboxing originated from the Thailand martial art of Muay Thai Boxing, dating back as far as the 1300s. The Japanese are credited with the invention of modern-day kickboxing as they blended Muay Thai with the martial art of Karate. However, kickboxing as a fitness alternative did not take hold until the early 1990s. The constant-motion class was developed to provide another option to aerobic exercise regimens.

    Misconceptions

    • Don’t let the name fool you. Kickboxing fitness classes should not be confused with the martial art of kickboxing. The fitness classes do not require any sparring or contact. You will not wear the traditional “gi” or earn belts. The classes do not guarantee that you will teach any self-defense. The moves you learn are primarily self-defense tactics, such as punching, kicking and blocking. However, the instructors are usually licensed for fitness, not martial arts.

    Benefits

    • Kickboxing for fitness can significantly reduce stress. The martial arts used in kickboxing require concentration and focus, which relieves frustration, while the kicks and punches loosen nerves and help release anger. Kickboxing also enhances coordination and balance. These are key to staying fit as you age. Since your body is in motion for about an hour, the heart benefits from a strong cardiovascular workout and your lung capacity increased through deep and heavy breathing. Kickboxing is an energizing way to effectively reach and maintain your weight goals.

    Getting Started

    • Check out a few classes to find the right one. Wear loose, comfortable clothing and tennis shoes. Cross-trainers work well for this type of program. Keep a towel handy and drink plenty of water. Staying hydrated is key to any successful workout. Kickboxing is a good way to tone your body and lead a healthier lifestyle.

With that said, I’ve switched up my workout routine and making sure I alternate the routine’s daily. First off, I’m making sure I only do it Monday to Friday, the only time I do it on the weekends is because I slacked off during the week or missed a workout day in general; because remember your body needs rest and if you don’t give your body sufficient rest time after workouts or breaks in between regimens/days then you could be doing your body more harm than good. My doctor, previous trainer, and nutritionist all said the same thing to me. So I run every other day, brisk walking only on other days, combined with jump rope, 20 minutes or more on the bag, then some standing core workouts, along with weights, arm workouts, and relaxing yoga/stretching at the end. All in all has your body aching at the end yet relaxed…the easier the regimen gets the more I end up working out or find another workout maneuver that will do the trick.

So what types of workouts do you do/want to do? Have any suggestions? Perhaps any thoughts on what’s been mentioned above?

To finish off today’s post, make sure to click on my continuation post “Staying Fit Part 2” to see the articles featured on yahoo. Pretty interesting reads and I’m going to have to do my own personal exploring on what the authors have written…Have a great day!/night!

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Saturday, June 4, 2011

Happy Saturday Everyone,
Hope your having a good weekend thus far. Doing anything fun tonight or have plans? 😉 If you dont then make some! And if you just want to stay home and chill, well that’s cool too! 🙂 Yesterday was my night out so today is my night for chilling…I’ll write later about last night.

So this week went by fast and a lot of things have occurred! But thats also something I’ll have to get into later. Well as I’ve already mentioned to you, today is my chilling day and earlier today I was finally fixing and assorting through all my pictures from my camera. Downloaded, edited, and staring to look back on all my pictures. Ok, sorry I’m going to have to interject here with a few comments. 1)I love my new camera and I definitely recommend the Nikon Coolpix touch screen camera. Works wonders and takes great pictures! 2)Any of you big on taking pictures of either events, certain occasions, any moment of the day, or where ever your at? The only reason why I ask I because of what I’m going to mention here in my post in a little bit. 3)Do you ever look back on pictures and remember the momenta so vividly that you can even remember smells, tastes, environments, etc?

Well I was working on some “nature” pictures I took along with some pictures I took when I went out last night. I started to philosophize on the types of pictures I take. An example being, when I have my camera on me (and even if I don’t, I just whip out my iPhone) and I notice a great moment in the day or great coloring of the sky, I take a picture. So any of you take random pictures of the day/surrounding?

Here’s some of the pics I’m talking about…one of them is a fav of mine because of combo of construction going on in the foreground with the beauty of mother nature in the background 🙂

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Yours truly,
Young Adult

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Afternoon Everyone!

Hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend holiday! Anyone have the day off from work? Didn’t have classes/go to school? And what did you end up doing?

From my end, I have to say that this past weekend was probably one of my favorites, regardless of everything else that was going on. A few mishaps/unpleasant moments, but altogether a pretty fun weekend. Honestly, Friday is a little hazy for me and NO that does not mean I consumed large amounts of alcohol, so don’t be making assumptions or misinterpreting my words. But before I officially start on today’s post I have to ask…did anyone see the Mavericks and Heat game last night? If you didn’t then let me tell you, you didn’t miss much. Wasn’t much of an exciting game and looked as if the Mavs weren’t even trying! So who are you going for? Mavs or Heat?

Back to this past weekend. Again Friday was hazy and for the life of me I can’t seem to recall what I did…Saturday was an early start for me. And if you’re wondering why I woke up early especially on a Saturday morning it’s because I knew I was going to have Monday off from work and I’d be able to sleep in then. SO, woke up to drive to AutoZone to buy a few things because I was going to detail my SUV. Took it to get washed and then worked on the inside. Drove back home so I could finish up all the outer details of the SUV and with the great weather we had that morning I wanted to take advantage. Every nook and cranny was cleaned and spotless. Then for the final touch of tire shine at the end, to give it that slick look! 🙂 Oh yeah, I was very proud after it was done. And for any of you “girly” readers, there is nothing wrong with a gal taking pride in maintaining her wheels! I’m a lady but like to get dirty as well and cleaning my SUV is one of the many things I do. Which brings me to my question of the day: Do you have a specific task or chore perhaps that gives you this sense of accomplishment or contentment?

The rest of the morning was spent doing some maintenance on the yard out back of the house, especially since my mother wasn’t allowed to do much, or more like we didn’t allow her to do much because of recent health events with her. So we did that for a while then finally off to shower and get ready for the rest of the day.

I’ll have to leave it there for now…talk to you soon

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Monday, May 23, 2011

Sorry everyone but I don’t think I’m going to elaborate on what’s been going on…needless to say that a family member is still in the hospital and it hasn’t gotten better…and no it’s not my grandfather…I think today though or at least this morning it’s finally struck home…having break down and pep talk myself…

Have you ever had a situation/event/circumstance that’s effected you so much that you have to be alone to “regroup” so that no one else knows how much its effecting you? Well if you ever have, I feel your pain and know that you’re not alone. And during that time make sure you DO regroup and take that time to re-energize yourself just in case you don’t want anyone else to know how much the situation effected you…

Your truly,

Young Adult

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Sunday, May 22, 2011

It’s amazing how life can change within a matter of seconds!…I’ve been to the emergency room before, whether it be for myself or another, but it’s different all around this time…

Take the time to pray for those ill, dying, and alone. No one should ever feel or be alone…

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Saturday, May 21, 2011

Hello everyone! Hope all is well and that you’re weekend has started off well. For those of you in the Big-D area, are you aware of the Jimmy Buffit concert today at the Pizza Hut Park? My family and I passed through that area and noticed all the traffic and caravans of people attending the concert. Tent’s were up, smokers and bar-b-q grills were up and running, and crowds of people were walking; literally looked at aunts walking through the land towards the aunt hills (big tents where food was). Pretty interesting to see.

Well if you’re wondering why my family and I passed through, it’s because we were meeting up with my uncles dad (my mom’s sisters husband’s father). Yea, we’re a pretty warm family, if any of you can understand…ANYWAY! So we were going to have breakfast with him. He’s an adorable old man and we’ve taken to him as if he wasn’t an “add on” per say. The food was delish and of course I had my eggs, even though it was already lunch time. Allow me to deter for a minute here; I’m a huge breakfast person and by that I mean that I can have breakfast food at any time of the day especially eggs. SO, I had me some eggs, carna asada, beans, chips, salsa, and corn tortillas! 🙂 If you’re mouth isn’t watering then there’s something wrong with you, unless of course you don’t like Mexican food, then I guess it’s ok. It was an enjoyable time eating and making conversation but the really interesting part was when my uncles dad started telling us about some of his younger year stories. It still amazes me how much time has passed from when him and both sets of grandparents relay their stories to me and my fam…

The only reason I even brought this up was because I started to realize that the time frame in which this man lived was during the nation’s most fragile time or more like how it grew to have Texas. His stories coincided with the states succeeding from the union and how U.S. took Texas from Mexico and so forth. Can you imagine living in that time? If I made a novel from their stories I think it would sell because it comes from a different perspective than most stories and it wouldn’t be completely on the nation but on how a person wanted to make something of himself, and that’s why he moved to the United States…actually according to his story it all started because of a woman!

Let’s see if any of you know: When did the United States gain their independence and become a nation?

Before I leave you, because I have to go and get ready for a Quincenera that’s tonight, if you have grandparents that are alive and well, don’t ignore them and cherish your time with them. You’d be amazed how much even just five minutes goes for them…and ask them about when they were younger, dating, school, etc you’d also be amazed how they relate to you during the time periods/age similar to yours. I know it might seem like they’re annoying or that they’d “slow you down” but frankly, ask yourself how would YOU liked to be treated when you’re that age? Would you want to be ignored, casted aside, or perhaps belittled because your stories are boring and have no correlation to what you want to talk about?…Or please someone tell me if they have a different view/opinion on what I’ve mentioned…

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Friday, May 20, 2011

Afternoon everyone! How’s life where ever you’re at? It’s gloomy here in Texas but today has been a pretty great day all around…Hope you had a pleasant week and are happy that today is FRIDAY! 🙂 Anyone have any big plans this weekend? Perhaps a wedding, birthday party, or perhaps a date? If you’ve had a bad week or day, remember that don’t let something bring you down, but plan something enjoyable that will take your mind off the bad day/week. Well I have a quince to go to tomorrow and a birthday party on Sunday; there’s more in between but I’ll just have to elaborate on that later, but needless to say that it’s going to be a full weekend for me this weekend 🙂 I’m glad!

So I’m here at work hearing the storm roaring outside the office building…hearing the different variations of sounds as the rain hits something different. Rooftops, vehicles, the ground, windows, and trees…I love storms. There’s something about them that just takes my breath away, almost like a high or an adrenaline rush of a different kind. It’s a beautiful yet fearful natural phenomena that occurs. I couldn’t even really begin to describe what it does to me. But as the rain continues to beat down I think of this personal favorite melody of mine…of course I youtube so that the melody can coincide with the rainfall outside. Let me know what you think or if you like it. Personally, I think it’s a very expressive melody leaving a person with so many emotions that they can’t control. 

Are there any “shoppers” out there? Or anyone that likes to shop for occasions of necessities? Or are their any shopaholics that are reading this? Before I continue with my topic I have to ask: 1)What are some of your favorite stores? 2)Do you have any specific times that you like to shop? 3)Do you have any shopping routines you’d like to share? 3) What’s a shopaholic? Would you consider yourself a shopaholic? And 4)Do you like to window shop? Some of my fav’s are Marshal’s, Soma Intimates (and no they aren’t just a PJ store, VS , Macy’s, Forever 21, Sam Moon, and I have to admit that sometimes Wal-Mart has some pretty great stuff.

I like to think I have a balanced dosage of “prissy/class/high maintenance” and a tomboy side (for specific reasons). I was never one to openly say “let’s go shopping” and still currently not on the top of my to do list. However, as of late it seems I’ve gone over to the “dark side” (as my family likes to say.) You see I used to say that I wouldn’t dress to impress, or waste my time on fashion-meaning make an occasion to go to the mall for a new top because I needed one to go with a pair of jeans and so forth, go shoe crazy as most women do, or invest on makeup or purses. Well times have changed and it seems I opened my big mouth too soon when I was still in high school. Words of wisdom to anyone-take care to what you say because it can always come back and bite you in the ass-et!

Well I’m starting to care what I look like when I go out and I blame that on being more self aware of my body-if you ask why am I more aware of my body, it’s because I’ve changed up and created a new summer workout and this one seems more effective than many others I’ve done-hence the being more aware of my body due to some soreness in certain areas. But regardless that’s neither here nor there. The fact is I’ve gone over to the dark side because I’ve actually been shopping on my lunch hours-BUT in my defense I have managed to squeeze in my walking time during these shopping sprees! Sorry, ok I’m focused…on top of that, I bought these really great looking white platforms shoes that were on SALE! Second bad sign, let me tell ya, because I was looking for a good sale and apparently I got one! Then of course there was today’s little episode of “the dark side” by wanting a summer dress that matched/went well with the platforms and any other shoes I have already at home…so as my immediate family has told me, “you’ve gone over to the dark side.” I’m debating on telling them that I’m starting to feel certain amounts of joy as well with my shopping…maybe not because then I’d probably make them really worry about my health! 🙂 Ladies (AND gentlemen), there’s nothing wrong with a little shopping insanity, as long as you don’t let it control YOU! 😉

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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You’re information has been leaked…

With so many means of communication especially on the internet, it’s hard to locate (for you non tech individuals) how or where you’re information gets leaked from. Well the article I’m about to post, was featured today and might just be one of the various ways in which your personal information gets hacked into…

‘Like’ Button Follows Web Users

Internet users tap Facebook Inc.’s “Like” and Twitter Inc.’s “Tweet” buttons to share content with friends. But these tools also let their makers collect data about the websites people are visiting.

These so-called social widgets, which appear atop stories on news sites or alongside products on retail sites, notify Facebook and Twitter that a person visited those sites even when users don’t click on the buttons, according to a study done for The Wall Street Journal.

These widgets are prolific. They have been added to millions of web pages in the past year. Facebook’s buttons appear on a third of the world’s 1,000 most-visited websites, according to the study. Buttons from Twitter and Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOGNews) appear on 20% and 25% of those sites, respectively.

The widgets, which were created to make it easy to share content with friends and to help websites attract visitors, are a potentially powerful way to track Internet users. They could link users’ browsing habits to their social-networking profile, which often contains their name.

For example, Facebook or Twitter know when one of their members reads an article about filing for bankruptcy on MSNBC.com or goes to a blog about depression called Fighting the Darkness, even if the user doesn’t click the “Like” or “Tweet” buttons on those sites.

For this to work, a person only needs to have logged into Facebook or Twitter once in the past month. The sites will continue to collect browsing data, even if the person closes their browser or turns off their computers, until that person explicitly logs out of their Facebook or Twitter accounts, the study found.

Facebook, Twitter, Google and other widget-makers say they don’t use browsing data generated by the widgets to track users; Facebook says it only uses the data for advertising purposes when a user clicks on a widget to share content with friends.

Facebook and Google, which has a widget for its “Buzz” social-networking service, say they “anonymize” browsing data so the information is not traced to a particular user. Facebook says the data are deleted within 90 days, while Google says data are deleted within two weeks.

Facebook and Google say they use the information to measure the widgets’ effectiveness and help other websites attract visitors.

Twitter says it doesn’t use such browsing data and deletes it “quickly.” A spokesman says the company could in theory use the data to “surface better content” for users in the future.

Revelations about the social widgets come amid growing concern about the privacy of Internet and smartphone users. Members of Congress have introduced at least five privacy-related bills this year, including three that aim to create a mechanism that would let users disable tracking.

Some privacy advocates express concerns, citing prior Facebook and Google stumbles over privacy issues.

“Our reading habits online encompass everything we’re thinking about, political and religious views, health and relationship problems,” said Peter Eckersley, a senior technologist at the Electronic Frontier Foundation, a privacy-advocacy group. “Do you want to have an invisible person peering over your shoulder as you walk through the library?”

Widget makers say the collection of users’ Web-browsing activity is an unintended side effect of how the tools work. In order to show a user which of their online friends “liked” a particular article, for example, the widget must know who the user is.

To determine the prevalence of widgets and how they collect information, the Journal asked Brian Kennish, a former Google engineer, to examine the 1,000 most-popular websites, as ranked by Google’s advertising network. Mr. Kennish last year launched Disconnect Inc., which offers software to block data collection by widgets.

Mr. Kennish’s study examined more than 200,000 Web pages on the top 1,000 sites. He found Facebook obtained browsing data from 331 sites, and Google obtained data from 250 sites, some of it from its Buzz widget. Twitter got browsing information from about 200 sites.

Social-sharing widgets first appeared about five years ago, when online services such as Digg Inc. allowed users to share news articles. At the time, widgets did not cause browsing data to be collected by social sites. Widgets are installed by website owners, who like them because they can help generate more Web traffic.

Last year, Facebook introduced the “Like” button and other “smart” widgets. The widgets work with cookies that Facebook places in a Web browser when a user creates an account or logs in to its site. Together, they allow Facebook to recognize its users on any site with Facebook widgets.

Bret Taylor, Facebook’s chief technology officer, says the technology lets websites show visitors what articles their friends liked, for example. “We don’t use them for tracking and they’re not intended for tracking,” he says.

But Facebook says it still places a cookie on the computer of anyone who visits the Facebook.com home page, even if the user isn’t a member. Mr. Taylor says Facebook uses such cookies to protect the site from cyberattacks by people who try to break in to users’ accounts, among other things.

Until recently, some Facebook widgets also obtained browsing data about Internet users who had never visited Facebook.com, though Facebook wouldn’t know their identity. The company says it discontinued that practice, which it described as a “bug,” earlier this year after it was disclosed by a researcher in the Netherlands.

—Geoffrey A. Fowler contributed to this article.

http://finance.yahoo.com/family-home/article/112769/like-button-follows-users-wsj

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Man + Woman = Only Friendship?

It’s fascinating to me how the question of, whether or not opposite sex friendships can exist, still eludes society. I found two articles on this specific topic with two different angles, which has relevancy with what I’ve heard from individuals. Personally, I think they can exist, rare but not unheard of per say. You have the high school friendships that develop and maybe over the years you realize that you’re best friend is who you want to be with, or you have the co-worker ordeal, etc. It’s possible that the friendships can exist but after time/certain point one of the duo will want to find out if they are compatible in a relationship perspective, and so comes the difficulties. So allow me to clarify on my viewpoint- yes I think their possible and yes I think their difficult because after a certain age the innocence is gone and the human natural instinct of “finding a mate” takes precedence. So opposite gender friendships are possible but not probable. But what do you think? I’d love some feedback, opinions, or insight to this topic 🙂 Meanwhile here are the articles and also let me know what you think of my findings…

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, it may explain at least one of their shared beliefs: Men and women can’t be real friends. Blame the sexual tension that almost inevitably exists between any red-blooded, heterosexual man and woman. Point to the jealousy that plagues many rational people when a significant other befriends someone of the opposite sex. Boil it down to the inherent differences between the sexes. It just can’t be done. Right?

Wrong, relationship experts have said. “The belief that men and women can’t be friends comes from another era in which women were at home and men were in the workplace, and the only way they could get together was for romance,” explained Linda Sapadin, a psychologist in Valley Stream, New York. “Now they work together and share sports interests and socialize together.” This cultural shift has encouraged psychologists, sociologists and communications experts to put forth a new message: Though it may be tricky, men and women can successfully become close friends. What’s more, there are good reasons for them to do so.

Society has long singled out romance as the prototypical male-female relationship because it spawns babies and keeps the life cycle going; cross-sex friendship, as researchers call it, has been either ignored or trivialized. We have rules for how to act in romantic relationships (flirt, date, get married, have kids) and even same-sex friendships (boys relate by doing activities together, girls by talking and sharing). But there are so few platonic male-female friendships on display that we’re at a loss to even define these relationships.

Part of this confusion stems from the media. A certain classic film starring Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal convinced a nation of moviegoers that sex always comes between men and women, making true friendship impossible. “When Harry Met Sally set the potential for male-female friendship back about 25 years,” said Michael Monsour, assistant professor of communications at the University of Colorado at Denver and author of Women and Men as Friends. Television hasn’t helped either. “Almost every time you see a male-female friendship, it winds up turning into romance,” Monsour noted. Think Sam and Diane or Chandler and Monica. These cultural images are hard to overcome, he said. It’s no wonder we expect that men and women are always on the road to romance.

But that’s only one of the major barriers. Don O’Meara, Ph.D., at the University of Cincinnati-Raymond Walters College, published a landmark study in the journal Sex Roles on the top impediments to cross-sex friendship. “I started my research because one of my best friends is a woman,” said O’Meara. “She said, ‘Do you think anyone else has the incredible friendship we do?'” He decided to find out, and after reviewing the scant existing research, O’Meara identified the following challenges to male-female friendship: defining it, dealing with sexual attraction, seeing each other as equals, facing people’s responses to the relationship and meeting in the first place.

CHALLENGE #1

Defining the Relationship: Friends or Lovers?

Platonic love does exist, O’Meara asserted, and a study of 20 pairs of friends published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships lends credence to the notion. In it, Heidi Reeder, at Boise State University, confirmed that “friendship attraction” or a connection devoid of lust, is a bona fide type of bond that people experience. Distinguishing between romantic, sexual and friendly feelings, however, can be exceedingly difficult.

“People don’t know what feelings are appropriate toward the opposite sex, unless they’re what our culture defines as appropriate,” said O’Meara. “You know you love someone and enjoy them as a person, but not enough to date or marry them. What does this mean?”

CHALLENGE #2

Overcoming Attraction: Let’s Talk About Sex

The reality that sexual attraction could suddenly enter the equation of a cross-sex friendship uninvited is always lurking in the background. A simple, platonic hug could instantaneously take on a more amorous meaning. “You’re trying to do a friend-friend thing,” said O’Meara, “but the male-female parts of you get in the way.” Unwelcome or not, the attraction is difficult to ignore.

In a study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, Sapadin asked more than 150 professional men and women what they liked and disliked about their cross-sex friendships. Topping women’s list of dislikes: sexual tension. Men, on the other hand, more frequently replied that sexual attraction was a prime reason for initiating a friendship, and that it could even deepen a friendship. Either way, 62 percent of all subjects reported that sexual tension was present in their cross-sex friendships.

CHALLENGE #3

Establishing Equality: The Power Play

Friendship should be a pairing of equals. But, O’Meara said, “in a culture where men have always been more equal than women, male dominance, prestige and power is baggage that both men and women are likely to bring to a relationship.” Women are at risk of subconsciously adopting a more submissive role in cross-sex friendships, he said, although that is slowly changing as society begins to treat both genders more equally.

CHALLENGE #4

The Public Eye: Dealing with Doubters

Society may not be entirely ready for friendships between men and women that have no sexual subtext. People with close friends of the opposite sex are often barraged with nudging, winking and skepticism: “Are you really just friends?” This is especially true, said O’Meara, of older adults, who grew up when men and women were off-limits to each other until marriage.

CHALLENGE #5

The Meeting Place: Finding Friends

As the workplace and other social arenas become increasingly open to women, the sexes are mingling more and more. Still, men and women continue to have surprisingly few opportunities to interact.

“Boys and girls form their own gender groups in elementary school,” explained Monsour. “They learn their own ways of relating to each other. So when they do get together, inspired by puberty, they see each other as dating partners because they’ve never really known each other as friends.” A surprisingly major factor in this phenomenon is the kids’ own innate interest in children who act like they do. Called “voluntary gender segregation,” it continues into adulthood. “You see it at cocktail parties,” said Monsour. “Men go off to one corner, and women go to another.”

These obstacles may seem numerous and formidable, but male-female friendship is becoming not only a possibility but also a necessity. If men and women are to work, play and coexist in modern society, researchers believe men and women must learn to understand and communicate with each other. To that end, social scientists like Sapadin, Monsour and O’Meara have studied how to do just that. The field of research is still in its infancy, but they are now beginning to understand some basic truths about male-female friendship:

TRUTH #1

Friendship Is Not Equal Opportunity

Not until high school does puberty really draw boys and girls together, which then continues into college. But as people develop serious romantic relationships or get married, making and maintaining cross-sex friendships becomes harder. “Even the most secure people in a strong marriage probably don’t want a spouse to be establishing a new friendship, especially with someone who’s very attractive,” said Monsour.

The number of cross-sex friendships continues to decline with age—not surprising, because most older adults grew up in an age where consorting with the opposite sex outside of wedlock was taboo. According to Rosemary Blieszner, at Virginia Tech and author of Adult Friendship, elderly people rarely form new friendships with members of the opposite sex. Her research shows that only about 2 percent of the friendships elderly women have are with men.

TRUTH #2

Men Benefit More from Cross-Sex Friendship

There are proven—and apparent—distinct differences between female friendship and male friendship. Women spend the majority of their time together discussing their thoughts and feelings, while men tend to be far more group-oriented. Males gather to play sports or travel or talk stock quotes; rarely do they share feelings or personal reflections. This may explain why they seem to get far more out of cross-sex friendship than their female counterparts.

In Sapadin’s study, men rated cross-sex friendships as being much higher in overall quality, enjoyment and nurturance than their same-sex friendships. What they reported liking most was talking and relating to women—something they can’t do with their buddies. Meanwhile, women rated their same-sex friendships higher on all these counts. They expect more emotional rewards from friendship than men do, explained Sapadin, so they’re easily disappointed when they don’t receive them. “Women confide in women,” noted Blieszner. “Men confide in women.”

TRUTH #3

…But Women Benefit, Too

All that sharing and discussing in female-female friendship can become exhausting, as any woman who’s stayed up all night comforting a brokenhearted girlfriend can attest. With men, women can joke and banter without any emotional baggage. “Friendships with men are lighter, more fun,” said Sapadin. “Men aren’t so sensitive about things.” Some women in her study also liked the protective, familial and casual warmth they got from men, viewing them as surrogate big brothers. What they liked most of all, however, was getting some insight into what guys really think.

TRUTH #4

Cross-Sex Friendships Are Emotionally Rewarding

Although women dig men’s lighthearted attitude, most male-female friendships resemble women’s emotionally involving friendships more than they do men’s activity-oriented relationships, according to Kathy Werking, at Eastern Kentucky University and author of We’re Just Good Friends. Her work has shown that the number one thing male and female friends do together is talk one-on-one. Other activities they prefer—like dining out and going for drives—simply facilitate that communication. In fact, Werking found, close male-female friends are extremely emotionally supportive if they continuously examine their feelings, opinions and ideas. “Males appreciate this because it tends not to be a part of their same-sex friendships,” she said. “Females appreciate garnering the male perspective.”

TRUTH #5

It’s Not All About Sex

“In reality, sex isn’t always on the agenda,” said Werking. “That could be due to sexual orientation, lack of physical attraction or involvement in another romantic relationship.” After all, even friends who are attracted to each other may also recognize that qualities they tolerate in a friendship wouldn’t necessarily work in a serious romantic relationship. And after years of considering someone as a friend, it often becomes difficult to see a cross-sex pal as a romantic possibility.

Of pairs that do face the question of lust, those that decide early on to bypass an uncertain romantic relationship are more likely to have an enduring friendship, says Werking. One study by Walid Afifi, of Penn State University, showed that of more than 300 college students surveyed, 67 percent reported having had sex with a friend. Interestingly, 56 percent of those subjects did not transition the friendship into a romantic relationship, suggesting that they preferred friendship over sex.

TRUTH #6

Male-Female Friendships Are Political

Men and women have increasingly similar rights, opportunities and interests, which can make cross-sex friendship very political, noted Werking. “It upsets the agreed-upon social order,” she explains. “Women and men engage in an equal relationship, or they aren’t friends.” For one thing, new generations of kids grow up believing that boys can play with dolls and girls can take kickboxing, and they’re crossing paths more frequently as a result.

Men and women are also becoming more androgynous as their societal roles become more similar. “Men are more willing to have feminine characteristics, and women are a lot more willing to admit to traditionally masculine characteristics, like assertiveness,” said Monsour. His dissertation showed that women and men categorized as androgynous had twice the number of cross-sex friends.

Whatever the challenges of male-female friendship, researchers agree that to succeed as friends, both genders have to openly and honestly negotiate exactly what their relationship will mean—whether sexual attraction is a factor and how they’ll deal with it—and establish boundaries. In Afifi’s and Reeder’s studies, the friendships that survived—and even thrived—after sex or attraction came into play were those in which the friends extensively discussed the meaning of the sexual activity and felt confident and positive about each other’s feelings. Once they got past that, they were home free.

“If sex is part of the dynamic, addressing it explicitly is the best strategy” for making sure the friendship survives, said Werking. “The issue will fester if friends try to ignore it.” So in the end, male-female friendship does have something in common with romantic relationships: To work, communication is key.

Researchers tell us that men and women can be friends. But do we really believe them? A survey of more than 1,450 members of the Match.com dating site revealed that we’re an optimistic bunch:

  1. Do you believe men and women can be platonic friends?Yes: 83%No: 11%

    Unsure: 6%

  2. Have you had a platonic friendship that crossed the line and became romantic or sexual?Yes: 62%No: 36%

    Unsure: 2%

  3. Who is more likely to misinterpret the intimacy of friendship for sexual desire?Men: 64%Women: 25%

    Unsure: 11%

  4. Is it possible to fall in love with someone who first enters your life as a friend?Yes: 94%No: 4%

    Unsure: 2%

  5. Do you hope that when you do fall in love, your partner will have started out as your friend?Yes: 71%No: 9%

    Unsure: 20%

  6. Who is better at keeping sex out of a platonic relationship?Men: 13%Women: 67%

    Unsure: 20%

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200109/can-men-and-women-be-friends?page=3

Her Best Friend Is A Guy

It’s not unusual for men and women to be friends. You certainly have female friends, and your girlfriend no doubt has male friends, but if her best friend is a guy, well, that’s a different story.

Whether or not men and women can truly be friends — best friends — has long been a subject of debate, and there’s no way that we’re going to settle that debate here. Suffice it to say, for the purposes of this article, we’re operating under the assumption that heterosexual men and women cannot be best friends; sex always gets in the way.

Therefore, if a guy and a girl appear to be best friends, it’s necessarily because one of them secretly wants to see the other naked.

So what do you do if you meet a girl, start dating her, and find out that her best friend is a guy? Her commitment to her friend might make you jealous, but if you get too possessive too fast, you’re bound to lose her. The trick is to assess whether or not her best friend poses a threat to your relationship, and then deal with the situation accordingly.

Don’t express jealousy

First things first, don’t express jealousy. It’s likely that your girl has dumped many previous boyfriends because he couldn’t handle the fact that her best friend is a guy. It’s especially important to note that if you issue an ultimatum early on in the relationship, you will lose. Besides, jealousy makes you look insecure, especially if it’s unfounded. You need more information before deciding how to act.

Meet the best friend

Tell your girlfriend you want to meet her best friend. It’s the only way you’ll be able to accurately assess their relationship. Does he stare at her longingly? Does she flirt with him? Remember to keep your jealousy in check. He’s her friend, so she’s naturally going to be comfortable hugging him and speaking confidentially to him. Your main objective here is to assess the competition.

Be nice to her best friend

You’d make an effort to be nice to her female friends right? So why should things be any different just because her best friend is a guy?

She’s going to judge you based on how you treat her friends, so make a real effort every time he’s around. Besides, if you’re consistently nice to him, and he’s consistently a dick to you, you’ll be the nice guy who’s making an effort, and he’ll be the jerk.

Find out their history

As you determine whether or not her male best friend poses a threat, you need to find out more about their history. Casually ask whether she and her best friend were ever more than just friends. Keep the tone light and playful. Chances are that she and her best friend had at least one drunken make-out session back in high school. Make sure to find out as much about his romantic history as possible too. If he “never seems to find the right girl,” it could mean he’s still pining after your girl.

Phase him out

If her best friend is a guy, it’s probably going to cause problems for your relationship, as there will always be another guy with whom she’s emotionally intimate. Ultimately, if you want your relationship to succeed, you need to gradually become her “go-to guy,” the first person she thinks to call whenever she has good or bad news. Here are some techniques to help you phase her best friend out of her life.

Find him a girlfriend

Make it a project with your girlfriend to find her best friend a girlfriend of his own. Suggest that the two of you start setting him up with single girls you know. Go on double-dates to facilitate the process.

Get her to talk about him

Another useful technique for phasing him out is to subtly get her to talk about him. Encourage her whenever she starts complaining about him. Be there whenever the two of them get into an argument. Remember, however, to assume a passive role. Insulting her best friend is not the way to her heart, so don’t try badmouthing him yourself.

the delicate art of subtraction

It’s important to remember that women are going to have male friends: We’re not encouraging you to keep her from being friends with any guy. We’re just saying that if her best friend is a guy — her very best friend — you’ll probably need to phase him out before she will ever be totally committed to you.

http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_250/257_dating_advice.html

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Monday, May 16, 2011

Afternoon!

Did you all have a good weekend? I know I did considering that I’m done with finals! 🙂 That’s right, last week was finals for my college. Here I come summer!…that is to say summer vacation until about two weeks. I’m taking summer classes. Bummer I know but I want to finish my school in this lifetime NOT the next! So how many of you still have finals or finals will be coming up soon?

I won’t be able to write about my weekend because it’s a little all over the place right now for me…but I’ll make sure to write soon on various topics since today I was given a huge slap in the face, with how fast life can change in an instant…

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Thursday, May 12, 2011

“Life is a journey and there’s no predicting the outcome.”

If you saw this past week’s episode of Castle, then you should know that the quote above comes from that episode. I have to say that I’m definitely anxious for the season finale; I really want to know if it will leave me suspenseful for the next season.

Well the whole reason I like the quote was because it was relevant to some deep contemplating I was doing this past week. Have you ever had one of those days where you’re just centered with all the thoughts and ramblings going on in you head? Or perhaps you’ve had a moment where your physically present in a group yet your mentally far away, tuned in with all the thoughts whirling around in your head? I better continue with my topic before I lose you to my mental ramblings :p wait a minute…I honestly don’t know now, where I was going with this…oh well.

Meanwhile, I do want to right about something special and particular. So I was put in a strange position two weeks ago. If you’d read one of my previous posts about my grandfather then you can relate this to that event. You see, with my grandfather being ill and disoriented as of late, my mother has showed a more vulnerable side; one I didn’t think I’d see, at least until a long time anyway. Her and I were alone and talking, then out of nowhere she asks, “why do you think God’s doing this? He’s a good man and out of everyone I know even in our own family, he’s never done nor thought anything wrong.” I knew right away she was talking about her dad (my grandfather). At that moment, I don’t know, I felt as if I were the parent and she were a child. So I said the best things that could come to mind, realizing later that what I mentioned to her was exactly what I believed. So this is what I answered:

“Don’t look at it in a negative way, think optimistically. In case you haven’t noticed, he’s the most healthy person in our entire family, even for his age, and even for his age his doing what other elderly people would wish to be able to do. He has no physical illnesses (thank God) nor does he have the usual diseases or illnesses that the elderly are diagnosed with-I mean look at his wife and my dad’s mom, they’re always in some sort of pain or having joint problems. Personally, I think its better for him to have what he has [knowing that it might go away in time even if a LONG TIME.] Of course, granted that he sleeps most of the time, but isn’t that what everyone wants-to be able to die in your sleep. Maybe this is how it’s meant to be. Maybe, whenever his time comes, he’ll leave peacefully.

So now here’s my question to you: Have you ever felt or been put in the position that someone you think as wiser/more experienced/older asks you for advice/your opinion? Have you ever switched roles with your parents even if emotionally? The example being what I mentioned above…And lastly, what do you do or end up doing?

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Make up + Women= What men hate!

My family and I have gotten well acquainted with and have befriended the owner and his “right hand man” (as it were), of the roofing company who have been doing all the repairs on our home. The only reason why I state that first off is because of what this topic is about.

About two weeks ago we were all talking and I’m not really sure how it came about, but there was a comment made about women and make-up, more specifically the foundation that some women use. Both gentlemen agreed that simplicity is a natural beauty and the “right hand man” commented, “I can’t stand women with all that stuff on their face. I don’t like it and a lot of them don’t really need it either.”

The funny thing is that their older and yet I’ve heard similar comments such as theirs from various age groups of men. I personally don’t use it and honestly, don’t like using it. The only makeup I put on is mascara and a lip color; occasionally, the complete make over, but only for special occasions, and even then I’m picky about what’s being put on my face.And my personal fav (thanks to my sister) is MAC!

So my question for you ladies is, are you one the type who clogs her face with makeup or do you like “primping” for the occasion? And guys, how do you like your woman’s makeup or do you think she needs it/your preference towards simple “primping?”

One of the top articles posted today on the front page of yahoo, deals with this particular issue. And here it is:

Neon lips, blue eyeshadow, shimmering glitter, and golden bronzers: This spring, some of the most dramatic looks we saw on the runways are making their way onto our faces. But not everything we dabble on pleases everyone. We had a hunch that some of our biggest beauty obsessions might be turn-offs for guys…so we went ahead asked. Prepare yourself: brutal honesty ensues.

1. Heavy foundation and powders: “The inch-thick powder is a huge turn-off,” says Maxim senior editor Nick Leftley. “No guy wants to kiss a girl on the cheek and then find he¹s wearing foundation himself.” A flaking face is one thing, but when your cheek becomes a palette of skin-tone colors, men pay attention…and not the good attention. “I’m always amazed to see women with two-tone faces, two apparently different shades of skin on the face, as if they apply makeup in the dark,” says James Oliver Cury, the online editorial director at Maxim. “I’d rather see one greasy face than some sort of melanin imbalance. The nose should match the cheeks.”

2. “Bumps”: “I never liked, or knew of any other guy who liked, the Gwen Stefani “bumpit” look,” says Henry Belanger, an editor at The Good Men Project. “Be wary of anything that makes your head look unnaturally large.”

3. Neon lipstick: Most of the fashion world agreed that electric pouts were a beauty “do” this season. Some men, however, beg to differ. “Orange lips are definitely a departure from what we’re used to and not necessarily something a lot of guys I know really respond to just quite yet,” say fashion blogger John Januzzi of Lucky and the fashion website, Textbook.

4. Too-thin brows:“My pet peeve is overly plucked eyebrows,” says David Swanson, Maxim’s Features Editor.”I mean, really? It’s basically an advertisement that naturally you’re hairier than Robin Williams. If it looks natural, we’d never have to wonder.”

5. Bold eye-shadow: “I don’t understand the revival of bright blue eyeshadow,” proposes Maxim’s Cury. “Is it retro? Is it purposefully over-the-top? To my eyes, it just looks tacky no matter how you wear it.” Lucky’s Januzzi isn’t as bothered by color as he is by application. “Smoky eyes–when done right are great–very sexy and attractive but when done wrong they look a total mess,” he says. “Seek professional guidance before trying at home.”

6. Rosy cheeks: “As far as make-up goes, I think rouge is for old ladies,” adds Good Men Project’s Belanger. “I think guys generally prefer the kind of make-up you don’t notice is there, and since there’s a lot that guys don’t notice I think women have a lot of leeway.”

7. Two-toned lips:Remember Kim Mathers? She was almost as famous for her lip liner issues as she was for being defamed by Eminem. According to our dude survey, the pucker problem was more serious. “When I see thin lines drawn around a pair of lips, I think: Is this part of some gang initiation rite?” says Cury.

8. Glitter:“Women need to be judicious with it,” says Cury. “It¹s like any good seasoning. You shouldn’t shake it all over. It can overwhelm the main course.” That being said, he’s not opposed to a heavy sprinkle of cleavage glitter. Figures.

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/make-up-women-love-but-men-hate-2479792/

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Action and Romantic Comedy

Do you think that you can combine an action film with a romantic comedy? I certainly do! And I have to say that I 100% recommend these movies: “Fast Five” and “Just Go with It.” If you haven’t seen it then you need to make time to see these two great films. I’d also suggest watching “Fast Five” first before the other, so that the laughs from “Just Go with It” can calm the high you’ll get from “Fast Five.”

Since I’ve already written a bit about “Fast Five” on an earlier post, I’ll make this one a little bit shorter and simpler. If you haven’t seen/read my post then feel free to click on the post that says ” (Fast & Furious Fans) Fast Five” under the “Exploring” category.

Since Brian O’Conner and Mia Toretto broke Dom Toretto out of custody, they’ve blown across many borders to elude authorities. Now backed into a corner in Rio de Janerio, they must pull one last job in order to gain their freedom. As they assemble their elite team of top racers, the unlikely allies know their only shot of getting out for good means confronting the corrupt businessman who wants them dead. But he’s not the only one on their tail. Hard-nosed federal agent Luke Hobbs never misses his target. When he is assigned to track down Dom and Brian, he and his strike team launch an all-out assault to capture them. But as his men tear through Brazil, Hobbs learns he can’t separate the good guys from the bad. Now, he must rely on his instincts to corner his prey…before someone else runs them down first.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810147120/details

If you haven’t seen it, then make your way to the theater! Believe me, the movie has enough to keep the women and men entertained. And ladies if you don’t like action but find the actors in the movie to be “hot” then believe me you’ll get a good eye full of some “eye candy.” 😉

Now on to “Just Go with It”…First off, any Adam Sandler fans? If you are then this is another must see of his. For those of you who don’t like all his work or haven’t seen that many, I’d recommend to watch this one. It’s got the right amount of sentiment with some interestingly catchy characters and a movie made to make people laugh! 🙂 It’s about:

A plastic surgeon, romancing a much younger school teacher, enlists his loyal assistant to pretend to be his soon to be ex-wife, in order to cover up a careless lie. When more lies backfire, the assistant’s kids become involved, and everyone heads off for a weekend in Hawaii that will change all their lives.

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810150358/details

So my question to you is: Do you have an all time favorite film? A favorite action/romantic comedy that you can always watch no matter what or at anytime?

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Happy Mother’s Day

So at this point you might think I’m crazy considering that Mother’s Day was just celebrated this past Sunday, but you’re WRONG! 🙂 I’m not crazy, when in fact, Mexican Mother’s Day is celebrated on the 10th of May-hence why I’m posting this today! So Happy Mother’s Day (again) to all you mom’s other there.  A Happy late Mother’s Day for all you mom’s who had celebrations this past Sunday.

I started wondering Sunday how the whole origin of Mother’s Day came about, and this is what I’ve found from my googling…

‘Mother’s Day’ Becomes an Official Holiday in the U.S.

Setting aside a day to honor mothers is a tradition celebrated in many cultures and countries, from ancient times to today. In the United States, Mother’s Day became an official national holiday with the signing of a proclamation by President Woodrow Wilson on May 9, 1914. Some form of a mother’s day, however, had been celebrated in America since shortly after the Civil War, begun as small local gatherings of women whose sons had fought each other in the war.

One such woman, Ann Jarvis, established a “Mother’s Friendship Day” committee in 1868, but her dreams of having this established as a national observance had not been realized by her death on May 9, 1905. Her daughter, Anna Marie Jarvis, carried on the struggle to create a national day to honor mothers.

On May 10, 1908, Anna Marie Jarvis held a service to honor her mother and all mothers in the Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia. She delivered 500 carnations at that service, her mother’s favorite flower, thereby establishing one of the first traditions of Mother’s Day. Two years later the state of West Virginia established Mother’s Day as an official holiday, and four years later Congress passed the joint resolution that President Wilson signed on May 9, 1914, establishing the second Sunday in May as “Mother’s Day.”

There is an irony to Anna Marie Jarvis’s successful campaign. To help promote her idea and persuade government officials, she enlisted the help of a wealthy merchant named John Wanamaker, who enthusiastically embraced the concept. Flower and greeting card merchants—and restaurant owners—are forever thankful that he did, as Mother’s Day has become an enormously profitable day for them. The irony is that Anna Marie Jarvis came to despise the commercialism that “ruined” the day she worked so hard to create. In fact, in 1948 (she died in November of that year) she was arrested for disturbing the peace during a demonstration against how commercial Mother’s Day had become.

The following two newspaper articles describe the beginnings of Mother’s Day as an official holiday in the United States. Note in the second article the outcry against one aspect of the already-intense commercialization of the holiday: the exorbitant increase in the price of carnations on Mother’s Day.

This copyrighted article describing President’s Wilson’s proclamation was printed by the Cleveland Plain Dealer (Cleveland, Ohio) on May 10, 1914: http://www.newsinhistory.com/blog/%E2%80%98mother%E2%80%99s-day%E2%80%99-becomes-official-holiday-us

The majority of countries that celebrate Mother’s Day do so on the second Sunday of May. On this day, it is common for Mothers to be lavished with presents and special attention from their families, friends and loved ones. But it wasn’t always this way…

Spiritual Origin of Mothers Day

Only recently dubbed “Mother’s Day,” the highly traditional practice of honoring of Motherhood is rooted in antiquity, and past rites typically had strong symbolic and spiritual overtones; societies tended to celebrate Goddesses and symbols rather than actual Mothers. The personal, human touch to Mother’s Day is a relatively new phenomenon. The maternal objects of adoration ranged from mythological female deities to the Christian Church itself. Only in the past few centuries did celebrations of Motherhood develop a decidedly human focus.

Goddess Isis – Early Egyptian Roots

One of the earliest historical records of a society celebrating a Mother deity can be found among the ancient Egyptians, who held an annual festival to honor the goddess Isis, who was commonly regarded as the Mother of the pharaohs. Her stern, yet handsome head is typically crowned by a pair of bull horns enclosing a fiery sun orb. She is most often depicted sitting on a throne.

So the story goes, after Isis’ brother-husband Osiris was slain and dismembered in 13 pieces by their jealous brother Seth, Isis re-assembled Osiris’ body and used it to impregnate herself. She then gave birth to Horus, whom she was forced to hide amongst the reeds lest he be slaughtered by Seth. Horus grew up and defeated Seth, and then became the first ruler of a unified Egypt. Thus Isis earned her stature as the Mother of the pharaohs.

It is interesting to note that the Mother and Son imagery of Isis and Horus—in which Isis cradles and suckles her son—is strikingly similar to that of the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus.

Cybele – Ancient Roman Celebration

The festival of Isis was also celebrated by the Romans who used the event to commemorate an important battle and mark the beginning of Winter. Despite being an imported deity, Isis held a place at the Roman temple, and her festival—which lasted for three days—was regaled by mostly-female dancers, musicians and singers.

Yet the Roman root of Mother’s Day is perhaps more precisely found in the celebration of the Phrygian goddess Cybele, or Magna Mater (Great Mother).

Cybele stems from the Greek Goddess Rhea, who was the Mother of most of the major deities including Zeus. Rhea was therefore celebrated as a mother goddess, and the festival took place around the time of the Vernal Equinox.

Greek Celebration of Rhea, the Mother of the Gods

In Rome and Asia Minor, Cybele was the major Mother deity most similar to Rhea, the Greek mother of the Gods. Other societies worshipped similar deities including Gaia the Earth Goddess and Meter oreie the Mountain Mother. In many aspects, this Mother goddess was represented and celebrated similarly across cultures.

The Anatolian mother goddess festivals, however, were said to be so wild that they were eventually discouraged or banned. But more conservative celebrations of Cybele and her equivalents included eating honey cakes and sharing flowers in the morning. This was practiced throughout Asia Minor—and eventually in Rome.

The Roman celebration of Magna Mater fell between March 15 and March 22, just around the same time as the Greek festival in honor of Rhea. Referred to as Hilaria, games were held in honor of the Mother of the gods. Also customary was a procession through the streets with a statue of the goddess carried at the head, followed by a display of elaborate arts and crafts.

European Celebration – Celebrating Lent & Mother Church

A later incarnation of a holiday to honor Motherhood came from Europe. It fell on the fourth Sunday Lent (the 40 days of fasting preceding Easter Sunday). Early Christians initially used the day to honor the church in which they were baptized, which they knew as their “Mother Church.” This place of worship would be decorated with jewels, flowers and other offerings.

Family Gatherings With Mom

In the 1600’s a clerical decree in England broadened the celebration to include real Mothers, referring to the day as Mothering Day. Mothering Day became an especially compassionate holiday toward the working classes of England. During this Lenten Sunday, servants and trade workers were allowed to travel back to their towns of origin to visit their families. Mothering Day also provided a one-day reprieve from the fasting and penance of Lent so that families across England could enjoy a family feast—Mother was the guest of honor. Mothers were presented with cakes and flowers, as well as a visit from their beloved and distant children.

Read more about the Origins and History of Mothering Sunday in the UK.

History of American Celebration

When the first English settlers came to America, they discontinued the tradition of Mothering Day. While the British holiday would live on, the American Mother’s Day would be invented—with an entirely new history—centuries later. One explanation for the settlers’ discontinuation of Mothering Day was that they just didn’t have time; they lived under harsh conditions and were forced to work long hours in order to survive. Another possibility, however, is that Mothering Day conflicted with their Puritan ideals. Fleeing England to practice a more conservative Christianity without being persecuted, the pilgrims ignored the more secular holidays, focusing instead on a no-frills devotion to God. For example, even holidays such as Christmas and Easter were much more somber occasions for the pilgrims, usually taking place in a Church that was stripped of all extraneous ornamentation.

Julia Ward Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamaition of 1870

The first North American Mother’s Day was conceptualized with Julia Ward Howe’s Mother’s Day Proclamation in 1870. Despite having penned The Battle Hymn of the Republic 12 years earlier, Howe had become so distraught by the death and carnage of the Civil War that she called on Mother’s to come together and protest what she saw as the futility of their Sons killing the Sons of other Mothers. With the following, she called for an international Mother’s Day celebrating peace and motherhood:

Arise, then, women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts,
Whether your baptism be that of water or of tears
Say firmly:
 
“We will not have great questions decided by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands shall not come to us reeking of carnage,
For caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of
charity, mercy and patience.
 
“We women of one country
Will be too tender of those of another country
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs.”
  
From the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with
Our own. It says, “Disarm, Disarm!”
The sword of murder is not the balance of justice!
Blood does not wipe out dishonor
Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have of ten forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons of war.
 
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.
 
Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
 
Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace,
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
But of God.
 
In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general congress of women without limit of nationality
May be appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient
And at the earliest period consistent with its objects
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions.
The great and general interests of peace.

The Rise & Fall of Howe’s Mother’s Day

At one point Howe even proposed converting July 4th into Mother’s Day, in order to dedicate the nation’s anniversary to peace. Eventually, however, June 2nd was designated for the celebration. In 1873 women’s groups in 18 North American cities observed this new Mother’s holiday. Howe initially funded many of these celebrations, but most of them died out once she stopped footing the bill. The city of Boston, however, would continue celebrating Howe’s holiday for 10 more years.

Despite the decided failure of her holiday, Howe had nevertheless planted the seed that would blossom into what we know as Mother’s Day today. A West Virginia women’s group led by Anna Reeves Jarvis began to celebrate an adaptation of Howe’s holiday. In order to re-unite families and neighbors that had been divided between the Union and Confederate sides of the Civil War, the group held a Mother’s Friendship Day.

Anna M. Jarvis’s Mother’s Day in 1908

After Anna Reeves Jarvis died, her daughter Anna M. Jarvis campaigned for the creation of an official Mother’s Day in remembrance of her mother and in honor of peace. In 1908, Anna petitioned the superintendent of the church where her Mother had spent over 20 years teaching Sunday School. Her request was honored, and on May 10, 1908, the first official Mother’s Day celebration took place at Andrew’s Methodist Church in Grafton, West Virginia and a church in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The West Virginia event drew a congregation of 407 and Anna Jarvis arranged for white carnations—her Mother’s favorite flower—to adorn the patrons. Two carnations were given to every Mother in attendance. Today, white carnations are used to honor deceased Mothers, while pink or red carnations pay tribute to Mothers who are still alive. Andrew’s Methodist Church exists to this day, and was incorporated into the International Mother’s Day Shrine in 1962.

US Government Adoption

In 1908 a U.S. Senator from Nebraska, Elmer Burkett, proposed making Mother’s Day a national holiday at the request of the Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA). The proposal was defeated, but by 1909 forty-six states were holding Mother’s Day services as well as parts of Canada and Mexico.

Anna Jarvis quit working and devoted herself full time to the creation of Mother’s Day, endlessly petitioning state governments, business leaders, women groups, churches and other institutions and organizations. She finally convinced the World’s Sunday School Association to back her, a key influence over state legislators and congress. In 1912 West Virginia became the first state to officially recognize Mother’s Day, and in 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed it into national observance, declaring the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day.

The Fight Over Commercialization

The holiday flourished in the United States and flowers, especially white carnations, became very popular. One business journal, Florists Review, went so far as to print, “This was a holiday that could be exploited.” But the budding commercialization of Mother’s Day greatly disturbed Jarvis, so she vociferously opposed what she perceived as a misuse of the holiday. In 1923 she sued to stop a Mother’s Day event, and in the 1930’s she was arrested for disturbing the peace at the American War Mothers group. She was protesting their sale of flowers. In the 1930’s Jarvis also petitioned against the postage stamp featuring her Mother, a vase of white carnations and the word “Mother’s Day.” Jarvis was able to have the words “Mother’s Day” removed. The flowers remained. In 1938, Time Magazine ran an article about Jarvis’s fight to copyright Mother’s Day, but by then it was already too late to change the commercial trend.

In opposition to the flower industry’s exploitation of the holiday, Jarvis wrote, “What will you do to route charlatans, bandits, pirates, racketeers, kidnappers and other termites that would undermine with their greed one of the finest, noblest and truest movements and celebrations?” Despite her efforts, flower sales on Mother’s Day continued to grow. Florist’s Review wrote, “Miss Jarvis was completely squelched.”

Anna Jarvis died in 1948, blind, poor and childless. Jarvis would never know that it was, ironically, The Florist’s Exchange that had anonymously paid for her care.

Worldwide Spread of Mother’s Day

By the time of Anna M. Jarvis‘s death, over 40 countries observed the Mother’s Day. Here is the history of the spread of Mother’s Day throughout the rest of the world:

Argentina

Though most of South America observes Mother’s Day—Día de la madre—in May, Argentina celebrates on the second Sunday in October. Due to the country’s geographical station in the southern hemisphere, it could be argued that this choice of a date for the holiday more accurately coincides with the traditional springtime seasonality of the Motherhood festivities.

It is customary to honor Argentinean Mothers with dinners, poems and special gestures of attention. Children write letters in school or make cards and crafts to take home. Husbands cook and clean and look after the family, allowing the mother to relax and enjoy the day. Moms are almost certain to receive flowers, cards, candy, jewelry or an unexpected surprise.

One example of an Argentinean Mother’s Day surprise party involves young children gathering their mothers together, encircling them in a room or hallway and reading them poetry. After the reading, a door at the end of the hall is opened to let in all the children’s grandmothers who have remained in hiding up till then. Jubilation ensues.

France

Inspired by American soldiers in World War I, France celebrated other’s Day first in 1918. The Minister of the Interior created the official day in 1920, declaring December 19 La Fete de Meres, Mothers’ Day. The focus then was on the re-population of France following the high rate of attrition from the Great War (aka WWI). Mothers with four or five children were awarded a bronze medal. For six or seven the mother would receive a silver medal, and eight or more offspring garnered the gold. This tradition was abandoned when a more modern version of Mother’s Day came from the Vichy government, which on May 25, 1945, instituted the National Day of Mothers. Today a common gift is a cake shaped to resemble a bouquet of flowers, along with candies, flowers, cards and perfumes.

India

A westernized version of Mother’s Day is officially observed on May 10 in India, though cities and cultural centers tend to celebrate it more than the smaller settlements. On this day mothers receive flowers, a prepared meal, cards or a phone call.

Yet apart from the modern version of Mother’s Day, Hindus have long celebrated a 10 day festival in October called Durga Puja. As the ancient Greeks honored their earth goddess, the Hindu holiday praises their divine mother, Durga. This ancient festival has evolved into one of the biggest events in India. Families spend weeks preparing food and gifts for friends and cleaning and decorating their houses for parties. Businesses and companies now capitalize and plan their own special promotions for the event, much the same way American businesses have tapped into the market potential of Mother’s Day.

Japan

The Japanese call Mother’s Day haha no hi. In 1913, Japanese Christians were already celebrating it, based on the American practice. It grew steadily in popularity and in the 1930’s it was especially prevalent. That changed during WWII when the practice was banned along with all other western customs.

After the war, however, the tradition was taken up again to help comfort to the Mothers who had lost children in the war. By 1949, the celebration of Mother’s Day had again spread throughout the country. The Japanese began holding an art contest for children. The children would enter drawings of their Mothers, and the winning drawings would tour through Japan and other countries in an art exhibit celebrating Mothers and peace. This contest was held every four years.

Today the Japanese celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May. A family may prepare and enjoy traditional dishes that their mothers taught them to cook. The Japanese give their Mothers flowers (especially red carnations), scarves, handkerchiefs and handbags.

Mexico

On May 10th the Mexicans celebrate the Día de las madres. In 1922 a journalist, Rafael Alducín wrote an article advocating the celebration of Mother’s Day in all of Mexico. Though the practice had already spread to parts of Mexico, Alducín’s article led to widespread observance of the holiday, and May 10 is the universal day of celebration in Mexico. In the morning the mother is usually treated to a song sung by her family, or a serenade by a hired band. A family breakfast or brunch is also customary. Any family trouble or enmity is laid aside and all gather to honor the matriarch.

Mexicans typically exchange flowers and chocolates. Cards are very popular, and apparently May 10 is the largest day for card sending in Mexico. Phone calls are also customary if the child cannot make it to see their mother.

United Kingdom

Like the rest of Europe, England and Ireland observed the mid-Lent holiday and honored and decorated their “Mother Church,” the church where they were baptized. The church eventually extended the observation to honor all mothers. The English called this Mothering Sunday and, in the 1700’s they observed it by taking a break from the fasting and penitence of Lent and having a family feast. Children would make a rare journey home from their apprenticeships and jobs to spend the day with their mother and family. Mothering Sunday fell out of practice in the early 1900’s. After WWII, however, the islanders once again picked up the tradition, inspired largely by the United States. Today the UK’s Mother’s Day continues in much the same way as the old tradition, with cards and dinners in honor of Mom.

In addition, cakes and flowers—especially violets—are given to Mom on Mother’s Day in the United Kingdom. It is customary to serve Simnel Cake, a glazed fruitcake inspired by a folk tale about a married couple, Simon and Nell. So the story goes, this pair could not decide bake or broil a cake. So in the end they did both. Thus Simnel Cake was born.

Yugoslavia

Tied to a three day series of holidays, the Mother’s Day cycle in Yugoslavia begins with Children’s Day or “Dechiyi Dan” three days before Christmas. The following Sunday is Mother’s Day or “Materitse”, and the Sunday after that is Father’s Day or “Ochichi.”

On Children’s Day the children are tied up and not released until they promise to be good. On Mother’s day the mother is bound. To earn her freedom she must give the family treats and candy. The father gets tied the next Sunday but must promise more lavish gifts, clothing or shoes, and these items are usually the family’s Christmas gifts.

The typical gifts exchanged include candy, sweets, clothing, shoes, coats—and promises of good behavior.

Other Countries & Regions Celebrating Mother’s Day

  • Asia – Many Asian countries that celebrate Mother’s Day tend to draw heavily from the United States’ tradition.
  • Australia – The Australian Mother’s Day is similar to that of the United States, in which families visit each other and dinners. In addition to flowers, cards, jewelry and chocolates, it is customary for Australians to exchange perfume and teas on Mother’s Day.
  • Bahrain – In Bahrain Mother’s Day is called Ruz-e Madar and it coincides with the first day of spring, observed as March 21, as are the Mother’s Day celebrations in Lebanon and the United Arab Emirates.
  • Belgium – In the Dutch-speaking parts of Belgium the day is called Moederdag.
  • Canada – Canada was one of the first nation’s to pick up the US version of Mother’s Day, making it a national holiday in 1909, one year later the United States did. The customs largely reflect those of its southern neighbor, although in Canada there seems to be an added emphasis on doing chores for the Mother and cooking her supper.
  • China – While China’s Mother’s Day distinguishes itself little from the United States’, it is interesting to note that most Chinese names begin with a character signifying Mother in honor of ones maternal heritage, helping explain the cultural compatibility of such a holiday, despite it’s having been imported from the West.
  • Denmark – In Denmark dining out to lunch is a popular Mother’s Day pastime. The day is called Mors Dag.
  • Ethiopia – Mother’s Day in Ethiopia occurs in mid-fall when the rainy season ends. Called “Antrosht,” Ethiopians celebrate by making their way home when the weather clears for a large family meal and a three day long celebration. For the feast the children bring ingredients for a traditional hash recipe. The ingredients are divided along gender lines, with girls bringing butter, cheese, vegetables and spices while the boys bring a bull or lamb. The mother prepares the hash and hands it out to the family. After the meal a celebration takes place. The mothers and daughters ritually anoint themselves with butter on their faces and chests. They dance while the men sing songs in honor of family and heroes. This cycle of feasting and celebration lasts two or three days.
  • Finland – In Finland Mother’s Day is called aidipayiva. In the morning the family arises and takes a walk, picking the new flowers which bloom this time of year and making a bouquet for the mother. A particular flower called the valkovuokko is favored. This is a small white pungent flower. Back home Mom presented with a decorated bouquet, while also being served breakfast in bed.
  • Hong Kong – Hong Kong’s holiday, called mu quin jie, is notable for its custom to pay honor to the parent of the Mother if she is deceased.
  • Italy – The Italians celebrate La Festa della Mamma with a big feast and a cake made in the shape of a heart. Typically Italian schoolchildren will make something to bring home to their Mothers, and the family will take care of the chores for the day.
  • Norway – The Norwegian Morsdag takes place on February’s second Sunday.
  • Pakistan (and Saudi Arabia) – The May 10 celebration of Motherhood in Saudi Arabia and Pakistan is called Yaum ul-umm. It is inspired by and modeled after the western tradition of Mother’s Day in which all mothers are honored and given gifts. Celebrations and feasts are customary.
  • Saudi Arabia – see Pakistan
  • Serbia – Also occurring two weeks before Christmas, the Serbian Mother’s Day tradition is quite similar to the Yugoslavian one. The Sunday prior to Mother’s Day is commemorated by a ritual in which parents tie up their young ones until they promise to behave themselves. Retribution comes a week later when children bind their mother until she offers them candy and other treats. But it doesn’t end on Mother’s Day. The following Sunday it’s the father’s turn to be tied up until he promises some pricey gifts.
  • Singapore – Singapore’s Mother’s Day places a heavy emphasis on marketing a wide variety of gifts including spa packages, vacuums, hampers, jewelry and other more traditional presents such as flowers.
  • South Africa – South Africa celebrates Mother’s Day on the first Sunday in May.
  • Sweden – Sweden’s Mother’s Day, which takes place on the last Sunday in May, has a strong charitable focus: the Swedish Red Cross sells small plastic flowers leading up to the holiday, and the proceeds raised are given to poor mothers and their children.
  • Thailand – Perhaps the most unique Asian Mother’s Day holiday takes place in Thailand. The celebration coincides with the birthday of their beloved queen, Sirikit Kitayakara, who has reigned since 1950. Her birthday, and therefore Mother’s Day, takes place on August 12.
  • Turkey – Mother’s Day in Turkey is heavily influenced by the traditions from the United States.

http://www.mothersdaycentral.com/about-mothersday/history/

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Wednesday, May 4, 2011

So I had lunch yesterday with my sister and it was stimulating conversation. It seems like she had come to certain realizations and needed to voice her opinion…It’s funny how God/fate works or the way that events occur. See she was talking about our family members, the situation with my grandfather, and everything else going on; how it all intertwines with our own personal lives. Her and I are both single/unattached with no families of our own or even the thought of a significant other, and it’s ironic that it’s during the climactic time of events. We’re both unique and strong individuals so taking charge of certain issues/situations is what’s needed, in order to allow the carefree feeling for other family members. Another wards, as the saying goes, “everything happens for a reason.”

My question to you readers is: Do you ever look at your life and think, that if something or someone else was involved you wouldn’t manage to accomplish half or any of the things you’ve managed to do and manage at that point and time?

I don’t know why, but yesterday felt like one LONG Tuesday! Got home from work yesterday to see that people were working on the roof tiles and vehicles were parked in our co-sack.  Yup that’s right, after all this time, and all the thunderstorms that have since passed through northern Texas, after that one bad hail storm-the house is starting to get it’s repairs! Granted not all of them but the most important of them all-the roof-is. The company doing it are definitely recommendable. Their meticulous, efficient, organized, considerate, prompt, and the whole group in general are pretty great.

Well moving on! I ended up parking on our neighbor’s front curb since we had to wait until they were done, to put in the trucks. My dad was already outside so chilled outside with him while he explained to me what was going on with the roof. I do have to interject here and say that the weather was so beautiful, that you just didn’t want to stay inside the house! A little later, of course after already satisfying my tummy :), two gentlemen from the roofing company arrived to do moisture readings at various locations of the house. We had them also check the attic outside the home, but above the garage, as well; but because of all the Christmas decorations in the way of the attic ladder entrance, a little labor work had to be done. We (well more like I because my sister took her sweet time getting changed out into “working clothes”) moved aside all the boxes and gave them room to maneuver and work . Once they were finished, we put everything back as is, without already putting up the Christmas decorations…well we were sadly mistaken if we thought we’d get away without doing it. About the same time that we were already walking back into the house, my mother takes the initiative in telling us to make sure that we cleared up all the boxes from the garage. So just take a wild case what we ended up doing the rest of the evening?…Oh yeah, clearing up the Christmas boxes by placing them in the attic and sweeping. My sister was at the top, in the attic, waiting to pull up the boxes I would carry and bring up. Now here is where my focus will be…

We had left the heavy boxes last so to get all the light weight boxes out of the way, but on top of that my dad had told us to leave the heavy boxes last so that way he could help me with the heavy ones. Low and behold when the time came for heavy boxes to be carried up, he was no where near us and actually I had no clue where he was. One of the employees from the roofing company (and no I don’t mean the actual roofers who were installing the roof) noticed what we were doing and my hesitation with one of the heavy boxes. He said, “do you need help with that?” The “I can do anything and not depend on anyone” part of me was screaming NO, that we’d manage just fine on our own; the logical, realistic, and girlish part of me won over, and answered “yes please, if you don’t mind.” Seriously guys word of advice-never wait for a gal to ask you for help or stand around until help is needed. It’s amazing what being attentive of your surroundings and another person, does for a guys persona. Or am I the only one who thinks this? Come on ladies help me out here!

For example: Let’s say that I’m at Lowe’s or Home Depot (and yes I DO go to those stores!) or better yet let’s just say Wal-Mart. I’m buying a two or three whole cases of water bottles, a few boxes of soda, and dog food. I’m in the check out line and I notice three different type of single/unattached males (making an assumption/presumption here); one behind me in the same check out line who’s tall and athletic looking, strongly built, attractive, ruggedly yet comfortable complimenting his image, and has numerous tattoos on his arms and even his hands. Then there’s the tall attractive preppy/polo dressed male, also well built, with a aura of “I’m well educated,” and in the check out line right next to me. Finally the last male to notice is a scrappy dressed male who’s too good looking for his own good, a large university gradation ring on his finger, also well built and maybe even better than the other two. You’ve made eye contact with all three men at different times and they’ve all smiled at you warmly. They also notice the heavy groceries you’re about to purchase, especially in comparison to their purchases…It’s now time to load up your cart and as you’re about to lift the large bag of dog food from the floor unto you’re cart, the tattooed man that was behind you walks up to grab the bag saying “let me help you with that.” It’s possible that he might just offer to load the items into your vehicle as well. The other two gentleman have already made their purchases and walk right around your last case of water bottles-not even bothering to help you since you obviously needed the help. Personally, the other two more attractive males, have just looked like giant a****. Eye flirting can be intense but caring/nurturing flirting has more of an effect, because a person can pick up on an individuals personality in 10 minutes or less (at least the ones who pay attention to their intuition and gut feelings.) Yes I know it’s a little sketchy especially for skeptics because many of you could say any of the the following:

  • “I don’t need a man to help me”-for you independent individuals
  • “What you think I can’t do it or manage on my own…what’s in it for you?”- for you skeptics
  • “He could be one of those schmoozing rapists/killers who helps you to get close enough to commit the crime” – for you crazy analytical people who look for the worst in every person and situation
  • “Men with tattoos scare me and no offense to them but they make me nervous or on edge” – for you tattoo phobic people who think everyone with tattoos are up to no good and therefore can’t be educated, civil, or courteous to people
  • etc…

I’m sure we can all think of a few more. So here’s my question to you guys: Are you oblivious to when a gal needs your help or hesitant to help because of women station/independence in society now? Or what is it about the circumstances/person that gives you a “green light to go” to offer help?

Now here’s one for you women: What type of woman are you? Anything of what’s mentioned above or perhaps an explanation of your own?

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Castle

How many of you watch television shows from the ABC network? Any favorites or particular ones that catch your attention?

Well I have to say that I’m hooked on the TV series CASTLE! If you haven’t seen it I recommend it, if you haven’t read any of his books then I’d also recommend it. The funny and ironic thing is, “Rick Castle” is not some fictional character and is played as the actual Richard Castle. Once finding that out I did some research (because let’s face it, it was going to bug me not knowing if I had heard correctly on the interview) and I recognized him from the movie “Blast from the Past” with Brenden Fraiser. So here’s his official website: http://www.richardcastle.net/

Again if you haven’t watched it, just give it a shot and see if you like it; all I ask is that you let me know what you thought 🙂 As for the rest of you who actually watch the series, are you as anxiously waiting this season’s finale as I am?!…

Now for you wonderful readers out there. I recommend Richard Castle’s books because I have to admit…I’m hooked! If you haven’t read them please do and talk to me about it-I’m currently on Naked Heat (or something along those lines-my apologies Richard Castle if I didn’t get the title of your book right). And for those of you who have already read it, you won’t ruin the book by telling me how it ends, I’m still gonna read it and continue reading it anyway! 😉

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(Fast & Furious Fans) Fast Five

Before anything else, the answer to yesterday’s Fact or Fiction question is: FACT! Habitat for Humanities was founded by Millard Fuller in 1976 and in 1996, because of such a cause, our former president Bill Clinton awarded Fuller with “Presidential Medal of Freedom.” He was awarded the highest civilian honor and has been said to have “…the most successful continuous community service project in the history of the United States.” Unfortunately, Fuller died in 2009 at the age of 74, but leaving behind an extraordinary legacy. http://www.habitat.org/how/millard.aspx?tgs=NS8zLzIwMTEgMTI6MTI6NDUgUE0%3d

So it seems that “Fast Five” has made a record this past weekend! This article was posted on the front page of Yahoo today: http://movies.yahoo.com/news/movies.ap.org/fast-five-races-furious-start-with-836m-ap

LOS ANGELES – “Fast Five” has left the competition in the dust with an $83.6 million debut to grab the No. 1 spot at the weekend box office, according to studio estimates Sunday. Universal Pictures’ fifth movie in “The Fast and the Furious” franchise was by far this year’s biggest opening. Its take was more than double the previous best of $39.2 million for “Rio,” the 20th Century Fox animated hit that slipped to No. 2 with $14.4 million. The No. 1 movie the two previous weekends, “Rio” raised its total to $103.6 million. “Fast Five” set a record for best April debut ever, speeding past the $71 million haul of its predecessor, “Fast & Furious,” two years ago. The movie reteams stars Vin Diesel and Paul Walker  as outlaw driving aces and adds Dwayne Johnson as a federal agent on their tail. The action expands beyond the franchise’s traditional racing scene into a broad crime romp.

Any serious movie gurus out there? aside from the literal meaning or definition everyone goes by I have to explain that mine is a little different. When I say movie guru it’s more than just the literal sense of knowing about all the movie or at least a good amount of information about films. It’s how you’re in tune with “entertainment” and when that movie you’ve been wanting to watch premiers and you haven’t seen it, people are saying how “wicked” it is, and the clips on the internet are previews of what seems to be a great movie-you’ll try to make sure that you WATCH THE MOVIE! 🙂 Come on, I know there’s got to be a few of you out there, that I’m not the only one in this regard-otherwise how would “Twilight” have gotten as far as they have? 😉

So I did a little exploring and have come up with some interesting information. For those of you who have seen the film, bear with me in case you already know this information or have seen these clips…McCarthy who is the “Car Coordinator” for the film has enlightened us with the “Fast Five” vehicles: http://screenrant.com/fast-five-cars-mikee-98549/

Okay so at the beginning of this film the vehicles would be: We have a Pantera – a Classic 1971 Pantera. We have a GT40 – the original one. We have a Corvette Grand Sport – a 1965 Corvette Grand Sport. Those are the first three cars that you see in the opening sequence. We have a vehicle built – basically we call it the “Heist Truck”. It was kind of a one-off, custom-built vehicle. Big tires. Almost a kind of monster truck style but built for a specific purpose. No flash, no cosmetics, just pure function. That was probably the most challenging sequence of the film, just because we were out in the middle of the desert at 120 degrees, in the sand and the dirt. Just keeping things running in those conditions is always tough.

We have the Charger back. We have the ’70 Charger back. Basically when you first see the guys down in South America, Vin [Diesel]’s in his Charger, as you’ve seen it out here. It’s not quiet the same. It’s not as flashy. It doesn’t have the motor. He’s trying to make it a little bit more inconspicuous so he could make it all the way down. That’s when you see Paul Walker in the ’72 Skyline. Another car you see down there is the character Han has a Ford Maverick, which seems like another odd choice but if you look at the cars of South Polo, and Rio, the car culture there, Maverick is one of the top muscle cars. It’s just one of the cars that Ford’s produced down there. So you have Maverick, which is another hot car. Unfortunately we tried to get one here. We have a car called the Chevy Impala. That’s like your Chevy muscle car and your Ford muscle car in South America…

We have a 370Z. We have a brand new Subaru, which Subaru basically donated to our cause. Those cars are once again modified by Rhys Millen. They’re all used here. There’s a sequence where they are zipping through the auto plant, kind of like an obstacle course. We have a Porsche GT3, which is basically something that we cloned. We did bring back a Toyota Supra. Some of those right hand drives are back in. Early Skyline, we have a 2010 Skyline in the film. We have a Lexus LFA, which I was very happy to get.

So we have (I’d suggest googling some of these vehicles because they are pretty SWEET!):

  • 1963 Ford Galaxy
  • 1966 Ford GT40
  • 1966 Corvette Grand Sport
  • 1967 International Scout
  • 1970 Charger
  • 1970 Ford Maverick
  • 1972 Nissan Skyline
  • 1972 Pantera Detomaso
  • 1996 Toyota Supra
  • 2002 Porsche GT3
  • 2006 GMC 2500 Yukon
  • 2009 Nissan 370Z
  • 2010 Dodge Challenger
  • 2010 Subaru STi
  • 2010 Lexus LFA
  • 2010 Modified Vault Chargers
  • 2011 Dodge Charger Police Interceptor
  • Gurkha LAPV
  • Ducati Street Racer
  • Train Heist Truck
  • Koenigsegg CCX

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Monday, May 2, 2011

Afternoon everyone!

Hope you all had a great weekend, even if the weather here in Texas was a little off kilter! 🙂 But hey what else is new-that’s Texas weather for you. Anyone do anything exciting or worth while? If you’re still in college/university you have finals coming up soon or you already studying for them? Come on guys! (and girls) I’m not one for complete silence…which is odd considering that I like my “solo time” and meditation with quiet. Hmm, guess I’m going to have to look into that later…

Before I forget; the answer to the Fact or Fiction question from my previous posting is…FICTION! Lightning struck victims carry no electrical charge and should therefore be attended to immediately!

Did anyone go see “Fast Five”?! It premiered this past Friday. If you have seen just tell me if it was good or not and don’t spoil it for me! I haven’t seen it (but am planning to this week baby!) but would greatly appreciate any reviews on the film. I have to stay I’m pretty excited to watch it, granted that some movies have “hollywood fairy dust” to them, but these vehicle intense films tend to make a person miss all that “fairy dust.” Okay, fine I’m lying…it’s not JUST the cars/vehicles in the film but the characters as well 😉 Come on ladies, admit it (I know I will) who doesn’t like the characters portrayed by Vin, Paul, and Dwayne? The “Fast” films don’t just have the action scenes and cars giving adrenaline rushes. Although, I’m curious if anyone has notice how much BIGGER “The Rock” has gotten…does anyone know any particular reason why he’s literally bulging more than usual or at least compared to the last action film he was in? Or maybe it’s just me.

My Saturday had an early start. Earlier in the week I remember thinking that I’d have a more “chill” weekend this past weekend. That idea was obliterated by my iPhone’s reminder of “Love Where You Live” for April 30th. I’ll admit I grumbled for a little bit but was excited for the event. See the college (and certain organizations) got together with Habitat for Humanities and were designated a specific home in Plano, TX. I wasn’t sure how the agenda throughout the day was going to be like so I made sure to get up in the morning Saturday, with enough time to have a decent breakfast. I’m sorry but I can’t function on an empty stomach! No way and no how. We were given volunteer t-shirts and so the renovation project began. We were told that we would finish by 2pm…it was really altogether a fun and great experience. Made new acquaintances and had a fun time with a few people from the group. I had to apologize a few times though to people because I was being a little bit “mandona” (Spanish word for bossy/demanding/commanding). In my defense though, there was no order or at least at certain times there was no order, and some of the group just weren’t taking the initiative. But anyway!…I did notice, that out of the entire volunteer group there was only four guys and the rest were all female. It was truly entertaining and the owner of the designated property we worked, was a sweet Hispanic man who seemed more inclined to want to help then to allow us to do the work for him.  Of course that was only Part I of the project, since it doesn’t necessarily end, until I believe, the end of June or mid-July. For now, based on what was done Saturday, his house is at least presentable for the community (so hopefully the City of Plano won’t bother him too much now) and certain aesthetic work was completed on his house.

Which leads me to my question for you. Have you ever volunteered for Habitat or perhaps another non-profit? Do you see volunteer work as a chore or something fulfilling as well as endearing to those you help? And (I wish I could insert a drum roll here…) our Fact or Fiction question of the day!

Fact or Fiction: Is Habitat for Humanities a worldwide Christian housing ministry?

Stay tuned for the answer! 🙂

Yours truly,

Young Adult

P.S. I have a feeling that this week is going to be a love-hate week…I am looking forward to it though, as well as the weekend! 🙂

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The First day of Class…

Fact or Fiction: Is the first day of classes meaningless? Is it just a day of reviewing the syllabus and getting out of class early?

The answer is…Fact! The best way to make the most of your college experience is to make the most of it from the very beginning!

“When students attend the first day of class, it sets a ‘proactive’ tone for student preparation by taking an active, responsible approach to learning for the rest of the semester,” Dr. Cynthia Shields, Collin College professor of College Success, said. “The student is also able to understand what is important to the professor and what is expected of the student in class behavior and what type of coursework, test and quizzes, and projects they will do throughout the semester.”

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Wednesday, April 27, 2011

If you recall, Monday had a “Fact or Fiction” question for you; “Does lightening strike the same place twice?” The answer to that question is…FICTION. Lightening has “favorite spots” or designated areas that may be hit many times during a storm.

Now I’ll leave you with another one: Is it true that people struck by lightening carry an electrical charge and should not be touched?

So today is my mom’s birthday. Happy Birthday Mom!! 🙂 Things are a little difficult since it’s not just the four of us (my dad, sister, mom, and I) celebrating her birthday-which don’t get me wrong-it’s nice when all the family is together but usually the family gathering is until the weekends, so doing anything particularly special for her is out of the question. A lunch date for her birthday was done with the attendance of my sister, dad, and grandparents. It was nice altogether except for me being busier at work than usual and leave to lunch later, then having a longer than intended phone call, which made me arrive late to the table at the restaurant. But all was well 🙂 At least I thought so…I find out late in the afternoon that my entire family will be getting together at our house to celebrate my mom’s birthday; I’m glad and that’s wonderful but I know I wouldn’t be there because of my night class…This was the first year that I literally missed my mother’s birthday and I couldn’t do anything to change it. I had to attend class with finals coming up and to top it off since it’s history, I knew if I missed class I’d lose more information on lecture and on anything pertaining to class assignments and the final coming up. As I’m recording the class (about 9pm already) I notice that my phone has a text message from not only my sister but from one of my uncles as well. Their wanting to know if I’m gonna be able to get out of class so that they can cut the cake…if I was feeling worse before, at that moment I felt like someone had just punched me! I wasn’t there for my mom’s birthday, even after everything she’s done and her always being there for me…

So let me ask you this: What would you have done in situation if you couldn’t miss class and it was someone’s birthday, someone special for you, birthday? How would you have handled the situation?

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Monday, April 25, 2011

It’s only Monday and it seems like it’s going to be one of those weeks…I’m starting to wonder why people don’t get the Monday after Easter off? Granted, I know I shouldn’t be complaining especially since I had Good Friday off and other might not have, but it’s not rocket science! Mostly everyone in the nation does something on Easter and by the end of the day, Easter Sunday, everyone is pooped/tired and somewhat dreading going early to work the following day. Now, no offense to other religions (especially to the one I’m about to mention; its not meant as an insult), but why is it that all the Jewish holidays are recognized and no one can say anything about a Jewish individual “time off?” Hmm, never mind-maybe it’s just me and I’m depicting it based on the vast amount of time I spent in New York…

Well yesterday was a wonderful day until the clouds became darker and the wind became stronger and colder. Nice size storms entered into the area and of course added on to our already damaged property. Here are some pictures I was able to take from our terrace, before I was yelled back into the house 🙂 

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We had all been outside for most of the day, then about 6pm the sky began to shift and clouds came rumbling in. There was hail in the storm (again) but thankfully not as big and it stopped about as quickly as it began. Of course these past few storms we’ve been having haven’t been anything like the one northern Texas received three weeks ago…

The storm three weeks ago was definitely something to remember. Although I have to admit that if it wasn’t for my sister who had screamed my name out above the noise, I probably would have never known it was storming outside; and yes to answer your question that’s how deep of a sleep I am :p It was already after midnight that day and as soon as I heard my name called out I woke up to the sound of heavy rain, high winds, wall shaking thunder, and lightening. Let me tell you though it wasn’t your normal sound of heavy rain and it’s so hard to describe in words what it actually sounded like. As I was making my way down the stairs loud gunshot noises erupted around the house, only it was baseball size hail. It was loud and was able to do a lot of damage…Have you ever thrown a baseball into a glass window? Or perhaps you’ve heard a glass window break? Well that sound times fifty was how it sounded all around the house; but added with the actually sounds of the hail falling (that gunshot sound)…it did get the blood pumping and rushing…

So my question to you is: Do you like storms? Have you ever been caught in a scary/bad storm or wanted to go in one (driving wise I mean)? Do you ever stop and admire a storm as it’s approaching? It’s amazing to behold the way nature works…Ever taken pictures of a storm?

Which brings us to our first “Fact or Fiction”! Does lightening strike the same place twice?

Yours Truly,

Young Adult

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Sunday, April 24, 2011

Afternoon everyone!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter weekend! Did you have any special plans or perhaps any Easter traditions that took place? I would love to hear how you’re day went?…

Speaking of family and traditions 🙂 It was nice to have my whole family come together this past Sunday-actually more like the weekend! My family traditions start on Holy Thursday-with the mass and the “washing of the feet” and end until Easter Sunday. Even with a little scare Friday night that had us venturing into the ER, I’d say it was a pleasant Easter weekend.

Yup that’s right! Most of Friday night and into Saturday morning was spent at the ER. Amazingly enough it didn’t feel like we were long at the ER but after looking at the clock when we left and at the time I went to bed…oh yea it was a lot. It started with my family about to have dinner when my grandfather began to feel sick. Keeping a close eye on him, it was realized that he was not well and the “hospital” was on everyone’s mind. The manager of the restaurant called the ambulance for us and medical assistance was close at hand. The ambulance and firefighter truck parked and “delish” men began to help my grandfather. That’s right I said it! There was delish men from the firefighter truck and ambulance. Now don’t be hating because come on ladies (and gentlemen) when hasn’t an individual appreciated the opposite sex no matter what the circumstances were! I’ve heard stories that a person could be literally in the hospital bed about to have surgery and yet if some one attractive caught their eye, their response to that person is immediate! Come on admit it, you’ve done it before at some point and time! And if not now then you will! :p But back to my story; so he was admitted into the hospital and we didn’t leave till about a little after 3am. By the time we got home and I settled into bed it was already a little past 4am. Not to worry though because I was able to still eat something even though we had missed dinner 😉

I have to say though, the weird part is, when we all got out of the hospital and headed to our house…it was an odd moment of reminiscing joy-feeling when everyone was gathered in the kitchen trying to make themselves something to eat and chatting away; since my grandfather was already settled in at the house. I don’t know, it’s just hard to explain I suppose…but I think I’ll have to write to you later because some very dark clouds are rolling in…

But before leaving here are some questions for you: what Easter traditions do you have, if any? Have you ever noticed how attractive someone was even though the circumstances aren’t the best? Are you one of those people who can function with little sleep or hardly any?

Yours truly,

Young Adult

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Easter Weekend

Today is practically my Friday here at work and I have to say I’m thankful and fortunate enough to have Good Friday off, as many still don’t have tomorrow off. And as I was sitting here wondering about the “Easter bunny” (yes that’s right, the Easter bunny) I googled for the History of easter…

Easter, which celebrates Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead, is Christianity’s most important holiday. It has been called a moveable feast because it doesn’t fall on a set date every year, as most holidays do. Instead, Christian churches in the West celebrate Easter on the first Sunday following the full moon after the vernal equinox on March 21. Therefore, Easter is observed anywhere between March 22 and April 25 every year. Orthodox Christians use the Julian calendar to calculate when Easter will occur and typically celebrate the holiday a week or two after the Western churches, which follow the Gregorian calendar.

So my question to you is: Do you have any specific plans or traditions that you do on/for Easter? Whether it being religious, personal, or something you do as a family…I’d love to know! 🙂

http://www.history.com/topics/history-of-easter

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